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Oh8ch

Cognoscente of Omphaloskepsis
Staff member
Will John Kerry be the next president? Will Lydell Ross gain 1,000 yards? Will the Bucks beat the spread in each of their 11 games this season? Will Oh8ch seduce SushiChick?

Think you know the answers? Well get ready to put your vMoney where your vMouth is because we are about to reset the vBook and all of these (except the last one) will soon be events you can wager on.

Just to make sure everyone understands how this all works I have created this FAQ thread on the vBook. I would appreciate any feedback on items that are not clear or questions I have not addressed.

Note that we are planning some additional types of bets including pari-mutuel betting, so make sure you understand how those work.

Thanks

**************************

vBook Frequently Asked Questions

How do I place a bet?


Bets can be placed at the top of the thread that was used to create the event.

If you are not already in the thread for a particular event, the easiest way is to select ‘BP Book’ at the top of the forums page. This should bring up a list of all of the open events. Under each item you will see two options - ‘thread’ and ‘info’. By selecting ‘thread’ for the event you are interested in you will be taken to the thread where that event was established.

Before placing a bet read the first post in the thread. This post may provide important information you need to know about the event.

Then simply enter the dollar amount you want to bet (not more than you currently have) in the ‘stake’ column and select ‘Bet now!’.

You can also post a message in that same thread if you are in the mood to taunt others and make comments that you will later regret.

(Note: The check box for ‘private bet’ associated with an event is not the same as the ‘private’ head to head bets that are discussed below. This check box simply keeps others from seeing your bet – or so I assume since by definition I really don’t know what others can see when I check that box for myself. But only a candy-ass would ever check such a box to begin with.)

What is the most important thing I need to remember when placing a bet?

Read the first message in the thread!!!!!!!

This message will explain what type of bet it is, if it is a private bet, how the odds are handled, if the point spread can change, etc. You won’t see this information in the event itself – but you are responsible for reading it in the thread.

Failure to read this message will result in you asking a lot of stupid questions, annoying the heck out of the bookies, and ultimately taking a hit against your reputation points.

What are the different types of bets?

Fixed odds bets - The most common bet. The odds are established with the initial event and will not change.

Point spread bets – This is also a fixed odds bet, but the outcome is determined by a point spread. These can be set up so the point spread is fixed with the initial event or they can be set up to reflect the point spread at a later, predetermined point in time – in which case the bookie will edit the event and change the spread. How the bet will work will be explained in the first post in the thread.

Pari-mutuel bets (not directly supported by the SW – see description below)

Private ‘head-to-head’ bets (not directly supported by the SW - see description below)

What happens if something occurs and the event can no longer take place?

For example, what if we have an event to bet on the next Mike Tyson fight and he ends up in prison again?

We have the capability to ‘abandon’ an event and return all monies wagered to the bettors. This may also happen if there is an administrative issue in setting up the event or the conditions are stated ambiguously or incorrectly.

What happens if there is a tie in a point spread event?

The event will be abandoned and all monies returned.

What is a pari-mutuel event?

For most events the odds will be established in advance and remain set. However, in a pari-mutuel event the odds will be established based on the amounts wagered once the event has closed. The odds will be set to ensure - as closely as possible - that all wagered money is paid out.

For example, let’s say we establish an event regarding whether Oh8ch will be able to seduce SushiChick. I am not sure what the odds on such an event should be (although past experience would indicate a high probability of success) so they would not be established until after the event had closed – but before the actual competition.

Let’s say that when the bet closes $2,000 has been bet saying Oh8ch would complete the seduction, and $500 saying he would fail. The odds would be 1 to 4 for success (each four dollars bet would get you five dollars in return) and 4 to 1 for failure (each one dollar bet would get you five dollars in return). In either case the entire $2500 would be paid out. (Note that in most cases the math probably won’t come out this even.)

Unfortunately the vBookie SW does not allow for the creation of an event without odds. Therefore, for a pari-mutuel event the initial odds will be set at 1 to 1, but the event will clearly be described as pari-mutuel in the first message in the thread. READ THAT MESSAGE.

If you should place a bet on a pari-mutuel event in error – failing to realize it was a pari-mutuel event – and then request your money back it will be just like any other stupid mistake you make in life. Live with it.

Can I place more than one bet on an event?

Normally, yes. But there is an option for the bookie to set the event to allow only one bet per person. Not sure when or if that option will be used – unless it is just to screw with people.

Can I suggest an idea for an event to bet on?

Sure. Just PM a bookie.

Have you ever broken anyone’s leg?

No, but I have had someone else break a person’s leg.

Where do I get money to bet?

Every registered member of the Buckeye Planet is given an initial stake of $500.

Is it real money? If not, what can I do with my money?

Yes, it is real money. Clarity is actually Theresa-Heinz Kerry and she loves Buckeye fans soooo much she is giving each of them $500 just for visiting an OSU web site. Get real.

The only thing you can do with your money is continue to place bets until you go broke – just like any other gambler in the real world.

However, if somebody has any other ideas we could talk. Maybe we could sell reputation points or trophy icons.

What happens if I run out of money?

Well, IMO you ought to go get a vJob and EARN some more vCash. However, in the opinion of the bleeding heart liberals that run this board people should not be held accountable for their actions and everyone who runs out of cash will automatically be given an additional $25 to play with. If you lose that you get another $25, and so on. (Lyndon Johnson would be so proud.)

And where does all this vCash come from? Hard working Message Board junkies like myself – that’s where!

The best way to avoid this situation is to bet moderately and place sound, logical bets only in amounts you can afford to lose. But of course if that was your plan you wouldn’t have asked this question in the first place, would you? Why don’t you go get a copy of Atlas Shrugged and find out how the world is supposed to work instead of slinking around looking for a handout?

How many times a minute does the average person blink?


The average adult blinks between 12 and 20 times per minute. Based on a 16 hour waking day and a lifespan of 72 years, that would work out to be about 400 million blinks in a lifetime. The function of blinking, of course, is to lubricate the eye. However, we are wired to blink less when looking at a compelling target. This is part of the reason that people who use computers for hours on end tend to experience eyestrain - they usually blink as little as 5 times per minute.

How do I place a private bet with another poster to settle an argument?

It isn’t all that simple.

First, you have to agree on the terms.
Then contact one of the vBook bookies (a PM is fine) to set up the event.
Let the bookie know the terms and odds.
Please define your terms clearly so there are no disputes over who won.
Once the event is created the involved parties can place their bets.
As soon as those bets are placed – and the bookie has the time - the bookie will lock the event.
There is nothing that will prevent others from placing bets on your private event prior to it being closed, however, anyone who does so will lose their cash as the bookie will not pay it out to them. This will be explained in the first post in the event thread – so READ THAT POST!
If there is any ambiguity about who won the wager the two parties must agree and notify the bookie who to pay out. Otherwise the event will be abandoned and monies returned.

Just remember, the bookie may not always respond immediately to your request. We have real lives you know. We have friends outside of the Internet. We go to parties and stuff. We have girlfriends and hobbies. We work out. We do! So just be patient.

How are events ‘Settled’?

Each event identifies a date after which the event will ‘pay out’, but it doesn’t happen automatically.

The bookie must log onto the event and pay out each winner. If the outcome has been determined prior to the ‘pay out’ date the bookie can also settle in advance of that date.

Give it a couple of days after the event and if you still aren’t paid out send a polite PM to the bookie to remind them.

Of course, manual payouts mean we can make inadvertent mistakes. If it looks like that happened let us know.

Who can create events?

Only a vBook bookie can place bets. vBook bookies are highly skilled technicians who have been carefully trained in the laws of probability. We are heavily bonded.

Just who are these bookies you keep talking about? They sound really cool.

Currently only Oh8ch and Clarity are vBook bookies. You should show them the respect they deserve.

If you have a vBookie question or want to send a vBook PM you should try Oh8ch first. Clarity has enough on his plate.

How difficult is it to become a vBook bookie?

That depends. How important is it to you and what do you have to offer in return? What does your girl friend look like and how much does SHE want you to become a bookie? (If you ever see an event created by SushiChick you should be able to figure out the rest of THAT story.)

If I put my car battery in backwards, will the horn suck?

Yes, and it could very well be a viable form of propulsion, albeit a noisy one. The Soviet Scientist Sergei Maschinovskii, called the "Father of the Russian Truck" devised a large vehicle that gulped air into a funnel mounted on the hood, and expelled it noisily out the rear. He called it the Great Flatulator, and hundreds of thousands were manufactured and sold behind the iron curtain. You could hear one coming a mile away, which inadvertently contributed to its high safety rating. No one ever failed to know when a Flatulator was near.

What do I do if it looks like something fishy is going on?

What if the payout doesn’t seem right? What if the odds change?
In particular, what if the close dates for the event changes after the initial event is established?

Shit happens.

In particular, the vBookie has what I consider a ‘glitch’ that resets the ‘Bets Paid After’ date to the same as the ‘Bets Accepted Until’ date (close date) if the bookie doesn’t remember to turn off a specific ‘check box’ any time he is editing an event. Well hell - right now I am wearing one black sock and one tan sock – and I’m supposed to remember check boxes?

Since pay outs are manual, errors can happen there as well (normally when the bookie is toggling back and forth between the Hot Ladies thread and the event). If an error in a payout is detected we will do our best to correct the problem by establishing a ‘dummy’ event and paying out corrective amounts.

Sometimes what looks like an error isn’t an error at all. It could be that the odds changed because it is a pari-mutuel event and you didn’t know it because YOU DIDN’T READ THE FIRST POST IN THE THREAD!

Other than that, if it looks like there is a problem let us know.

Can I look at a past history of events?

When you select ‘BP Book’ from the forum page it will take you to the vBookie Home. On this page there is a drop down box that allows you to select ‘Open’, ‘Closed’, ‘Settled’ and ‘Abandoned’ events. In addition there is a ‘Bet Statistics’ option near the top of that page that provides interesting statistics about aggregate betting.

What is the most important thing I need to remember when placing a bet?

This is the third time you have been told - read the first damn message in the thread and make sure you understand the terms of the event!!!!!!!

Happy Wagering.
 
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I'm all for giving money to those who lost it (god bless LBJ), but still, WE need to know who those idiots are. So, I think the mods should create some kind of "Hall of Shame" (maybe name it after Pete Rose) list to include all those morons who lost all their money.

Homer: [wipes a tear away] No, Lisa. The only monster here is the
gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him
Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
 
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