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Colonoscopy 2.0

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by kinch, Apr 12, 2016.

  1. kinch

    kinch Wash me Staff Member

    I tried finding the old thread, but I may be stupid.

    So it has been ten years since I had to have one, and since I chickened out of swallowing a Lego man.

    This time I shall not disappoint, but I'll be smarter. I am thinking maybe a marble, which would be the safest bet, and then just tell the doctor, "that's where that was!"

    But if I am real man, I'll have a lego in my ass. That is what real men do.

    Regardless, I promise, there will be video.

    . . .

    of the inside of my ass.

    with a foreign object.
     
  2. BoxCar_Willie

    BoxCar_Willie The World's Favorite Hobo

  3. Oh8ch

    Oh8ch Cognoscente of Omphaloskepsis Staff Member

    I remember a disturbing moment after my first colonoscopy back in the day before all this electronic stuff.

    The doctor had just finished a lengthy session of poking and prodding. As he was leaving the room the nurse walked in and asked; "Who was that?"
     
  4. Dryden

    Dryden Sober as Sarkisian Staff Member Tech Admin

    Try asking your doctorb if he can find the old thread.
     
    sparcboxbuck likes this.
  5. Jake

    Jake Germans? Forget it he's rolling. ‘17 The Deuce Champ '18 The Deuce Champ Fantasy Baseball Champ

    [​IMG]
     
    Muck and OHSportsFan like this.
  6. ScriptOhio

    ScriptOhio Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

    Here they are:

    http://www.buckeyeplanet.com/forum/threads/colon-ambush.18827/

    http://www.buckeyeplanet.com/forum/threads/colonoscopies-and-skirts.625573/

    What a coincidence, I just had mine (i.e. colonoscopy 3.0) today. The only difference from the previous ones was the prescription for the stuff I drank. This time there were two sessions of drinking. The first one you drink 16 oz of the anti freeze at 6 PM the night before and then you drink another 16 oz the next morning 4 hours before you leave for the facility to have the procedure. Apparently this is a new product and/or the doctor just wanted me to double my pleasure of sitting on the crapper for two 4 hour sessions "evacuating". This is a different doctor that had done either of my 2 previous colonoscopies, so maybe he just prescribes a different product. Anyway the actual procedure was another "piece of cake" similar to the one below. The good news was that everything went well and I didn't have any polyps. On a side note I didn't have any lego guys; but the doctor did comment that there was 100 pieces of corn in one area of my colon that he had to move out of the way.

    Anyway I'm on the 5 year plan due to my age and/or the fact that they did find and remove 2 polyps on colonoscopy 2.0.

     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2016
  7. Dryden

    Dryden Sober as Sarkisian Staff Member Tech Admin

    Surprised they'd give you anti freeze. I'd have guessed wiper fluid is the way to go.
     
  8. BUCKYLE

    BUCKYLE Washed

    I had a surprise colonoscopy a couple years ago. Had to go to the ER with...let's call it...a condition. Anyway, I think the doc was a drill sergeant in North Korea before coming here. She was examining me for this...condition, and told me to roll onto my side, pull my knees to my chest and breathe. She then took two fingers that felt way bigger than a woman of her diminutive size should posess, and best I could tell, tried to work me like a fucking puppet. As I laid there, reflex tears streaming down my face, laughing from shame or embarrassment or shock, I half whispered "I bet it's days like this that make you love your job". She replied "not really" in broken English, tossed her gloves in the trash, and walked out of my life forever. I told the male nurse "sorry" and walked out.
     
    BB73, Muck, kinch and 2 others like this.
  9. Taosman

    Taosman Buzzed

    I had my most recent in October. This time I split the prep up in 2 parts and used blue Gator Aid as most of my drink mixed with the anti freeze.
    Worked perfectly.
     
  10. kinch

    kinch Wash me Staff Member

    Firstly, Buckyle, that was maybe the most beautiful and moving thing I have ever read.

    Also though, it is weird how different the prep is for people. I just have to take this little bottle of stuff once, like a cup, and then bam for 24 hours. The doctor said they don't prescribe it all the time because it can cause kidney failure and stuff.

    Then chicken broth and tabasco for a day. . .
     
  11. Oh8ch

    Oh8ch Cognoscente of Omphaloskepsis Staff Member

    I've learned that if you shellac it first the kernels stay on the cobb.
     
    BB73, Thump and Saw31 like this.
  12. Muck

    Muck Enjoy Every Sandwich Staff Member

    You have to admit that it's kind of neat that your doctor isn't concerned about your health. Kidney failure smidney failure.
     
  13. ScriptOhio

    ScriptOhio Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

    Yeah, but did she get the gerbil?

    [​IMG]
     
  14. kinch

    kinch Wash me Staff Member

    Well, the way I figure it, I have two kidneys. People give one away all the time.
     
  15. sparcboxbuck

    sparcboxbuck What happened to my ¤cash?


    So? Fully body cleanse?
     

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