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07-05-2004, 11:09 PM
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turn your head and cough
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Sleeping on the couch...AKA [censored]ed off wife
Warning: Do not try this at home!!!
Now before I start let me explain that I have a very beautiful wife. She's tall, relatively thin (about 125 - 135 I would guess), and brunette. But she has given birth and it has had its effect. Also my wife has no sense of humor about certain things, her looks being at the top of that list. I take her and our daughter to the beach and we're having a great time. After a couple of hours two fine young blond women who resemble the woman pictured above set up shop right beside us. I can tell that my wife isn't pleased at all with this. She gets kind of quiet and starts walking around with her belly sucked in (I thought only guys did that). After a while I figure I would have some fun with this. Both of the girls next to us are blonde so I ask my wife "Have you ever thought about dying your hair blonde?" NO!! she snapped back. I figured I better drop it for a while. After about a half hour or so I notice the finer of the two young ladies beside us has a blue thong on that was amazing. So I ask my wife "Have you ever thought about getting a blue bikini? Her face turned about three shades of red and she asks "Why do you all of a sudden like blue, is there a reason you'd like to share?" Since my daughter was with us I figured I'd better drop it. Unfortunately, It was already too late. Long story short, she got [censored]ed. I tried to tell her that I was just joking. That just seemed to [censored] her off more and now I'm camping out on the couch and she's not talking to me. At least I'll be able to catch up on recruiting.
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Leave the Artillerymen alone, they are an obstinate lot
Napoleon
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07-05-2004, 11:15 PM
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Minister of Silly Walks
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Women...
Can't live with em...
Chaff like crazy without em.
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07-05-2004, 11:27 PM
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Capo Regime
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Reason #36876487687637687628768 why I refuse to get married...The loss of public commentary on little blue thongs is too much
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Oderint dum metuant.
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07-05-2004, 11:28 PM
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The World's Favorite Hobo
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sounds like something that I would do. Good luck getting out of the dog house!!
You ever move to Arizona?
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07-05-2004, 11:29 PM
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I give up. This board is too hard to understand.
Senior Moderator
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My wife has no sense of humor. I keep telling her that I need to get her one for her birthday or Christmas.... she doesn't find that funny either. When we fight she leaves and sleeps in the guest room and I get to stay in our bedroom... but then I get the silent treatment for a day or so 
good luck KSB
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Google won't search for James Laurinaitis because it knows you don't find James Laurinaitis, he finds you.
The IQ of the planet is a fixed constant. The population is increasing
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07-06-2004, 01:37 AM
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Banned
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I'll get the silent treatment from time to time. When I first figure out she's mad and giving me the silent treatment I'll ask her what's the matter. She'll give me the infamous high toned "nothing", which should be followed by the sound of a Rattlesnake's rattle because I'm backing away at that point.
In all honesty, I've got a fantastic wife that loves OSU football.
Ya can't ask for much more than that. 
Oiler
Your post reminds me of the "Cheers" episode in which they are sitting around the bar talking and Norm says:
Women, can't live with'em...and......pass the beer nuts.
Last edited by ashlandbuck; 07-06-2004 at 02:39 AM.
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07-06-2004, 02:35 AM
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Nonplussed
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That's almost as stupid as some of the things I've said to girlfriends. lol
One of the worst was one night in bed when the ex was nagging me about something and I accidentally called her "mom". It was a total slip, and to make things even worse, I started laughing so hard that I was crying, and kept laughing for a full five minutes.
Another time, she's getting undressed (this is a gal who wore nothing but Victoria's Secret stuff) and for some reason, she's got these granny panties on that are definitely NOT VS. So I blurt out, "Damn! Those are some BIG panties!" "WHAT did you say?!?!" "Oh [censored]. I'm in trouble, aren't I?", followed by me laughing hysterically again.
Never wound up on the couch, though. 
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-Mark
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07-06-2004, 02:52 AM
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Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
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Kudos to you, KSB. It may suck to be camping out in the living room, but at least you have maintained a certain degree of dignity and manhood in [censored]ing off your wife, which is more than can be said for a certain best friend of mine. That guy pawned he balls when he got married. He gets in trouble for wearing the wrong t-shirt and tells his wife "he's sorry" every other sentence. He's now the "proud" owner of a chihuahua.
Let's face it, in this situation, it simply would've been wrong for you to not do what you did. You don't get an opportunity like that every day. You acted like an asshole, and I respect you for it. If it takes something like that to get your wife to kick you out of bed, it sounds like you have a pretty good wife and a healthy relationship.
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Ohio State versus M*ch*g*n trumps everything. It trumps your record. It trumps whether it's dangerous or you don't have a chance or any of those kinds of things. It trumps all things because it's the Ohio State-M*ch*g*n game. And I would like to think our guys understand that, but there's only one demonstration of understanding that and that's at 12:00 noon on Saturday.
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