Illini Drinking Game

So, first off, let me start todays Blog entry with a hearty [censored] MICHIGAN.



You know, It's been a few games since I have been able to do my drinking games. Clarity doused himself in gas and jumped through a hoop of flame just to get this blog back in the works. This is how important my message has become to the BP readers. I don't know if I can handle all of this responsibility, hell, to be honest, I am not responsible enough to take care of someones hamster... look, I didn't know they don't eat steak, I [censored]ing like steak, that little furball should have too...

So, who here misses our Illibuck trophy? I KNOW I [censored]ING DO. So, this Saturday we have two objectives, the first one, get [censored]ing hammered, the second, after you are hammered it's time to watch the bucks bring the turtle back home.

So, the drinking game for the week!

Supplies: You are going to need a few cases of beer, at least one bottle of beer if the whole case isn't bottled., a bottle of whiskey, a few 1 gallon ziplock baggies and a few straws.
Preperation: put some of that whiskey in a baggie, put in a straw and close it as best you can. Keep it upright, and if you [censored]ing bought [censored]ty bags and it gets all over your couch you need to punch yourself in the nose, and not a light [censored]ing pussy tap, I MEAN [censored]ING PUNISH YOURSELF, YOU [censored]ING ALCOHOL WASTING ASSHOLE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT BOOZE COST ME??? DO YOU??? [censored]ING WASTE MY BOOZE, AND I INVITED YOU TO... oh, sorry, got carried away tehre.


First off, let's make this easy, everytime they mention the debacle last year, you take a sip. I was going to say drink a beer but we'd all be in an ambulance by the end of the first quarter. Riding to the hospital screaming "Why did I listen to that [censored]er, it was the beard that made it sound so reasonable!"

Now, the beer here is a chaser, I want to see a lot of scoring, so you best keep your whiskey filled baggy close to your heart. Everytime the bucks score, it's a three second suck of whiskey through the straw, 7 seconds for a touchdown, use the beer as a chaser. Everything tastes better in a baggy, I mean, when i was younger, what was better, someone giving you that little pinch of weed or giving you a baggie of weed? flawless logic, you argue, you [censored]ing lose because you are WRONG.

Ok, so you know the advantages of the game, I figure it's time to get the downside. Odds are you are 5'9, have no fiends and end every conversation by saying "chow" so we know you are drinking alone. That's why I try to call this a game, playing games alone aren't very fun unless we punish as well as reward.

So, if the Illini take the lead, and you want to come whine to BP, you need to break that bottle off and stab yourself in the leg. You can use the whiskey to clean the wound, but if you waste any you need to [censored]ing punch yourself in the nose.

Let's hope for a fun game and a bucks win, I don't want to get zooked again. To be honest, I have showered like 900 times since the last "zooking" got and I still feel dirty.