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Half the distance to the goal

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RugbyBuck said:
Smithlabs here: Just think how cool it would be if one team called their plays in Klingon and the other in Romulan [sp? no fucking clue] and the referee (is that what you football people call them?) had to use a Vulcan mind meld to communicate penalties...

And this one time, at Band Camp...
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Dude.. that is hilarious!
 
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Smithlabs here: Just wondering, you know when you're sitting around in your SpongeBob jammies wanking off about Princess Leia in the metal bikini and you almost get there and then you clamp it off and then you almost get there and clamp it off and then you, damn, then your mom comes in and catches you and asks you what in the good bloody Christ a 30 year old "man" is doing living in his parents' basement playing Dungeons and Dragons and jacking off to Princess Leia...
 
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hm-b.jpg

Nasty, by my calculations, that would work well.
 
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RugbyBuck said:
Smithlabs here: Just wondering, you know when you're sitting around in your SpongeBob jammies wanking off about Princess Leia in the metal bikini and you almost get there and then you clamp it off and then you almost get there and clamp it off and then you, damn, then your mom comes in and catches you and asks you what in the good bloody Christ a 30 year old "man" is doing living in his parents' basement playing Dungeons and Dragons and jacking off to Princess Leia...
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LOL... ok time to walk away from the keyboard.....
 
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Smithlabs here: You know when you're sitting on the commode (I think you people call it a shitter) and you start to poop and then you suck it back in and then you poop and suck it back in... and then your mom bangs on the door and says come out of there you've been in there for forty-five minutes jacking off looking at Popular Mechanics and old National Geographics...
 
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and then your mom bangs on the door and says come out of there you've been in there for forty-five minutes jacking off looking at Popular Mechanics and old National Geographics...
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Mom: "Smitty, how long you gonna be in there??? Mommy's got to get in the medicine cabinet"

Smithlabs: "Well, Mom, less than 15 more Minutes, its a statistical necessity"
 
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smithlabs said:
Here is another question for you all. What is the indefinite integral of d(cabin)/cabin? That’s right, a natural log cabin. If you don’t get this joke perhaps you don’t understand infinity as well as you think you do. In that case, I can understand your confusion over a question that, at its core, addresses infinity.
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Here's one for you. There are three kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
 
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If their is an infinite number of chances of event with finite probability occurring than the event will occur.
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in an infinite number of chances....one, one event did occour....two humans mated to give birth to the stupidest fuck this world has ever seen.....you....congrats for being a physical near impossibility.....
 
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There's a lot of ways you could be a pussy and win a football game by abusing the rules. I'm sure the country would love a team that did that. That goes against the spirit of the game...some that still exists believe it or not.
 
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Smithlabs contemplates what would happen if musical notes were awarded on penalties instead of yards.
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You know the sad part is my actual work conditions are worse than this. I program FORTRAN on a DEC Alpha. The lab I work in has strict rules so I have to program in a walled off cubical that looks like a shower stall complete with curtain. Security wants me to close the curtain at all times but I just try to close it during naps.

v$20 says you live in miSHITgan...
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Wrong, Tucson Arizona. BTW open invitation to stay at my house for the next Buckeye trip to the Fiesta bowl. I would say open invitation to go to some bowl in El Paso but I can't bring myself to think that low at this time. At least the rest of the world goes off of daylight savings time this weekend and we go back to the Mountain time zone. Watching football at 9:00 in the morning is just wrong. Watching the PAC 10 at any time is worse.

shitlap, did you get run over by the dumbfuck truck when you were young?
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Zoning kept most trucks out of Upper Arlington. :)

By the way Smith Labs happens to be where most of the worst shit in my academic history happened as you can tell by my post so Fuck off!!!
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Me too
Seeing as you like physics, maybe you should change your moniker to QuantumDumbass.
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QuantumDumbass would be pretty close. I remember my second time through Quatum mechanics. I was the only graduating senior in the class so I got to take senior exams early. The teacher came up to me and started explaining his class to me. He said he graded his class on a bell curve and right now I was on the flat part of the curve near the bottom. I would have to do really well on the final to pull up my grade. I said "yea, I know". He said, I could just give you a C now. I said ok without a second thought. An entire year of my life to descibe the Hydrogen Atom - exactly.

This has to be the stoopudest and funniest thread that I've seen in a long time.
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This is the Mario Lemieux of threads. In the Hall of Fame before retirement!! Straight to the reference locker!!
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Always willing to take one for the team. In fact, I think I should put ability to take a beating on my resume.


Here is a question for you'll. Does the Zeno paradox strategy work on PS2?


Smithlabs
 
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the bald truth

smithlabs said:
Do you guys get stuck in the shower when you are washing your hair?
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Got Creeping Alopecia - not a problem.

smithlabs self-image at the start of this thread

19980428-Hawking3.jpg


smithlabs self-image after this thread became a black hole
zbutthead.jpg


So long and thanks for all the fish
 
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Here is another question for you all. What is the indefinite integral of d(cabin)/cabin? That’s right, a natural log cabin. If you don’t get this joke perhaps you don’t understand infinity as well as you think you do. In that case, I can understand your confusion over a question that, at its core, addresses infinity.
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i missed this piece of brilliance. hey genius, i dont know about the rest of the people here....but i was doing integrals and derivatives and shit in 10th grade. this loser joke doesnt make you some mathematical genius.
 
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PsychiatricLabs said:
Here is another question for you all. What is the indefinite integral of d(cabin)/cabin? That’s right, a natural log cabin. If you don’t get this joke perhaps you don’t understand infinity as well as you think you do. In that case, I can understand your confusion over a question that, at its core, addresses infinity.
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Since you brought up the cursed discipline knows as calculus:
You should know from 8th grade that anything over itself is equal to 1. Therefore you have the indefinite integral of d1. Sounds like somebody's rusty on their basic algebra :shake:. It isn't a very good joke now is it? (I'll give you a hint, the answer is "no", it always has been "no") And the core of the question is not infinity, conversely, it deals with the finite ammount of time it takes the team to 1) get boo-ed out of the stadium 2) get penalized for real and 3) be the laughing stock of all college football.

Please do us all a favor and stop thinking.
 
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