[cincibuck]

Well, Let's take a look here:

San Diego State : Instead of Georgia Tech... Certainly a drop off in the name and fight song recognition charts and they'll still be digging out from all the ash and soot. At home. Let's give ol' Charlie a W.

Michigan: hey, they lost all their stars. Oh wait, Ryan Mallet started this game in 07 and has certainly looked better than our Mr. Quad Heisman and Hart's back up managed 125 against a good Illinois team. OK, so it's an L, but that's cause they've got all those seniors and [censored].

Michigan State: At East Lansing with Jevon Ringer, Colkrut, Hoyer, an improving defense and a real coach. Hey, who put these guys on here, Willingham? Eat another L

Purdue: Third home game in the first four. Trouble is Tiller is going to have an experienced QB with a gun and some decent receivers. Give me a W. We beat Purdue as often as Stanford beats Cal.

Stanford: At home again. Nothing like home cooking when you're a fat bastard. And we drop this game right into the middle of the PAC 10 season. Harbaugh may have shown he's the kind of coach who can set an ambush. After all he caught USC at home in 07. Of course he can't blame Willingham 'cause, well he just can't. Give ol' Charlie a W to carry him into his bye week. Thank you very much. We're three and two and BCS eligible.

Bye: No O, No D in Bye. Besides, Charlie's all over Bye. Give him a W here. OK, we schedule Bye, but you guys play Northwestern every year. We're 4 and 2. Who says you can't count Bye as a win? We're Notre Dame.

North Carolina: Young coach down there, bringing his team along nicely and we have to go on the road, down South, where they hate Mackerel Snappers (except for the folks in Cajun land, who hate us anyway). Week after the big game with Bye, Perfectly logical to lose. Game after Bye week, on the road (Willingham scheduled it that way) and in front of a hostile audience, we're everybody's Big Game, we beat NC about as often as we beat Michigan so, given 50 - 50 odds, take an L. 4 and 3

Washington: On the road again? Damn, I know this is Willingham's doing. Didn't he know we're Notre Dame? We should play at home every week. Let the world come to us, after all, we invented football. And [censored], he knew he'd have that Locker kid as a sophomore when he got us in his new place. Why are we everybody's Big Game? Well, we beat Washington about as often as we beat Michigan. we'd get the W, but compared to Jimmy Pickle, that Locker kid is a stud. You won't see him standing on a dock with two butthole buddies in Speedos. Take an L and some KY jelly. Jesus, we're at 500.

Pittsburgh: Back in the Big Least, You know, maybe we should play in a league and this one sure feels like a fit. Good to great basketball. Mediocre football with lots of fans screaming about getting no attention and no respect... sounds familiar. And the Wam-a-doodle is their coach. Gimme a W. 5 and 4

Boston College: At their place. That damn Willingham, always [censored]in' with our schedule and [censored]. And they've got a coach and fans who want to kill us after that pencil-necked-geek of ours went on ESPN and talked about how he got accepted to BC, but chose ND. Take an L. Five and five. Something is wrong here. NBC called about the contract...

Navy: Jesus, on the road again. I'm going to kill that [censored]in' Willingham next time I see him. Oh well, we're in Lord Baltimore's hometown, a whole state set aside for Catholics gettin' the [censored] kicked out of them in Elizabeth's England, and it IS Navy. Hand us the Commander's Cup, we're going bowling! Six baby, Six quality wins. SOS pays off. Call the Orange Bowl folks, tell 'em we accept. We're Notre Dame!

Syracuse: Are you [censored]tin' me? The Orangemen coming to the home of the fighting Irish? Don't they know anything about Ulster and the Starry Plow? Of course they beat someone good about as often as we beat Michigan State at home. Give me a W, marching season is over.

Southern Cal: Hey, how come their QB looks like he's played this game before... oh, that's right he beat us at home last year, and we were even wearing our green jerseys and they still beat us like a drum. Gimme the damn L. We're seven and six, Baby!

What! Carquest?!! You're [censored]tin' me! Do you know who you're [censored]in' with? Do you have any idea? Do you even have clue? We're Notre Dame. You give us the Rose Bowl or shove it up your ass, 'cause we're Notre [censored]in' Dame!