Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

[ORD_Buckeye]

That's a busy two days. Fredo must have been trying to do them two at a time................like cocktail waitresses.

Miami University student indicted on 13 sex charges, including rape

OXFORD, Ohio -- A Miami University student is behind bars after being indicted on 13 sex charges, including rape, The Journal-News reported.

Nicolas Cristescu, 20, of the 200 block of Pines Lodge on campus, is accused of rape and sexual battery, both felonies, as well as 11 counts of misdemeanor voyeurism, according to the Butler County Clerk of Courts Office.

The crimes are alleged to have occurred between Oct. 11 and 12.

http://www.wcpo.com/news/crime/miami-university-student-indicted-on-13-sex-charges-including-rape

 

[ScriptOhio]

Escaped snake that gave boy, 5, pee-thon shock may have been hiding in family's toilet for two months

Tim Yardley recognised Reggie, his harmless royal python, and came forward to say he disappeared in summer

A python found by a five-year-old boy in the toilet of his home had been on the loose for two months, the snake’s owner has revealed.

Tim Yardley recognised Reggie, his harmless royal python, in media coverage and came forward to reveal his 3ft pet had disappeared when he moved into a new home this summer.

Entire article: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/escaped-snake-gave-boy-5-11117665

 

[LostLassie]

Escaped snake that gave boy, 5, pee-thon shock may have been hiding in family's toilet for two months

Tim Yardley recognised Reggie, his harmless royal python, and came forward to say he disappeared in summer

A python found by a five-year-old boy in the toilet of his home had been on the loose for two months, the snake’s owner has revealed.

Tim Yardley recognised Reggie, his harmless royal python, in media coverage and came forward to reveal his 3ft pet had disappeared when he moved into a new home this summer.

Entire article: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/escaped-snake-gave-boy-5-11117665

Thanks for reinforcing one of my nightmares. This is not an isolated event.

Yet another great reason for keeping your bathroom door closed at all times.

 

[ScriptOhio]

Possum breaks into Florida liquor store, gets drunk

A opossum apparently got o-plastered on bourbon after breaking into a Florida liquor store.

According to the Associated Press, the possum was found Nov. 24 by an employee of the store. The animal was next to a broken and empty bottle of bourbon.

"A worker there found the opossum up on a shelf next to a cracked open bottle of liquor with nothing in it," said Michelle Pettis, a technician at Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge. "She definitely wasn’t fully acting normal."

Entire article: http://www.khou.com/news/weird/possum-breaks-into-fla-liquor-store-gets-drunk/496430408

 

[OHSportsFan]

Possum breaks into Florida liquor store, gets drunk

A opossum apparently got o-plastered on bourbon after breaking into a Florida liquor store.

According to the Associated Press, the possum was found Nov. 24 by an employee of the store. The animal was next to a broken and empty bottle of bourbon.

"A worker there found the opossum up on a shelf next to a cracked open bottle of liquor with nothing in it," said Michelle Pettis, a technician at Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge. "She definitely wasn’t fully acting normal."

Entire article: http://www.khou.com/news/weird/possum-breaks-into-fla-liquor-store-gets-drunk/496430408

Just happy to see @Saw31 living his best life.

 

[LostLassie]

Just happy to see @Saw31 living his best life.

Yeah, but reincarnated as a possum, can he still pee his name in the snow?

PS I miss Saw.

 

[Dryden]

 

[LostLassie]

View attachment 17105

So, revising the charges to attempted bestiality?

 

[Oh8ch]

Should have been cleared just for sneaking into the bedroom of a woman who could be mistaken for a panda.

Then again - exactly what does that outfit have to do with a panda in the first place?

 

[LostLassie]

So, revising the charges to attempted bestiality?

Should have been cleared just for sneaking into the bedroom of a woman who could be mistaken for a panda.

Then again - exactly what does that outfit have to do with a panda in the first place?

See above

 

[tsteele316]

Should have been cleared just for sneaking into the bedroom of a woman who could be mistaken for a panda.

Then again - exactly what does that outfit have to do with a panda in the first place?

Because you have to finesse a panda to get them to put out.

Just because you go for the low brow members of the bear family that don't need any courtship.....

 

[Jagdaddy]

Surgeon Admits to Burning Initials into Transplant Patients' Livers

http://time.com/5063337/simon-bramhall-doctor-signs-livers/

 

[Steve19]

Surgeon Admits to Burning Initials into Transplant Patients' Livers

http://time.com/5063337/simon-bramhall-doctor-signs-livers/

Unbelievable.

 

[Jaxbuck]

Surgeon Admits to Burning Initials into Transplant Patients' Livers

http://time.com/5063337/simon-bramhall-doctor-signs-livers/

someone should imprint their sneaker logo in his ass

 

[Oh8ch]

Think I could get a discount on my next transplant surgery if I let Pepsi print their logo on my new organ?