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Old 06-19-2008, 08:00 AM
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Padraig Padraig is offline
Lighten up Francis
 
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Woodchuck to Grey Squirrel...Woodchuck to Grey Squirrel...

After nearly four years, I believe phase one of our super genius board take-over is complete. I have convinced most here that I am in love with a small poisonous nut that mysteriously resembles the ocular of a male dear. (I say "most" because one they call Tibor still shows unprovoked disdain for me every once in a while, though I'm not sure whether he suspects our evil plan, or he truly is the 'son of a motherless goat' as has been asserted, and he simply hates everyone here)

I have studied the culture of the general masses and have discovered that an apparent path to board power lies in posting large amounts of pornography in a secret meeting room, and random verbal attacks on a man whose parents gave him both a first and last name that is slang for penis.

After one accumulates a large number of golden marijuana leaves (which I find to look neither green nor black), symbolic of board acceptance, I believe invitations are extended to an annual Spring meeting where it is said that female officers (code names Deety & Peach) jump out of a giant cake and randomly "make out" throught the evening (at least that's what the underlings in the secret pornography meeting room believe happens).

In any case, though I have made much initial progress, we may have made one major miscalculation in our take-over plans: namely that I have reason to believe that the forums of this site have already been infiltrated and possibly even taken over by someone who appears to be posting under dozens, if not hundreds of User Names. He mainly posts under the code name BKB, but I also believe he is most of our former US Presidents as well as an extremely attractive female high school pole vaulter...this man, though extremely unstable & dangerous, could be our leader.

I will continue to moniter and assimilate, and report back in another four years.


P.S.

Hey Billy! Call Timmy, Skeeter & Big Head, and come over tonight. Mom just stocked the frige and we can fire up the Nintendo and rock an all night Duck Hunt tourney.


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