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Tailor-made for an LSUFreek redux:

YouTube - Maple Leaf Rag Played by Scott Joplin

Give me another hour or so. Some of this shit is hard to find. Hell, I had to google a couple of em just to figure out what y'all's talkin about. I'm still tryin to find a vet who's got that much K. And I am not bringing a goddamn pony. I don't do that shit. And I'm certainly not measuring it's...

Yo, you mother fuckers need to quit blowin up my phone! "You have 43 new messages in your voice mailbox" Can't y'all just make a list and text it? Shit! And tell Grove-dog he only needs to call once. I told that mofo a thousand times, if I don't answer it means I'm fuckin busy! And, if this is...

Hate to be the one to break it to you, funboy, but those "skirts" you and Dewey are always bragging about picking up at the "Rainbow Lounge" keep their bloomers on for a reason. I thought I told you to go fuck your mother. Yo, I'll be back soon with some real shit. All this snow holdin me...

That's cause motherfuckers don't want some old queer sneaking up behind them and tickling their balls when they got a bitch bent over a desk. You're just lucky Andy Jack didn't have his walkin stick when you pulled that shit on him. That was a hell of a shiner he laid on you, though. I've never...

Yeah, I bet when you guys hit the town together it's like a nuclear powered pussy magnet. Nice pic, do you comb your hair with buttered toast? Nah man, I don't mess with that trailer park shit. Go lookin in the gay boards for a guy named Ted Haggard, I hear he's in to that. Hell, he'll...

The White Shadow

You've obviously never been stuck in a kitchen with Fred Douglas for an entire night. I'm trying to catch a buzz, and he's droning on and on about how slavery is unconstitutional. He needs to be tellin it to that bitch Buchanan, not me. Then, Lincoln comes in and tries to grab my package...

Dammit, I should have known when your number came up on my pager you were just lookin for weed! How bout inviting me to the party for once? And I mean to actually party, not just roll a few Js, then it's, "Hey, Dred, have you met Frederick Douglas? I'm sure you two will have lots to talk...

Yeah, ol' Nat was a hoot! Way ahead of his time. Half of Samuel L. Jackson's lines in Pulp Fiction came directly from Nat. I remember when the judge told Nat he was being sentenced to death by hanging, Nat just rolled his eyes and was like, "You mean to tell me it's the same sentence for...

Yeah, you ain't just whistlin Dixie.....Cracker-ass-mother...

Pretty hard to corrupt someone who makes the Supreme Court do all his dirty work for him, isn't it? Don't you have some letters to write, Jerk?