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09-20-2004, 02:25 PM
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Lunchmeat Poll
This week's Top 5 (applying our patented and undisclosable polling formulae):
1. Turkey 2. Turkey Pastrami 3. Roast Beef (after a thorough domination of SEC favorite, Pulled Pork) 4. Corned Beef 5. Pimento Cheese (breaking into the big league with a waxing of ham; who says you have to be meat to compete? PCU says "We'll beat any meat.")          
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09-20-2004, 02:36 PM
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Last year, opposing DL feasted on "Olivea Loaf"...
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09-20-2004, 02:38 PM
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Some thoughts:
Turkey Pastrami is a sham and will be exposed as such when they go up against Corned Beef later this year. I know Corned Beef gets the best ingredients year after year and still manages to spoil after it's been out a while, but this year is different. They will show Turkey Pastrami that real Pastrami is made without harming a single hokie. Was anyone else as surprised as I am to see Roast Beef on this list? Heck of a year for Beef (Roast, Corned, even Canned is doing well) Is it just me or is Swiss Cheese a strange team? Even I could run with the holes on offense, but the Swiss Cheese Defense is terrible. Lastly, don't count out Pork. Everybody forgets about the "other" white meat, but while Turkey's offense will put you to sleep and the Meat Chicken has all kinds of problems... Pork is exciting and fun. Although their fans are annoying with the pork chop, etc. Last edited by BuckeyeInTheBoro; 09-20-2004 at 02:43 PM.
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09-20-2004, 02:56 PM
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i can't believe no one is talking about bologna here....i know they are stuck working with the leftovers from the other elite teams like the beef, pastrami, turkey and meat chicken....but look what they do with it....im telling you...pound for pound it is the best one out there....
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09-20-2004, 03:07 PM
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Flying under the radar and with a chance to do some damage, thanks to the playoff system, is Scrapple. That's right folks, the part of the pig that went over the fence last. Scrappy U. players say, "Hey, we've got nothing to lose. We'll play loose while the other teams' sphincters tighten." The other traditional powers in the Pig League like Ham get more publicity, but Scrapple is in there year after year with players regarded as left-overs and scraps competing at the highest levels. They're not just chopped liver.
Also, whomever gave me the negative ding and called me a dork, anonymously, because of the lunchmeat poll, it didn't drop me any points. Keep dinging away, Donny and friends.
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09-20-2004, 03:26 PM
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Salami, salami, salami!!! Although currently unranked, be very careful about looking past salami in any upcoming meetings. Salami is slippery (some say greasy) and can be very difficult to contain. Frequently overlooked, salami is used to the underdog status, and uses that as motivation. (In your best Italian accent imitation) "They always give-a us da shaft when it comes to da pollz. We a-gonna surprise some-a you this year. Maybe next time we play, you don't play so good. You know what I mean?"
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09-20-2004, 03:31 PM
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 Must be a bye-week Great stuff, guys. 
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09-20-2004, 03:35 PM
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Spam. 'nuff said.
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09-20-2004, 03:45 PM
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Americ'n lunch meat is crrap... Haggus is th' only true lunch meat!
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09-20-2004, 03:47 PM
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This isn't the Ryder Cup, bitb. According to the scientific, sacred and non-quantifiable polling formulae, only 'Mericans get ta play. Bloody, fokkin' Yanks.
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09-20-2004, 03:53 PM
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Look at all these polls: There's a clear Turkey bias. It seems like you need to be at the table on Thanksgiving or else you're in a lot of trouble. Look at this, not one single pig product on the list. I mean, we SAW what processed ham could do last week. And bacon was sizzling. If Bacon can make it to the regional cookout with just one defeat--they should get to the BCS (Bountiful Coricoupia of Snacks) championship before a cheese. There's no way we won't see sweeping changes in our cookout system if a non grill-friendly product wins a COOKOUT series. I can't wait to see a playoff implimented.
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09-20-2004, 03:55 PM
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Quote:
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09-20-2004, 04:00 PM
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the problem i have with Turkey Pastrami is with the people that swear by the stuff.....by far and away the most annoying "connoisseur's" of lunch meat in the country....they think they know everything and are most obnoxious when their team is doing well.....Turkey Pastrami has the most bandwagon and fair-weather supporters of anyone.....man i hate those pastradomers....
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09-20-2004, 04:01 PM
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I have found that, other than Pastrami, there is only one meat that is enough of a total package as not to require any additional toppings:
Braunschweiger!!! Braunschweiger will have its day. It is time for it to take down the majors. . .
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