So alright--I'll allow that Travis Hafner's positional status as a designated hitter can sometimes obscure the general fan's view of his offensive dominance. I will also concede that Ozzie Guillen - as the manager of the reigning world champions - has earned every bit of leeway in regards to filling out his American League All-Star roster. I'm even willing to say that Hafner's opponents in the recent gimmick election (the 'Final Vote' a.k.a. excuse for sponsor exposure) were all players worthy of All-Star consideration. I'm definitely not saying that Hafner is leaps and bounds ahead of Liriano in terms of having a phenomenal season. I think
both men deserve to play in Pittsburgh. Liriano, though, has just one person at whom he should direct his ire, and it's...
<p><img align=left border="1" Hspace="4" Vspace="2" src="http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/65x90/6285.jpg">...this asshole. Mark Redman. This stiff has as many walks as he does strikeouts, has just five wins on the season, and sports a stunningly poor ERA (5.59) and hit/walk ratio (1.51)--at least in relation to other All-Stars. A lot of people have dogged the 'one player from every team' rule, so I'm not going to beleaguer the point. In fact, that's not even why I'm writing this right now. I'm writing this because of...<p>
<p><img align=left border="1" Hspace="4" Vspace="2" src="http://espn.go.com/i/mlb/profiles/players/65x90/5909.jpg">...this asshole. David Ortiz. Now before every Red Sox fan on this board starts throwing things, consider this: Hafner's numbers - as of today - are superior to those of David Ortiz. This fact is irrefutable. Hafner trails Ortiz by three home runs and six RBI, but also has 37 fewer ABs. Other than that, 'Big Papi' is dominated. Hafner is first in the AL in walks, first in OBP, first in slugging, and first in OPS. He's currently hitting .318, good for tenth in the league and
forty-four points higher than Ortiz.
<p>Now, in all fairness, the Red Sox are having the better season. But this isn't an MVP race. This is the All-Star game. Just like the Pro Bowl is to football, the All-Star game is supposed to feature the most
statistically dominant players in the game. Nobody should be able to say with a straight face that Ortiz is having a better year as a hitter than Hafner. Not one person. But then, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Ortiz was not voted in by the players. He wasn't placed on the roster by Guillen. He was voted in by the one and only group of participants involved in this process that is utterly unqualified to do so. The [censored]ing fans. The unwashed throng of mindless assheads who don't really 'watch baseball' so much as 'follow their team'. Hey, I follow the Indians. Love 'em. But I can also
read numbers. And not only can I
read them, I can compare them, analyze them, and decipher - in baseball terms - which ones are better to have.
Alright, whatever. I'm done. The good news, I suppose, is that from everything Hafner has said, he doesn't seem to care much about missing out on another All-Star game (yes, he should have been there last year, too). I did, however, really like his alternative to the 'Final Vote' nonsense. I believe what he said was something like, "They should put all five of us [Hafner, Pierzynski, Liriano, Verlander and Hernandez] in a steel cage and whoever comes out on top goes to Pittsburgh." At 6-3/240, my money is on Hafner picking up Liriano and beating the other three men to death.
EDIT: Three typos and two poorly worded phrases. This is why you should never write in anger.
Ohio-The greatest state of them all 
