Best Jokes (merged)

[NJ-Buckeye]

Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

[utgrad73]

Flat Tire

Two guys were taking a chemistry class at the University of Alabama. They were doing well in the class and thought that going into the final with a solid "A." They were so confident that the weekend before finals week, they went to the University of Tennessee to party with some friends. They had a great time. However, because they had hangovers, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Alabama until early Monday morning, the day of the exam.

Rather than taking the final, they found their professor after it was over and explained why they missed the final. They told him that they went to the University of Tennessee for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but had a flat tire on the way back. Since they didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time, they were late in getting back to campus. The professor told them they could make up the final on the following day. They were elated and relieved.

The next day, the professor placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

The first problem, worth five points, was something simple about Molarity & Solutions.

"Cool," they both thought. "This is going to be easy."

The next problem was worth 95 points. It said, "Which tire?"

[BuckeyeMac]

utgrad, that is AWESOME!!!

[MightbeaBuck]

ScriptOhio said it better: http://www.buckeyeplanet.com/forum/1...-post1133.html (Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this!)
but Best Buckeye said it more recently!
The real question is, who will say it again next month?

[LitlBuck]

> Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower:
> > Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. > > > >
As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls >
Off the tower and is killed instantly. > >
As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, > >
'Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife.' >
> Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive> stuff, I'll do it. >
> > 'Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of> Budweiser. > >
> Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?'> '
> > Cooter's wife gave it to me,' Ronnie replies.> >
'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband> was > Dead and she gave you beer?' > > Well, not exactly', Donnie says.

> 'When she answered the door, I said to her, > >
You must be Cooter's widow'.' > >
She said, 'You must be mistaken, I'm not a> widow.'

> > Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you> are.'

[JCOSU86]

A woman gets in an elevator in a very tall building and presses the button for the top floor. After a few floors, a shabby looking man in a black trenchcoat gets in. The woman out of the corner of her eye notices him staring at her with a perverted look on his face. She started easing away from him when he asked her "Can I smell your pussy?". With great indignation she replied "Uh, no". The doors opened to the man's floor and as he was getting off turned to her and said, "Must be your feet, then"

[OCBucksFan]

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, “You see, it’s like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it’s sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ………… so does she.”