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growing older

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by BoxCar_Willie, Apr 15, 2004.

  1. Oh8ch

    Oh8ch Cognoscente of Omphaloskepsis Staff Member

    I appreciate all the points made by CLT and others, but I think it is time the other side was told.

    First, the women.

    Women like power, and nothing says power like a nice paunch, a little gray and a receding hairline. Trust me, once you hit 50 they ladies wont leave you alone - especially the young ones with nice tight bods. Do you realy believe they like bumping and grinding against all those hard bodied young studs? Don't you realize how much those hard muscles hurt? Not with us oldtimers. The chicks just love to get it on and have a simulated pillow fight at the same time.

    Memory

    I hear all this crap about people losing their memory and repeating the same thing over and over again. That is a bunch of hooey. Your memory will be just fine.

    Exercise.

    The messages above imply exercise is a problem. Simply move your bed to the other side of the house - at least 30 feet from the bathroom. You can easily get in two miles of walking per night. Problem solved.

    Driving Habits.

    Contrary to urban legend, your driving ability will improve dramatically. At last, you will realize that the speed limit is exactly that - a LIMIT! You don't need to go any faster. Wherever you are headed will still be there when you arrive. Relax, enjoy the trip. Not only will you adopt this philosopy, buy you will want to share it with those behind you. All the honking and waving simply reinforces how much they appreciate the lesson you have to impart.

    Memory

    I hear all this crap about people losing their memory and repeating the same thing over and over again. That is a bunch of hooey. Your memory will be just fine.

    Cold Weather

    Another urban legend is that old folks don't like the cold. Why should that be a problem? If part of your body gets cold, simply grow some hair there. Once you get to be my age you will find you can grow hair pretty much anywhere you like (except on your head of course).

    Drinking

    I have to disagree with the advice to cut down on the drinking. I honestly don't think I could get through three glasses of Metamucil a day unless I mixed each one with a shot of Schnapps.

    So relax, you got lots to look forward to.
     
    localyokel likes this.
  2. 3yardsandacloud

    3yardsandacloud Administrator Emeritus

  3. Jake

    Jake They took the bar! ‘17 The Deuce Champ '18 The Deuce Champ Fantasy Baseball Champ

    [​IMG]
     
    localyokel likes this.

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