Relations who are of different religious beliefs and social conventions

[Gatorubet]

Originally Posted by OCBuckWife

That, exactly, is the problem. I am well aware that a lot of Christian religions emphasize this, even sometimes requiring a certain amount of time spent doing missions. I do try to keep that in mind. But it is probably the largest issue I have with Christian religions. This ....pushing....of the message. I HATE it when people knock on my door to give me a pamphlet or ask me to join them at church.

Keeping that in mind, I do still understand when even relatives do it but I expect more of them in the response part. If I ask a loved one to please stop doing something, I expect them to stop doing it, out of mutual respect for one another, out of love that we share, and our mutual rights to our own beliefs. When that doesn't occur is when I get upset.

We asked them to keep the religion out of our house. They gave us books about religion while visiting our house for Christmas.

We asked them to stop inviting us to church and their bible study group, after we politely went once (her wedding shower was also her bible study group) and had nothing but awkward silences and conversations and they asked us when we were coming back.

The "I will pray for you" stuff is, to be honest, a very mild annoyance. That is, until I found out, really neither of them say it in conversation to my husband (it's his biological brother.) That gave me pause and caused me to start this topic.

I mean, I don't THINK I am doing anything different than anyone else. I'm calmly explaining my opinions and desires, I stay silent rather than be snarky more often than not and I know I have gotten my point across due to her reactions to me as mentioned above. Thus far, I think I have done everything everyone has suggested. Maybe it's just his brother, being a recent convert and all, being that much more zealous for now.

Here, Scientology can be your friend.

[OCBuckWife]

Originally Posted by AKAKBUCK

Liquor.

Heh, yep, got that covered too. They don't drink, but I bring beer with me when I visit. At least they aren't the type to disallow it in the house if they don't imbibe. *whew*

[Bucklion]

Originally Posted by BUCKYLE

Yeah, we already knew that.

[Bucky Katt]

Originally Posted by jwinslow

The biggest problem is that many Christians feel compelled to spread the Gospel and:

a) Forget to 'love our neighbor' while doing so. The quest takes precedence and can become more of a target than a friend. It's done with the right intentions but wrong approach.

b) Do it the way we've seen others do it or how we feel compelled to do it. Most people have very different gifts/skills, in terms of empathy, communication, speaking, listening, etc... the "life of the party" might be great at sharing or speaking in front of a group, but terrible at relating to people 1v1 and being sensitive to someone's feelings, space, beliefs, needs.
The discomfort of such comments is common between Christians as well. That last line is quite popular and quite misguided/misinterpreted, at least in the American sense of "good" & "rewarded." ("Health and Wealth")

This kind of thing pops up with illnesses as well. I've dealt with this from relatives, including one who was healed fairly miraculously. Two other family members were suffering with a similar affliction, and so of course the healed relative would always insist that they needed to pray more, better, differently, etc. It's the same misguided preaching that Job got in the Old Testament when Murphy's Law was working overtime. "Clearly you aren't right with God, in your prayers or otherwise... he wouldn't do this to you."

Originally Posted by Taosman

I couldn't have said it better, Josh!

Taosman and jwins in agreement. I can't believe the server hasn't exploded.

[MaxBuck]

Originally Posted by OCBuckWife

The "I will pray for you" stuff is, to be honest, a very mild annoyance. That is, until I found out, really neither of them say it in conversation to my husband ...

Hey, people say that to me all the time, and never to my wife. What's the prob?

[Gatorubet]

Tell them you worship Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, the ruler of Lower Heck.

[OCBuckWife]

Originally Posted by Gatorubet

Tell them you worship Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, the ruler of Lower Heck.

I am partial to my god-like plate of sentient spaghetti and meatballs. Wish-fulfillment deliciousness!

[jimotis4heisman]

Originally Posted by Bucky Katt

Taosman and jwins in agreement. I can't believe the server hasn't exploded.

actually it was just bkb...

[BUCKYLE]

Originally Posted by OCBuckWife

I am partial to my god-like plate of sentient spaghetti and meatballs. Wish-fulfillment deliciousness!

Check out the meatballs on that chick!

[Buckeyeskickbuttocks]

Originally Posted by jimotis4heisman

actually it was just bkb...

The rumors of my exploding have been greatly exaggerated.

[jimotis4heisman]

Originally Posted by Buckeyeskickbuttocks

The rumors of my exploding have been greatly exaggerated.

link?

[muffler dragon]

I've had a plethora of experiences with friends and family. I believe that some of these experiences overlap what you're going through. Without getting into my baggage, here are some options:

1) End any and all communication.
2) If 1) is not a possibility; then make sure that you're maintaining your sphere of comfort regardless of someone else's feelings.
3) Send them my way for a discussion.

I've become numb enough to have in-depth theological discussions that I don't rely on the emotional fire to keep me going. I just keep bullet-pointing the "cold hard facts" as some might say. Once it gets through the noggin that neither side is budging; then acquiescence to a common understanding can be made.

I've had to take my father, mother, sister and close friends to task for their flippant and condescending remarks. Once they saw that I was ready to tango over the matter (figuratively and literally), they dropped it from subsequent conversations. In short, I was ready to walk away for good. It was up to them to determine whether they wanted to have a relationship where I was going to dictate how I was talked to and treated.

My best wishes to you regardless.

[Gatorubet]

And send them a "Blessed Be" card on all of the vernal equinox and solstice holidays.

[Apache]

Originally Posted by Gatorubet

And send them a "Blessed Be" card on all of the vernal equinox and solstice holidays.

Ive got a cousin. She is totally serious about her beliefs. We were raised Catholic. She was a tremendous substance abuser. I feel sorry because she has burnt a few million synapses out. She has gone from one kick to the next. Now she poo poos use when we have wine or a few cocktails with dinner or parties. Her latest kick is a re-born again and again religious saint-hood. But I know she secretly still smokes the ganja. (sp)

The worst part is the holier than thou attitude.

I mentioned that and the smoke. Convenient lapse of reality.

[Taosman]

Many people need to believe in something. And church is a social thing too. A lot of good happens in church, it's this "chosen people" dogma that causes a lot of problems on the outside. People kill over it. Fundamentalism has become bigger. Which preaches a lack of tolerance.
We need to find some sort of balance in our lives between belief and daily life. Maybe we need to be more "spiritual" and less religious.