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Do you see this dickhead. It's a portable emergency urinal. You use it to piss in when you can't find a freeking toilet. Your dumb ass would probably put the damn thing on your head and then wonder why you keep getting pissed on.
HEY! This is whats known as a keyboard you dumbass. Not to be confused with the musical keyboard that Stevie Wonder plays to entertain you.
You plug the type of keyboard illustrated above into your personal home computer and then use it to interact with your friends, family and enemies via the internet. Well, you mostly only use it to interact with your enemies, because you don't have many friends and your family are either completely ignorant in the ways of modern technology, in rehab or dead.