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Darwin Awards (Mega-Merge)

Those are the funniest things.

congrats.gif

Congratulations, gentlemen. You win.

And that just makes it even funnier.
 
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These are old but the Metallica guys are always good for a laugh.

My all time favorite is the radio operator who filled out the insurance claim. Just the way its written kills me.

There used to be one about a guy getting a jelly fish inside his wet suit too, it was hysterical.

Here's the site if you want more of this crazy shit.


1998 Urban Legend<TABLE cellSpacing=5 cellPadding=10 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR vAlign=top bgColor=#ffffff><TD width="50%">Accident Report
This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response: "I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."
</TD><TD>"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel." "Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Probably bullshit but funny none the less.
 
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It's funny that you brought this up because they just showed the episode of MythBusters where the guys tried to prove if that construction site accident could have been possible. And they actually were able to pull it off just like that.



These are old but the Metallica guys are always good for a laugh.

My all time favorite is the radio operator who filled out the insurance claim. Just the way its written kills me.

There used to be one about a guy getting a jelly fish inside his wet suit too, it was hysterical.

Here's the site if you want more of this crazy shit.




Probably bullshit but funny none the less.
 
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Darwin Award Nominee

apparently this woman has heard of the Darwin Award and is trying to win one........

http://www.gazette.com/display.php?id=1315346

Woman enters exhibit, elephant smacks her


The Associated Press
WACO, Texas - A 25-year-old woman climbed past barriers and into an elephant’s zoo exhibit, then crawled out with minor injuries after the 6,000-pound animal smacked her with its trunk.

“That’s how an elephant reacts to something they would perceive as a threat,” said Cameron Park Zoo director Jim Fleshman.

After saying she wanted to play with the elephant, the woman climbed over a 3-feet-high wood-and-wire fence, scaled an 8-foot-tall artificial rock structure and bypassed an electric wire before jumping into the exhibit Thursday afternoon, Fleshman said. A moat extends around most of the exhibit.

After the woman got out, fire and emergency crews took her to a hospital with minor injuries, including scrapes on her side and arm. Waco Fire Capt. Greg Kistler said the woman, whose name was not released, was visiting the zoo with a child and another woman.

The exhibit contains two female African elephants that have been at the zoo at least nine years. Only one of the elephants struck the woman.

Both animals were stressed after the incident and were moved to a private area for part of the afternoon, and one did not want to return to the exhibit even later in the day. But both were back for visitors to see Friday, Fleshman said.

“They’re not used to somebody being in their space,” he said
 
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Darwin Award Alert!! - Thieves Gas Themselves

I think this has to go to the top of the order of the next round of Darwin Awards
LINK
Thieves gas themselves in cyanide heist blunder <!-- END HEADLINE -->
<!-- BEGIN STORY BODY -->Mon May 1, 9:54 AM ET


Two hapless Chinese thieves gassed themselves to death with cyanide along with five intended victims while trying to rob a gambling den in the city of Ruichang, the Xinhua news agency reported Saturday.
A court in nearby Jiujiang Thursday sentenced their three surviving accomplices to death for the robbery, carried out last June.
One of the three passed out for several hours from the effects of the gas -- but still remembered to rob the dead of 15,950 yuan ($1,990), five mobile phones and a gold necklace when he came around, Xinhua said.
 
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It's funny that you brought this up because they just showed the episode of MythBusters where the guys tried to prove if that construction site accident could have been possible. And they actually were able to pull it off just like that.
I don't know if mythbusters is a reliable source, one of my buddies aunts blew up at a gas station after it was determined it was busted
 
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I have a very strong feeling that this fellow is going to make the 2007 Darwin Award list - in fact, we may have a winner from St. Clair Township, OH.

Copper Thief Fries on Power Line
brandon-reed.jpg

The thief (above) Brandon Reed, and his trusty sidekick and part-time drug-raid police officer impersonator Josh Snyder.
josh-snyder.jpg

Police in Saint Clair Township are investigating the electrocution of an apparent copper thief.

Authorities say 22 year old Brandon Reed of Hamilton climbed a power line on
North Third Street in Hamilton around three this morning because he was trying to steal copper. His friend Josh Snyder called dispatchers and reported Reed needed help.

Duke Energy crews were called to get him down after officials determined he was electrocuted. Authorities are charging Snyder with complicity to attempted theft. Police say they learned Snyder drove Reed to the scene and was to return to pick him up once the wire was cut.

Reed was arrested back in February and charged with posing as a law enforcement officer to steal drugs.
Investigators say Reed was wearing a real uniform when he posed as a deputy at two different Hamilton homes.
Police say he told one victim, who had been burglarized before, that he needed to check her oxycontin as part of the investigation.
 
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