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- Thread starter NJ-Buckeye
- Start date
Buck Nasty
You'll have nothing and like it
That had to be a great conversation.RugbyBuck said:
GF:Hey honey you know its Sweetest day this weekend is there anything you want?
Hawg: yeah, could you get me a tube of astroglide, these callouses on my hand are killing me. Is there anything you want?
GF: Ok, yeah I could use some Tampons
Hawg: maybe you could just pick those up when you are getting me the Lube, here's 5 bucks will that cover it.
GF: Sure, that should be enough. O' Boy this is going to be the best Sweetest Day ever!!!!
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Buck Nasty said:That had to be a great conversation.
GF:Hey honey you know its Sweetest day this weekend is there anything you want?
Hawg: yeah, could you get me a tube of astroglide, these callouses on my hand are killing me. Is there anything you want?
GF: Ok, yeah I could use some Tampons
Hawg: maybe you could just pick those up when you are getting me the Lube, here's 5 bucks will that cover it.
GF: Sure, that should be enough. O' Boy this is going to be the best Sweetest Day ever!!!!
I don't believe in "Greeting Card Holidays" anyway.
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RugbyBuck said:
I think it's a holiday that the greeting card industry started to make some money during a slow period. Only girls know about it. :2004:
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FKAGobucks877
The Most Power-Drunk
Sweetest Day, Bosses Day, they all run together for me....
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FKAGobucks877
The Most Power-Drunk
You talkin' to me? Let me introduce you to my boss:Oh8ch said:
I don't need to proof anything!
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Buck Nasty
You'll have nothing and like it
Your boss is the smallest white dot I have ever seen. These Green flavor ones kick ass!!
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LoKyBuckeye
I give up. This board is too hard to understand.
Signs that you're too drunk
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
You fall off the floor...
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you
fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine,
Alcohol, and [Women or Men].
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and
more attractive.
Roseanne looks good.
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past
you.
I'm as jober as a sudge.
The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
You fall off the floor...
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you
fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine,
Alcohol, and [Women or Men].
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and
more attractive.
Roseanne looks good.
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past
you.
I'm as jober as a sudge.
The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.
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Women's Revenge
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..."
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..."
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
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