Favorite Simpsons quotes

[stxbuck]

Kent Brockman -"We''ll all be able to take golden showers."
Grandpa Simpson "I'll be damned before I recognize Missouri!"

 

[Zurp]

Homer (Who weighs 300+ pounds):
"8:58 - First time I've ever been early to work. Except for all those daylight savings days. Lousy farmers."

 

[Zurp]

Marge: "Homer, how are the kids going to get home from school?"
Homer: "I don't know.. the internet??"

Homer: "They have the internet on computers, now?

 

[NFBuck]

Homer- "Sorry doesn't put thumbs back on hands Marge!"

 

[tedginn05]

Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.

Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.

 

[MightbeaBuck]

I think that was the secret episode that was never aired...

So it was the "The secret episode that was erred..."

 

[JXC]

Homer: Don't blame me, I voted for Kang.

I believe it is Kodos.


This is a great one...and kind of applies to me right now since I missed work today.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow, don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woohoo! Four day weekend!!!

 

[jc_ultimate]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal

 

[BUCKYLE]

Season 1.

Homer goes to get an R.V., he applies for the "Ultamite Behemoth", and when cowboy bob checks his credit, a loud siren goes off.

Homer: "Is that a good siren"?
Cowboy Bob: "Have you ever known a siren to be good"?

Bart: "Does it have a sattelite dish"?
Cowboy Bob: "You can tell your boy it has its own sattelite...vanstar 1, launched last february"

 

[JXC]

Season 1.

Homer goes to get an R.V., he applies for the "Ultamite Behemoth", and when cowboy bob checks his credit, a loud siren goes off.

Homer: "Is that a good siren"?
Cowboy Bob: "Have you ever known a siren to be good"?

Bart: "Does it have a sattelite dish"?
Cowboy Bob: "You can tell your boy it has its own sattelite...vanstar 1, launched last february"

Probably the best season 1 episode!

 

[scooter1369]

I believe it is Kodos.

Kodos won the election

 

[Buckeye Maniac]

Ralph: This is where I found the lepracaun, he tells me to BURN things.

Homer(drunk): Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

 

[Jagdaddy]

Lisa: "Dad, you don't understand!!"

Homer: Oh honey, of course I understand. Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Also, we've gotta have some Sideshow Bob:

"Lawyer: But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, "Die Bart, Die?"

Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The."

Officer: No one who speaks GERMAN could be an evil man."

And some Moe:

"Hey. if you're getting high off of the fumes I'm gonna have to charge you."

 

[tedginn05]

Anyone remember that one where Homer is sitting on the couch. Saying something like...


Homer: Aw I love Saturdays.

Marge: Its Wednesday


Homer: Aw I love Saturdays, not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired.


I can't remember the whole thing, but you probably know what I'm talking about.

 

[NFBuck]

Bart: Dad, I think I need some fresh air. Can I go to the park?
Homer: Do I have to sit up?
Bart: No.
Homer: Knock yourself out

Homer:I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa-laaaaming.

Grandpa outside the window points at a birdbath
Grandpa: Deeeeeaaaaaaaath!