Hi, I'm a Confused Pervert

[OCBucksFan]

So, in 50 Minutes we know:

His name: Chase Marzolf
Where he did Junior College: Barton Community College
Where he's currently going to school: Wichitah State
4 Different Email addresses
His facebook
Myspace
That he has really weird tastes in porn.
Nobody ever reads his blog.
He still thinks wrestling is real.
The Yankees and Cubs are going to the world series this year.
And this his family is fat.
And that I signed the same peition as him for Fungus

[shetuck]

Originally Posted by jwinslow

What kind of assistant sits in the middle of the team picture? In Sand?

#00 behind our pal has clearly creamed his shorts. Chaseaphrodite is trying to hide the evidence on the back of his own neck.

[bluechillj]

Originally Posted by shetuck

We also learned that in high school he was probably voted "most likely to throw barrels at little running men in red and blue uniforms."

[OCBucksFan]

Originally Posted by bluechillj

We also learned that in high school he was probably voted "most likely to throw barrels at little running men in red and blue uniforms."

That's what Murda Mace does in his free time.

[shetuck]

Originally Posted by gregorylee

...I AINT LATE MOTHERFUUUUUUUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!

GPA...

[OCBucksFan]

[shetuck]

Just for posterity's sake...

Campus (Wichita State) number at work at the "Sunflower Newspaper"...
Chase Marzolf: (316) 978-6900

[OCBuckWife]

Originally Posted by OCBucksFan

Aw...bunkbeds......................TOP BUNK!

[shetuck]

Hilltopics E-Zine - Barton County Community College

Chase Marzolf is a 2005 graduate of Lakeside High School where he was active in football, basketball, Scholars Bowl and golf. He also was named to the National Honor Roll. He is the son of Mark and Cheryl Marzolf, Glen Elder, and plans to major in communications.

[BUCKYLE]

Originally Posted by shetuck

Just for posterity's sake...

Campus (Wichita State) number at work at the "Sunflower Newspaper"...
Chase Marzolf: (316) 978-6900

I left a message.

[shetuck]

Originally Posted by BUCKYLE

I left a message.

Did you tell him something something blah blah blah... and your mother's a whore?

And did you remind him to drop on by and give us some more lovely pictures of his sisters?

[OCBucksFan]

Originally Posted by shetuck

Did you tell him something something blah blah blah... and your mother's a whore?

And did you remind him to drop on by and give us some more lovely pictures of his sisters?

Hopefully the message went something like "So this guy walks into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but you just got McNeiled on BP"

[OCBucksFan]

Originally Posted by BuckeyeMac

It's like the 2nd coming of Vanilla Ice...

Sports Broadcaster as Occupation? I didn't know they hired wigers

This is actually the second douchebag spammer that was a "sports broadcaster" we've had here.

[generaladm]

I thought it was a shame that our new friend Murda hasn't received any comments on his blog, so I left him one:

The Unbearable Gayness of Being Murda Mace: A Play in One Act

Time: Present day, around 10:00 PM CT

Setting: A sparse dorm room in Witchita, KS, decorated in faux military regalia and Harley-Davidson flare, chosen to cover up the inhabitants latent homosexual tastes towards chicks with dicks.

Murda Mace sits alone in the room, sitting in front of his computer, clad only in a University of Kansas bed sheet. He is alone, as usual, with no fear of his roommate coming home, since said roommate spends every night at his girlfriend's house (or just sleeps in his car) to avoid listening to Murda masturbate to tranny-porn. Murda has concluded his daily ritual of blogging the days professional wrestling happenings, and finds himself restless.

LIGHTS UP

MM: (aloud, since his brain cannot facilitate an inner monologue) Damn, not so much going on in wrestling today. Roomys gone, hanging out with his stupid girlfriend again, so no video games. No point reading up on KU football, since they already lost a game, and I don't care anymore. Stupid Mark Mangino! They got robed last year! What to do?

DISEMBODIED VOICE: (sotto voce) Find an Ohio State discussion board, and talk a bunch of [censored].

MURDA MACE, CONVINCED THAT HE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA ON HIS OWN, TYPES "Ohio State football" INTO GOOGLE.

MM: Hmm...Buckeye Planet. I'll show those fools!

MURDA MACE FILLS OUT THE REGISTRATION FORM USING HIS REAL EMAIL ADDRESS.

MM: Hahahaha...I seen two Ohio State games, and they lost! They can't handle SEC speed! They'd be eighth in the Big 12! Wait till they see what I write! They won't know what to do! I'm half way to a sports broadcasting degree, they won't know what hit them!

MURDA MACE TYPES FERVENTLY INTO KEYBOARD.

MM: I HATE YOU BUCKEYE FAN. DIE OF AIDS!!!! Bwah ha ha ha ha!!!! That'll show 'em!!! Bet they never heard that before!!! Bwah ha ha ha!!! Too bad my roomy isn't here! Stupid girlfriend! That was fun, now back to tranny porn. Should I go to chickswithdicks.com or shemaleforsale.com...


THERE IS A FLASH OF BRILLIANT LIGHT BEHIND MURDA MACE. MURDA SPINS AROUND IN HIS CHAIR TO FIND HIMSELF FACE TO FACE WITH A TRANSLUCENT FIGURE WITH A ROUND, BROWN FACE, FEATURING A CHEESY GOATEE, AND SPECTACLES, CLAD ONLY IN A PITTSBURGH UNIVERSITY BED SHEET, SITTING ON THE EDGE OF THE BED.

MM: (loud gasp) MARK MAY!!!

GHOSTLY MARK MAY: Yes, my son.

MM: Oh my God! I can't believe it's you!

GMM: Wherever there is simpleminded hatred for Ohio State, I will be there.

MM: I hate them so much, and I don't even know why!

GMM: You hate them because they are the most overrated football team in the country. Desptie the fact that they are the second best team in college football over the past decade. You hate them, because even though your favorite team has only had one decent season in your lifetime, they are the only reason that Kansas has not played for a national championship every year. Embrace the hate. Feed off it.

MM: (weeping) I knew it! I knew it!

GMM: Terrelle Pryor has yet to be tested. He will fail. He must pay for his self absorbed attitude during the recruiting process.

MM: (weeping) I hate Terrelle Pryor! He wouldn't even be the eighth best QB in the Big 12 this year!

GMM: You must hate him, and everything associated with Ohio State. It is the only thing that validates my existence. I must go now.

MM: Oh, Mark May! If only you had both a penis and vagina!

GMM: I do.

MM: I love you.

GMM: I love myself.

MM: Don't go!

GMM: I must. But I will return whenever you spread ignorant anti-Ohio State bile.

MM: I will honor you!

GMM: I love myself.

THERE IS A FLASH OF LIGHT AS GHOSTLY MARK MAY DISAPPEARS. MURDA MACE WEEPS.

THE ROOMATE ENTERS TO GRAB A CHANGE OF CLOTHES, AND TURNS ON THE LIGHT.

ROOMY: Godamnit, Chase! What the [censored]!!!

MM: I just took a shower! Leave me alone!

MURDA MACE RUNS INTO THE BATHROOM, AND LOCKS THE DOOR. LIGHTS FADE TO THE SOUND OF MURDA MACE WEEPING.

FIN.

Ah, [censored]! It said it's subject to "blog owner approval"! Well, at least it's saved for prosperity. At least he'll get the message. Bets on how long before his blog disappears? I'll try again tomorrow.

[gemsweater]

Originally Posted by generaladm

I thought it was a shame that our new friend Murda hasn't received any comments on his blog, so I left him one:



Ah, [censored]! It said it's subject to "blog owner approval"! Well, at least it's saved for prosperity. At least he'll get the message. Bets on how long before his blog disappears? I'll try again tomorrow.

GPA