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likely too offensive for a title

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by BIATCHabutuka, Dec 14, 2004.

  1. BIATCHabutuka

    BIATCHabutuka out of chaos comes playoffs

    sometimes when you indulge in the party favors weird ass conversations start. they never start out as weird as they end up and nobody is sure how they got there when they do but damn does it get interesting when you finally arrive. anyways one came up recently and i figured that some people here may have entertaining or at least thoght provoking opinions.

    the question is was jesus hung.

    i mean being the creator and all that he could have made his dong as big or as little as he liked.

    was jesus vain enough to give himself a big dick. was he modest and had a very tiny dick. did jesus have no need for a dick and was he the origin for the phrase dickless.

    i would honestly be suprised and impressed if anyone has the balls to respond to the question outside of tibor. feel free to ding me for being blasphemous or call me gay or whatever dude. i had this conversation recently and immediately thought that it might be a good fit for the board.
  2. tibor75

    tibor75 Banned

    Since Jebus was the result of a dickless copulation, it stands to reason he had no dick as well.

    Maybe the origin of the term "dickless" refers to the Immaculate Conception?
  3. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

    i thought god was the creator and jesus was his son. maybe i should go to church more.
  4. vrbryant

    vrbryant Ever thus to ____ers Staff Member

    I'm betting that Christ, Jesus H. was too big for some women, but most were incredibly satisfied.
  5. BuckeyeSoldier

    BuckeyeSoldier 2 time Reigning BuckeyePlanet Poker Champion

    I dunno about his dick, but I bet his balls musta been huge to pull off some of the shit he did... then again to be as confident and self-assured as he seemed to be ya know going around telling people he was the messiah... he had to have been hung.
  6. DEBuckeye

    DEBuckeye It ain't easy, bein' cheesy.

    This thread has "we're all going to hell" written all over it....
  7. Thump

    Thump Hating the environment since 1994

    As Brother Jed would say, "You will all rot in a pit of ffiiiiiiirrrrrrrrre!"
  8. stowfan

    stowfan Senior

    Allow me to give you my born again Christian view to this question. The answer to this question can be found in Isaiah 53 Vs 2 and 3. In sum his tool may well have been as embarrassingly small as mine.

    Edit; Merry Christmas and may God bless all of us.
  9. NJ-Buckeye

    NJ-Buckeye They Hate Us cuz They Ain't Us.. Banners are good Staff Member

    If Jesus had something going with prostitute Mary Magdellan... he was hung...
  10. exhawg

    exhawg Mirror Guy Staff Member

    I think it was probably extremely huge. Think about it, when someone says "Jesus Christ" it is usually in relation to being shocked by something (i.e. "Jesus Christ that's a big dick!". Take Mr. Slave from South Park as an example. Any time he is surprised by something he says "Jesus Christ". He had Paris Hilton up his ass so that means to shock him Jesus would have to be really big. Also a woman is much more likely to say "Jesus Christ" in bed if she is having great sex. All of this leads me to believe 2 things. Jesus was well hung, and I am going to hell.

    Maybe you should go to the Louvre to find out. It might be documented somewhere in the Holy Grail. :p
  11. scooter1369

    scooter1369 HTTR Forever.

    Jeremiah 25:16

    "And they will drink and be moved, and be mad, because of the sword that I will send among them."

    Jebus had ample tool.
  12. BuckStocksHere

    BuckStocksHere Semper Fi!

    here here.

    and I might add -

    Lev.24:16 "He that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him."


    stated by Jesus in Matthew 12:31-32 and Mark 3:28-29. Jesus said, “I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come” (Mt. 12:31-32).
  13. stowfan

    stowfan Senior

    Here's the chapter and verse I was referring to. Isiah 53 Vs 2 and 3.

    <SUP id=en-NIV-18714>2</SUP> He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

    <SUP id=en-NIV-18715>3</SUP> He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

    As an interesting side note to this silly thread, Jesus is one of the very few famous people in history that there is no physical description of.
  14. DEBuckeye

    DEBuckeye It ain't easy, bein' cheesy.

    That is interesting. I guess I never realized that. As a kid, you see pictures of Jesus in Sunday school, with the long hair (brown) and beard, and just assume that is how he looked.
  15. AKAK

    AKAK Well, that's like hypnotizing chickens. Staff Member Tech Admin

    Of course.... if you think about where, and when Jesus was born... he probably wouldn't have looked like... well Western European... of course... with an immaculate conception that's not necessarily a hard and fast fact... but I always thought that was interesting. :wink2:

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