Writer of sitcom "Two and a Half Men" uses airtime as public diary

[shetuck]

WSJ: Hit TV Writer Has Brief Message for His Viewers

Hit TV Writer Has Brief Message For His Viewers

It Only Lasts a Second, But Stirs the Airwaves; Mr. Lorre's Beer Apology

By KATHERINE ROSMAN
May 14, 2008; Page A1

Some of the most provocative writing on broadcast television can be found on CBS on Monday nights. It airs for a combined duration of about two seconds.

The writing comes in the form of what many in the industry call "vanity cards" -- an image flashed on the screen at the end of a TV show. Usually, the cards just identify a show's creator or production company. But Chuck Lorre -- a writer and executive producer of the sitcoms "Two and a Half Men" and "The Big Bang Theory" -- uses the airtime as a public diary.

Shown at about 8:29 p.m. and 9:29 p.m. Eastern time, his Chuck Lorre Productions vanity cards feature an essay -- usually about 100 to 200 words -- on subjects such as meddling network executives, Hollywood culture and his own family drama. The messages can't be read in full as they air, because they're shown so briefly, but they can be read by viewers who have DVR technology with a pause button on their remote control. The cards have attracted a cult following, as well as the attention of network executives.

In one recent message, the 55-year-old Mr. Lorre wrote: "I received a phone call from a mid-level CBS exec who began the conversation by saying he wanted to give me a head's up. Having been in this business a while I knew 'head's up' is code for 'we've decided to s- you.'"

In a message to his late father, Mr. Lorre wrote, "I want to apologize for despising you for reasons I still don't understand."

Another card says: "Don't hug men while shaking their hand. Enough already with that. The shake/hug (shug?) is probably something Roman guys did when their empire was in decline."

Mr. Lorre says, "My vanity cards are like liner notes on an album."

The network reviews each one before it airs, and has censored three of the last 40 cards. A CBS spokesman said those cards "didn't meet our broadcast standards," but declined to be more specific. "I've always had the character flaw of wanting to bite the hand that feeds," Mr. Lorre says.

The hand admits to being a bit sore. "I get a kick out of most of -- most of -- what he does at the end of the show," says Leslie Moonves, president and chief executive of CBS Corp. "If someone wants to give me two hit television shows, they won't hear from me -- except for when I'm going to get in trouble with the FCC."

cont'd...

[Folanator]

"Don't hug men while shaking their hand. Enough already with that. The shake/hug (shug?) is probably something Roman guys did when their empire was in decline."

Truer words have never been spoken.

[exhawg]

As long as CBS doesn't cancel 'How I Met Your Mother' to add another one of this guys shows that I don't watch I don't have a problem with it. That's the only CBS show I watch other than sports.

[shetuck]

I had not idea about these - probably because I don't watch his shows, but... some of his vanity cards are pretty funny (in a sarcastic / tongue-in-cheek way).

Chuck Lorre's official Vanity Card Archives

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #199

Tonight's episode was about Charlie being drugged and imprisoned by his stalker, Rose. In addition, we did jokes about nasal spray being an effective aid for love-making, a young boy's desire to go to a strip bar, a mother cavalierly assuming that her son has some sort of third-world venereal disease, a Korean woman suffocating from the toxic fumes she inhales painting the toe nails of a "white she-bitch," stalking the British Royal Family, a woman holding a man's penis while he urinates, two men being interrupted while defecating, suppositories as a barbiturate delivery system, and finally, a hooker used to purposely transmit a viral infection. But the joke that we could not put in the show tonight, the one comic moment that CBS Broadcast Standards absolutely refused to bend on, was a harmless bit of word play which required the mention of a name-brand hard liquor. When I asked why, I was told it's against CBS corporate policy. I desperately wanted a drink.

1st Aired: 24 Mar 2008