• Follow us on Twitter @buckeyeplanet and @bp_recruiting, like us on Facebook! Enjoy a post or article, recommend it to others! BP is only as strong as its community, and we only promote by word of mouth, so share away!
  • Consider registering! Fewer and higher quality ads, no emails you don't want, access to all the forums, download game torrents, private messages, polls, Sportsbook, etc. Even if you just want to lurk, there are a lot of good reasons to register!

Headlines You Don't See Every Day (outside of Florida)

Jump to latest Follow Reply
Sort by date Sort by votes
Fla. can't top this. Whole lotta fail here I won't go into but major props to this Chinook crew for a two wheel "landing" on the summit of Mt. Hood to pluck this idiot off.
https://www.kgw.com/article/news/lo...irlifted-from-mount-hood-summit/283-573569963
https://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-...f/2018/07/summit_rescue_underway_for_inj.html
5b4927f1a408e1795ffad6e3
 
Upvote 0
Jake said:
Do not play chess with this man.

View attachment 18107
Click to expand...

I think I've dealt with one of his relatives. My first year out of law school, I clerked for a U.S. magistrate judge and one of my tasks was to figure out and draft orders resolving habeas corpus appeals (state prisoners making last ditch hail mary appeals to federal court on generally specious federal law grounds). Anyway, one dude was seeking release from involuntary commitment to a state mental hospital, and one of his underlying offenses was running 17 consecutive red lights. His defense was that he had stopped for each of them, looked for cross traffic (it was around 2:00 A.M. so there wasn't any), and then safely proceeded. I actually sympathized, but they're still not the same thing as stop signs.
 
Upvote 0
TDunk said:
If Disney World offered this, I would vacation at the Safari experience immediately. But it would still be Florida, so no major news.
Click to expand...

Heh, I've actually discussed what I'd do if certain animals got free from their spaces at Animal Kingdom with another coworker who also knows a bit about our zookeeping dept. Our general consensus was that we're staying in the park to play with the big cats, but if any one of the bachelor group of gorillas gets out, we're locking ourselves up in the nearest bathroom (they are actually designed to be shelters for that purpose).
 
Upvote 0
Yeah... it's The Onion. BUT DAMN!

https://www.theonion.com/elon-musk-insists-he-d-be-much-more-innovative-pedophil-1827630054

Elon Musk Insists He’d Be Much More Innovative Pedophile Than Thailand Rescue Worker
44 minutes ago

PALO ALTO, CA—Doubling down on a recent controversial statement he made about a British cave diver who helped free a youth soccer team from a cave in Thailand, Tesla CEO Elon Musk reportedly insisted Monday that he would be a much more innovative pedophile than rescue worker Vernon Unsworth. “Look, the only insulting thing I was trying to say when I called that guy a pedo was that he represents a laughably simplistic, outdated form of child molesting that is badly in need of disruption from Silicon Valley leaders like myself,” said Musk in a Twitter thread, expressing confidence that he could develop a state-of-the-art, bleeding-edge system for pederasty that would dwarf anything that a conventional “luddite” like Unsworth could even imagine. “I’m not saying I’m going to molest children, but if I did, you’d better believe it would be with a system that would save you the long, time-consuming, and expensive trips to Thailand like this guy takes, one that can deliver attractive Thai youths right to your door. Rest assured that if I wanted to, I could build a scalable global network using the most advanced artificial-intelligence technology to offer maximum efficiency, variety, and convenience to deviants and sickos anywhere in the world.” At press time, a new company Musk launched to build a more innovative system for pedophilia was already valued at $18 billion.
 
Upvote 0
Is somebody in Madison just bitter they haven't gotten their Model 3? Because... :lol:

https://www.theonion.com/new-tesla-model-3-goes-from-zero-to-engulfed-in-flames-1827665727

New Tesla Model 3 Goes From Zero To Engulfed In Flames In 3.5 Seconds
Today 2:23pm

PALO ALTO, CA—Boasting that drivers and critics alike would be awed by the car’s pyrotechnic performance, Elon Musk announced Tuesday that every new Tesla Model 3 sold would be capable of going from zero to engulfed in flames in just 3.5 seconds. “The Model 3 is the most efficient, fastest-burning passenger car available for under $40,000,” said Musk, noting that while previous models needed at least five seconds to reach total combustion, the updated “Ludicrous Temperatures” mode in the Model 3 sends flames shooting through the passenger cabin mere moments after the driver steps on the gas pedal. “Our engineers have designed an innovative, highly responsive, fully electric vehicle that we’re confident in calling the most volatile in its class. Once the fireworks start, Tesla’s unique combination of chemical and electrical flames are three times as persistent as archaic gasoline fires. And the Model 3’s increased range gives our customers the freedom to incinerate themselves farther from home. In these uncertain times, we’re confident in saying the Tesla Model 3 is truly the car of the future.” Tesla’s new line of semitrucks is reportedly expected to explode onto the freight-hauling scene in early 2019.
 
Upvote 0
scarletmike said:
Heh, I've actually discussed what I'd do if certain animals got free from their spaces at Animal Kingdom with another coworker who also knows a bit about our zookeeping dept. Our general consensus was that we're staying in the park to play with the big cats, but if any one of the bachelor group of gorillas gets out, we're locking ourselves up in the nearest bathroom (they are actually designed to be shelters for that purpose).
Click to expand...


QuarrelsomeCanineCow-max-1mb.gif
 
Upvote 0
scarletmike said:
Heh, I've actually discussed what I'd do if certain animals got free from their spaces at Animal Kingdom with another coworker who also knows a bit about our zookeeping dept. Our general consensus was that we're staying in the park to play with the big cats, but if any one of the bachelor group of gorillas gets out, we're locking ourselves up in the nearest bathroom (they are actually designed to be shelters for that purpose).
Click to expand...

Gotta watch out for those bachelor gorillas.

tenor.gif
 
Upvote 0
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top