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- Thread starter djtidebuck
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gregorylee
I'd rather be napping!!
Well ifn ya can't beat em.....
Here's the story of a lovely lady,
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.
Here's the story, of a man named Brady,
Who was busy with three boys of his own.
They were four men, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,
And they knew that it was much more than a hunch.
That this group would somehow form a family.
That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch, The Brady Bunch.
That's the way we became the Brady Bunch.
Yes, I am a dick
Here's the story of a lovely lady,
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.
Here's the story, of a man named Brady,
Who was busy with three boys of his own.
They were four men, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow,
And they knew that it was much more than a hunch.
That this group would somehow form a family.
That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch, The Brady Bunch.
That's the way we became the Brady Bunch.
Yes, I am a dick
Upvote
0
Back on topic.
WASHINGTON, DC—A new videotape of Osama bin Laden broadcast on the Arab satellite news channel Al-Jazeera Monday beseeched Allah to grant all Americans a "crappy Valentine's Day."
Above: Bin Laden tears up a "putrid Western Valentine's Day trifle" during his videotaped message.
"This Feb. 14th on the Western infidels' calendar, may all Americans receive no valentines from their beloved ones," bin Laden said. "May the homemade construction-paper mailboxes taped to the desks of the American schoolchildren remain empty, as well. May whomever you ask to 'bee yours' tell you to 'buzz off.'"
Bin Laden called for "romantic humiliation for all Americans of courting and betrothal age."
"Allah willing, embarrassment and tearful rejection shall rule this day," bin Laden said. "Paper hearts shall be rent and trod upon, and dreams of love delivered stillborn. Body language shall be misinterpreted, crushes unrequited, and sincere expressions of affection mocked. Invitations to dinner will be rejected, just as Americans have rejected Allah, the one true God."
During a speech before the Oklahoma Cattlemen's Association, President Bush condemned the al-Qaeda leader's remarks.
"[Bin Laden's] sinister call for romantic disappointment on Valentine's Day is yet another demonstration of the ruthless hatred this evil individual harbors for the American way of life," Bush said. "He directs rage at even our youngest and most innocent citizens, asking God to quash children's joy by making them receive, and I quote, 'only unwanted valentines bearing the laughable likenesses of out-of-favor pop-culture icons from the recent past, such as the Backstreet Boys and the creatures from Monsters, Inc.'"
"Bin Laden's depravity knows no bounds," Bush added.
According to state officials, bin Laden demonstrated an uncanny knowledge of Valentine's Day customs, in spite of the fact that the holiday is not celebrated in the Arab world. In addition to his allusions to classroom valentines, bin Laden cited heart-shaped candies, valentine personal ads in free alternative weeklies, and foot massages.
"In this infamous February, may all American hearts be crushed like a box of conversation hearts that is tossed carelessly into the bottom of a fellow student's schoolbag," bin Laden said. "We soldiers of Allah pledge with our blood and souls that all pink and red carnations shall wither and drop from their stalks before they make their way to the desks of America's secretaries. Instead of receiving hugs and kisses, they and their extended families shall be besieged with boos and hisses."
Bin Laden added: "May your special Valentine's Day dinner be spent at an overrated restaurant that impoverishes your purse and leaves your stomach churning with indigestible Western cuisine."
Bin Laden did not overlook the innocuous custom of giving stuffed animals as gifts.
"The teddy bear that holds the 'I love you' heart does not love you at all," Bin Laden said. "It is an unliving, unholy thing filled only with stuffing. Just as the Western infidel is not bestowed with the blessings of Allah, so shall he go unloved by the false bear."
The release of the bin Laden tape is consistent with the al-Qaeda leader's inclination to speak out before major American events, such as the 2004 U.S. presidential election.
"Perhaps whoever told bin Laden about Valentine's Day exaggerated its significance," departing Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge said. "Or, I don't know, maybe he was just itching to release another tape."
The Department of Homeland Security did not raise the terror advisory, recommending that Americans proceed with their Valentine's Day plans. This is in spite of the final words of bin Laden's address.
"Come Monday, as you pry open your fancy, red Russell Stover box, take heed," bin Laden said. "For in the place of tasty caramels and buttercreams, you will find the flaming sword of righteous jihad!
-onion
WASHINGTON, DC—A new videotape of Osama bin Laden broadcast on the Arab satellite news channel Al-Jazeera Monday beseeched Allah to grant all Americans a "crappy Valentine's Day."
Above: Bin Laden tears up a "putrid Western Valentine's Day trifle" during his videotaped message.
"This Feb. 14th on the Western infidels' calendar, may all Americans receive no valentines from their beloved ones," bin Laden said. "May the homemade construction-paper mailboxes taped to the desks of the American schoolchildren remain empty, as well. May whomever you ask to 'bee yours' tell you to 'buzz off.'"
Bin Laden called for "romantic humiliation for all Americans of courting and betrothal age."
"Allah willing, embarrassment and tearful rejection shall rule this day," bin Laden said. "Paper hearts shall be rent and trod upon, and dreams of love delivered stillborn. Body language shall be misinterpreted, crushes unrequited, and sincere expressions of affection mocked. Invitations to dinner will be rejected, just as Americans have rejected Allah, the one true God."
During a speech before the Oklahoma Cattlemen's Association, President Bush condemned the al-Qaeda leader's remarks.
"[Bin Laden's] sinister call for romantic disappointment on Valentine's Day is yet another demonstration of the ruthless hatred this evil individual harbors for the American way of life," Bush said. "He directs rage at even our youngest and most innocent citizens, asking God to quash children's joy by making them receive, and I quote, 'only unwanted valentines bearing the laughable likenesses of out-of-favor pop-culture icons from the recent past, such as the Backstreet Boys and the creatures from Monsters, Inc.'"
"Bin Laden's depravity knows no bounds," Bush added.
According to state officials, bin Laden demonstrated an uncanny knowledge of Valentine's Day customs, in spite of the fact that the holiday is not celebrated in the Arab world. In addition to his allusions to classroom valentines, bin Laden cited heart-shaped candies, valentine personal ads in free alternative weeklies, and foot massages.
"In this infamous February, may all American hearts be crushed like a box of conversation hearts that is tossed carelessly into the bottom of a fellow student's schoolbag," bin Laden said. "We soldiers of Allah pledge with our blood and souls that all pink and red carnations shall wither and drop from their stalks before they make their way to the desks of America's secretaries. Instead of receiving hugs and kisses, they and their extended families shall be besieged with boos and hisses."
Bin Laden added: "May your special Valentine's Day dinner be spent at an overrated restaurant that impoverishes your purse and leaves your stomach churning with indigestible Western cuisine."
Bin Laden did not overlook the innocuous custom of giving stuffed animals as gifts.
"The teddy bear that holds the 'I love you' heart does not love you at all," Bin Laden said. "It is an unliving, unholy thing filled only with stuffing. Just as the Western infidel is not bestowed with the blessings of Allah, so shall he go unloved by the false bear."
The release of the bin Laden tape is consistent with the al-Qaeda leader's inclination to speak out before major American events, such as the 2004 U.S. presidential election.
"Perhaps whoever told bin Laden about Valentine's Day exaggerated its significance," departing Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge said. "Or, I don't know, maybe he was just itching to release another tape."
The Department of Homeland Security did not raise the terror advisory, recommending that Americans proceed with their Valentine's Day plans. This is in spite of the final words of bin Laden's address.
"Come Monday, as you pry open your fancy, red Russell Stover box, take heed," bin Laden said. "For in the place of tasty caramels and buttercreams, you will find the flaming sword of righteous jihad!
-onion
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BrutuStrength
It's time to bring it!
Well, if he's still looking for ideas, he could shop at this store:Thump said:
I've heard they have quite a selection.
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Say It With Diamonds!
My next door neighbor bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Valentine's Day.
I said to him, "I thought your wife wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where in the world was I going to find a fake Jeep!!"
My next door neighbor bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Valentine's Day.
I said to him, "I thought your wife wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where in the world was I going to find a fake Jeep!!"
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Yeah, my girlfriend drops hints all the time ... like, "Jesus H Christ get off that fucking message board or I'm leaving you! Hell, all you ever do is sit on that computer! I think you love that computer more than me! Dammit, you said after the bowl game that you wouldn't watch any more sports until baseball season began!!!"NOTREDAMECHIEF said:
Ahh ... the joys of Valentine's Day.
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Happy Valentine - Jersey style
http://ala.snhs.uz.zgora.pl/~casha/swf/bear.swf
choose the bear if it doesn't go all the way to the link
turn up the sound... and
press the cute bears belly button
<o =""></o>
http://ala.snhs.uz.zgora.pl/~casha/swf/bear.swf
choose the bear if it doesn't go all the way to the link
turn up the sound... and
press the cute bears belly button
<o =""></o>
Last edited:
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