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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 04-11-2005, 03:15 PM
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Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

"This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."

"Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"

"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

"I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

"I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."

"Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

"The coffee machine is broken..."

"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

" ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 04-11-2005, 03:50 PM
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Not really on target with the topic, but falling sleep at work reminded me of this one.

I used to work with another engineer (a Canadian dude; not that it matters, but I thought it was worth mentioning) who was about 10 years past when he should've retired. Seriously, he was like 74 or something. Anyway, he couldn't get through the day without a lengthy nap after lunch. Just when he'd start snoring really loudly, we'd dial his phone, then transfer him to another clueless person within the company. Sometimes it was a lady in sales who no one really liked. Both people's phones would ring and they'd both answer thinking the other one called them. Of course, he was just jolted out of a sound sleep for it, so he'd be all dazed and confused and she'd be [censored]ed because she thought this stupid, confused old man was calling her for no apparent reason. Other times we'd transfer him to his own voicemail or local businesses like Lowe's or the mall or something. Good times......
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:48 PM
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anybody else conk out in the bathroom for a full hour after a sleepless or near sleepless night? ..............well i have, and everybody knows it, but nobody says anything, it's a chillingly silent walk back to your desk
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Old 04-11-2005, 04:58 PM
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...
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back in high school... Bob Lisek is sound asleep next to me... I barked in a whisper... "Bob.. Bob... page 246.. first paragraph.." .. so Bob jumps up, quickly gets it together.. and starts reading aloud...

teacher looks at him like he has two heads.. Bob says "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention... I'm not sure where we're at" .. teacher says "apparently"...

the motto... don't pull this on kids that can punch as hard as Bob Lisek...
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Old 04-11-2005, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MistriBuck
anybody else conk out in the bathroom for a full hour after a sleepless or near sleepless night? ..............well i have, and everybody knows it, but nobody says anything, it's a chillingly silent walk back to your desk
You sure they didn't all think you were so full of [censored] that it just took you that long?
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Old 04-11-2005, 11:48 PM
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I'd rather be napping!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckeyeBill73
You sure they didn't all think you were so full of [censored] that it just took you that long?

I am quite sure that never crossed anyones mind.
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Old 04-12-2005, 08:44 AM
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there's no dollar sign on a piece of mind
 
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i used to work a job that was 2nd shift on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, followed by a day shift on saturday where you did nothing but sit in a room and pray the the phone to ring so you had something to fix. after about 6 months, i began to bring in a TV, after another month or so, my xbox with my tv, well one day, i was watching some tv, fell asleep, and i get startled by the door bell, at the door stands my boss, he needed something from his office and thought he would stop in to shoot the [censored]...

i thought for sure i was done, 21 yrs old, sleeping on the job, ect. he looks around and notices the tv and the xbox....pulls up a chair and we played ncaa football for like 2 hours!!!
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Old 04-12-2005, 09:14 AM
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I'd rather be napping!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iambrutus
i used to work a job that was 2nd shift on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, followed by a day shift on saturday where you did nothing but sit in a room and pray the the phone to ring so you had something to fix. after about 6 months, i began to bring in a TV, after another month or so, my xbox with my tv, well one day, i was watching some tv, fell asleep, and i get startled by the door bell, at the door stands my boss, he needed something from his office and thought he would stop in to shoot the [censored]...

i thought for sure i was done, 21 yrs old, sleeping on the job, ect. he looks around and notices the tv and the xbox....pulls up a chair and we played ncaa football for like 2 hours!!!

What the hell Brutus, were you a "Maytag Man"?
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Old 04-12-2005, 10:25 AM
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helpdesk for a small hospital on a saturday....the maytag man is much busier than i was there
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Old 04-12-2005, 06:17 PM
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And so it goes........
 
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"Sorry (insert Boss's name here), your wife had me up all night".
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Old 07-04-2009, 10:16 PM
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How to sleep at work!



Your boss will think that you are so hard working while you are actually dreaming about hot sexy chicks from Thailand. Just make sure don?t drool on any important work documents!
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Old 07-04-2009, 10:30 PM
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GO BUCKS!
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Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.
Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.Deety is enlightened in the ways of the Buckeye.
Uh-oh. Script found the keys to the time machine again.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 07-04-2009, 11:53 PM
Jake's Avatar
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Jake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'Shoe
Jake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'Shoe
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Originally Posted by ScriptOhio View Post


Your boss will think that you are so hard working while you are actually dreaming about hot sexy chicks from Thailand. Just make sure don?t drool on any important work documents!
Walking around with a cut like that is a high price to pay for laziness.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 07-05-2009, 01:32 AM
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elliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP poster
elliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP posterelliemae is a revered BP poster
Last week at the flea market I bought tomatoes & the dude was putting them from the basket to the bag & then slower & then he stops & his eyes were closed & his hand was feeling for tomatoes where there were no more & then snapped out of it & said" I'm glad I don't have to drive"!
My friend & I were a little freaked & agreed with him.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 07-05-2009, 10:42 AM
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Jake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'Shoe
Jake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'ShoeJake is a legend of The 'Shoe
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemae View Post
Last week at the flea market I bought tomatoes & the dude was putting them from the basket to the bag & then slower & then he stops & his eyes were closed & his hand was feeling for tomatoes where there were no more & then snapped out of it & said" I'm glad I don't have to drive"!
My friend & I were a little freaked & agreed with him.
Was this guy really, really fat?
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