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Cleveland Browns (2017 Thread of Chlamydia)

Discussion in 'Professional Football' started by NFBuck, Jan 17, 2017.

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  1. NFBuck

    NFBuck Total Coverage.

    Lets get this shit show started.

    18 years, 2 winning seasons and 1 playoff game. Hasn't this been fun?
    dav713, LitlBuck, Buckeneye and 2 others like this.
  2. buckeyebri

    buckeyebri 40 Days in the Hole

    Somebody help me I have a flat Quarterback......
  3. NFBuck

    NFBuck Total Coverage.

    Check the closet, there's a few spares in there.
    AuTX Buckeye and buckeyebri like this.
  4. LitlBuck

    LitlBuck Kevin Warren is an ass

    Well, they got Clyde Simmons so that is a start :boogie:
  5. tsteele316

    tsteele316 Mr. Such and Such

    They could have hired Clyde the orangutan from those Clint Eastwood movies, and I'd be fine with it as long as it meant Ray Horton was sent packing.
  6. LitlBuck

    LitlBuck Kevin Warren is an ass

    I will never understand how he became a DC in the NFL.. Not to mention that he was the DC for the Browns… Twice:lol: did not they learn the first time and I know it was a different regime but still his record was there..
    AuTX Buckeye likes this.
  7. Bucklion

    Bucklion Throwback Staff Member Former Premier League Champ

    Rob Ryan school of suck
    brodybuck21 likes this.
  8. LordJeffBuck

    LordJeffBuck Illuminatus Emeritus Staff Member Tech Admin Bookie

    Overall record since 1999: 88 wins, 200 losses, .306 winning percentage.

    Needless to say, that's the worst in the NFL.
  9. AKAK

    AKAK If you hear the siren its already too late Staff Member Tech Admin

    I normally enjoy your stats. This seems a little obvious. Other than if you had just asked the over/under on 88 I'd have sadly had to think about it
  10. NFBuck

    NFBuck Total Coverage.

    To go a little deeper, in their 18 seasons, the clowns have averaged the following per season:

    Points Scored: 268.1 (16.75 ppg)
    Points Allowed: 366.9 (22.93 ppg)

    They've been outscored by an average of a TD per game since their return.

    The defenses have been mostly bad, but their inability to field even an average offense has been downright staggering. If you consider 320 points scored (20 ppg) the "Mendoza Line" for NFL offense, in the clowns 18 seasons, they've achieved that TWICE. Two times, TOTAL. They haven't done that since the outlier 2007 season that saw them score 402 points (25.1 ppg). That's nine straight years below the "Mendoza Line". The only other season they reached it was their lone playoff year in 2002, scoring 344 points (21.5 ppg). I consider anything under 17 ppg (272 points scored) to be "anemic." The clowns "offenses" have come in under that ten times.

    Defense has been a problem at times, particularly the past two years, but not nearly on the level of the absolute shit-show this franchise has been offensively.

    The clowns are well known as a QB graveyard. It achieved meme-status years ago. The clowns have managed a total of FOUR 3000 yard passers since they were, ahem, re-born:

    Brian Hoyer, 2014, 3326 yards
    Brandon Weeden, 2012, 3385 yards
    Derek Anderson, 2007, 3787 yards
    Tim Couch, 2001, 3040 yards

    Seven times, they failed to field a QB that reached 2000 yards, three times nobody could eclipse 1500 yards.

    In eighteen years, just one Browns QB has eclipsed the 20 TD Pass barrier, Derek Anderson with 29 in 2007. ONE in EIGHTEEN years.

    In 18 years, they've sent one QB to the Pro-Bowl, Derek Anderson in 2007. We all know what happened after that.

    QB play hasn't been the only issue. 1000 yard rushers seem to be a dime-a-dozen these days. This giggle-fuck franchise has managed four, or one every 4.5 years.

    Rueben Droughns, 2005, 1232 yards
    Jamal Lewis, 2007, 1304 yards
    Jamal Lewis, 2008, 1002 yards
    Peyton Hillis, 2010, 1177 yards

    The Clowns have never had a RB selected for the Pro-Bowl.

    What about WR/TE, you say? Seems like there's stacks of 1000 yards receivers every year. Hell, many teams have two. Well, they've done marginally better there, producing 7 in 18 years:

    Kevin Johnson, 2001, 1097 yards
    Antonio Bryant, 2005, 1009 yards
    Braylon Edwards, 2007, 1289 yards
    Kellen Winslow II, 2007, 1106 yards
    Josh Gordon, 2013, 1646 yards
    Gary Barnidge, 2015, 1043 yards,
    Terrelle Pryor, 2016, 1007 yards

    In that time, 4 clowns receivers have earned Pro-Bowl recognition; Edwards/Winslow in '07, Gordon in '13 (also All-Pro), and Barnidge in '15. Edwards and Winslow were one-offs as they never approached that success again, Gordon turned out to be an actual retard, and it appears unlikely Barnidge will approach that level again unless they miraculously figure out the QB situation (longshot).

    So, in 18 years, the clowns have had a total of 11 players surpass the 1000 yard threshold, and have sent a total of 5 skill-position players to the Pro Bowl. Each of them were one-timers. Three of them were from the flukey 2007 offense that fell off a cliff the following year when they actually had to play a challenging schedule. That's just stunning incompetence from a personnel standpoint.

    Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR Cleveland Browns.
  11. NFBuck

    NFBuck Total Coverage.

    As I was researching the above stats, I came across the 2008 season and the offense over the last six games blew me away. :lol:

    They scored the following in those six games:

    31 points, 5.2 ppg

    Total yards:

    185.8 ypg

    Five straight games <200 total yards :slappy:

    Pass yards:

    96.7 ypg

    61 passing yards TOTAL in their last two games. How is that even possible??? :rofl:
  12. Fungo Squiggly

    Fungo Squiggly Mortal enemy of all things Bucky Yahoo Pickem Champ Former Game Champion '18 Keeper League Champ '18 BPCFFB II Champ

    You are one sick bastard. Can't you go back to the IU stats already?
    buckeyebri and NFBuck like this.
  13. NFBuck

    NFBuck Total Coverage.

    I love a good dark comedy.
  14. buckeyebri

    buckeyebri 40 Days in the Hole

    @NFBuck can you do a pivot table with coaches and their associated stats....8D

  15. tsteele316

    tsteele316 Mr. Such and Such

    well, the 2017 season highlight is already in the books with the greg williams presser, where he made a fool out of tony grossi and espn 850 immediately cut away from the press conference.

    brodybuck21 likes this.
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