I don’t expect for a moment to garner support in this matter, but I’m sick of picking on people who have difficulty forming complete sentences. The following is a series of responses to an article about the so-called ‘Best Damn Band in the Land’, which I have condensed for convenience herein, but which is also viewable in full at this link. Read, and react. It’s something like a zillion words, but don’t act like you’d rather be working.
Note: For clarity’s sake, I appear as ‘The Average Student’, ‘The Above Average Former Student’, ‘A Fake Fan’ and ‘Same Guy’--as well as ‘V. R. Bryant’.
Note: For clarity’s sake, I appear as ‘The Average Student’, ‘The Above Average Former Student’, ‘A Fake Fan’ and ‘Same Guy’--as well as ‘V. R. Bryant’.
1. They would almost be tolerable if they didn’t treat themselves like a branch of the American military. Band, ten hut! Homos.
The Average Student | 2007-11-14 - 03:42:39 PM (CDT)
2. "Average Student" ? Perhaps I should say Average Penn St Student because no Buckeye would make such an idiotic comment about the BDBITL. Seriously dude, try walking around campus on game day calling our band a bunch of homo’s and see where it gets you.
Brutus | 2007-11-14 - 04:01:50 PM (CDT)
3. Alright, fine. I’m not average. I had to live with a ... member of the band my freshman year. Learned a lot about them, whether I wanted to or not. So while the music they play is an intrinsic part of the game day experience, the fact is that most - if not all - band geeks have successfully deluded themselves into believing that the 105,000 people in the stands are there to see them toot their little horns just as much as they are there to see football. Trust me--they’re not. This is all, of course, independent of the ‘little military’ issue. They really do think that because they wear uniforms, they are part of something that resembles the armed forces. It’s kind of perverse, actually. So they very well may be the best band in the land, but they’re still a fucking marching band. And marching bands are inherently gay.
PS Band fags pee in the shower. I’ve seen it.
The Above Average Former Student | 2007-11-14 - 04:24:18 PM (CDT)
4. 1) It’s The Best Damn Band In The Land for a reason and 2) you watch people pee in the shower?
A Real Fan and Former Student | 2007-11-14 - 06:21:56 PM (CDT)
6. In the dorms (specifically in Morrill Tower), the shower stalls face one another. If you were to, say, go to take a shower, and you glanced down, you might notice a bunch of yellow liquid splashing on the shower floor below the opposite stall’s curtain. It would then be reasonable to conclude that the stall’s occupant was peeing on his own faggy feet.
Now, like I said, I truly believe that they are the ‘best in the land’, but again, someone out there has to be the best. Being the best at something doesn’t make the people doing it any less ridiculous. Ever see that guy that stands around downtown hula hooping? Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that he’s the best hula hooper there is. Is he any less of a knob gobbler as a result?
A Fake Fan | 2007-11-14 - 08:48:38 PM (CDT)
7. The ‘average student’ sounds like someone who tried out for the band several times and was never good enough to make it....so, it all of a sudden is a bad thing. Well guess what ‘average student’, they are great, hard-working young men and women who, along with their school, do something meaningful with their lives unlike most ‘average students’ who spend most of their time drinking and partying. While you are out doing that, these people are in a band room or on a band practice field or in the stadium working their hearts out to please the crowd. And, yes, there are lots of people who go to the games to SEE THE BAND. The football game is added great entertainment, but there is nothing better than seeing TBDBITL coming down the ramp. So go ahead and feel as you wish....the rest of us will enjoy the band. Maybe you will be lucky enough some day to have a child that will like the band and be good enough to make it. Ask Jim Tressel what he thinks of the band....just as much as he does his football team, and he is proud to say it.
Buckeye Fan | 2007-11-14 - 01:58:42 AM (CDT)
8. I agree totally with ‘Buckeye Fan’. It is great to see the band coming down the ramp...in fact, I get chill bumps as soon as I see them coming in and the bumps don’t go away very soon because THE BAND adds so much to the gameday with their playing and cheering. You go, TBDBITL. The majority of people love you as much as the football team, so don’t let it bother you when someone like ‘average student’ trys to belittle you. He is probably jealous he is not doing something better with his life than sitting around complaining about the ones who are. And, thank you, UWeekly, for covering THE BAND. It is great to see this kind of recognition, and thanks to the young man who did such a great job covering it. It was a great day for Drew, THE BAND and Bram. It is a shame there always has to be someone try to put a damper on peoples’ great accomplishments.
Go Buckeyes, Go Band, Go Drew and Go Bram!
Another Buckeye Fan | 2007-11-15 - 09:48:37 AM (CDT)
12. "The football game is added great entertainment, but there is nothing better than seeing TBDBITL coming down the ramp."
Added entertainment? Wow. Just like I said--deluded to the very last.
And if you want to know why Tressel says that he likes the band, it’s because he fucking has to. Go to one of his press conferences, or listen to him on the radio sometime. He’ll tell you how dangerous a team the Akron Zips are. Just because your mommy tells you you’re the handsomest boy in the whole school doesn’t mean you’re not a fucking mutant.
Same Guy | 2007-11-15 - 12:34:25 AM (CDT)
14. "The football game is added great entertainment..."
I’m absolutely stunned by this comment. NO ONE outside of immediate friends and family of the band members would hit the stadium on a crisp Saturday to see them walking around playing their instruments. The band add to the atmosphere and tradition, they are supporting cast for the center production, which is the football game. The game itself would be no less without them. Indeed, people are more interested in dotting the I, than they are whatever the band decides to toot out.
See, comments like that are why people generally have no respect whatsoever for the deluded nuts that so often make up marching bands. No one cares outside of you. We’re glad you’re there, but face it, you’re the dancing monkey that adds to the ambiance.
Our band is great, as long as we don’t have to think about it or talk about it. Play the fight song, dot the I, then get out of my field of view, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, shut the hell up. Just toot your horn, and don’t assume for a heartbeat that I respect you just because you do so. You’re not a "hero" because you’re in TBDBITL.
Finally, Bram has a good article here, and provides great insight into the game day experience. By no means should my comments be read as a slight on him, or what HE does in the band. I’m directing my disbelief towards the likes of "Buckeye Fan" and "Another Buckeye Fan," who clearly over-estimate and over-state things to the point where it makes the band look and sound bad.
Sagebrush Flatfoot | 2007-11-15 - 12:53:02 AM (CDT)
17. Buckeyes should be a TEAM....players and band....A TEAM. Nobody is better than someone else because they play or horn, toss around a football or basketball, kick a soccer, ball, etc. etc. Buckeyes and Buckeye Fans are a TEAM. And I think Buckeye Fan and Another Buckeye Fan are great and part of the team also. They obviously just do not like Same Gay and Sagehead (or whatever it is they call themselves) belittleing any part of the TEAM. Be nice to each other.......we are all Buckeyes. Root for our teams and our bands. Okay!
An Older & Wiser Fan | 2007-11-17 - 11:05:08 AM (CDT)
18. Go Buckeyes....you did it. Also, go Band. I saw you right there on the field last night with the football team and Mr. Tressel after the Big Win.......... A Team. It is great that Mr. Tressel started the new tradition of going to the Skull Session with the team and letting the band and the fans know how much the football team appreciates them and Dr. Woods and how much the team needs them. Go Bucks....Go Band....p.s. don’t waste your time posting notes to Flathead and Gay Guy (or whatever they called themselves.....it is not worth my time looking back to see) and it is not worth true buckeye’s & fan’s time responding to them. Ignore them. They need to be ignored, because that is all they are looking for...they want attention. Forget them.
One More Wiser Fan | 2007-11-18 - 11:39:39 AM (CDT)
19. ask a player, off the record, what he thinks about the band. he’ll put that "we’re all on the same team" bullshit to rest real quick. sorry, pal. the players do the work, so the players get the glory. the band is just a band. better yet, ask the guy running the kick back in the 82 cal/stanford game if he thinks the band is just part of the team. lol
bd | 2007-11-19 - 04:00:44 AM (CDT)
20. It’s amazing. The douche baggery just continues to cascade out of your gaping head hole. You seem almost obsessed with putting the band down in any way that you possibly can. I don’t know what deep-seeded bad experience you’ve had with a band member that has made you this irrationally upset, but I think it was a little more than having your feet pissed on in the shower. You just can’t let it go. Who cares if you don’t like the band? You’re insignificant. Ten years from now, no one at OSU will have any idea that you ever existed (thankfully), but the band will still be there. The same a hundred years from now. I’m sorry for whatever little cymbal chick broke your heart but Jesus - it’s time to get over it.
me | 2007-11-19 - 12:01:21 PM (CDT)
21. Not sure why this is, but the people defending the band seem to be far more vehement about their position than those attacking it. Perhaps, initially, the criticism dealt was cheapened by unnecessary insults and digs. Nevertheless, we’re talking about a matter of taste. I have a friend who doesn’t care for sweet potatoes. In point of fact, he despises them. And while I feel that he may just be being difficult, there is no amount of arguing that’s going to change his mind.
To your point, I have no specific deep-seated experiences that have shaped my opinion. I have known enough people in the band to know that I simply do not care for them. It is true; the band, as an institution, will certainly carry on well after any of us (even the band members themselves) will be remembered. And surely, as long as there is a band, it will be filled with just the same sort of person that it is today.
Ultimately, you may be right--maybe nobody does care that I don’t like the band. I assume it is me - the original poster - that you’re speaking to, since I think that SF and BD actually had some relevant points. Can you say without question that a player wouldn’t be insulted by the idea that the band is as important as the football team? Not sure you can.
In any event, apologies to those whom I’ve offended, whose allegiance to the band is so strong. I get the feeling that many (all?) of the defenders are either in the band now or were at some point. I mean really--’little cymbal chick’? Bias aside, I understand the anger. If somebody told me that being a sports writer was a matter of abject homoeroticism, I’d probably be upset too.
V.R. Bryant | 2007-11-19 - 04:50:51 PM (CDT)
22. Wow...I mean...wow. You’re a writer for U Weekly? Wow. That’s...wow. Not only were your comments offensive and ill-founded they are full of blatant homophobia (calling the band ‘gay’, ‘homos’, ‘knob gobbler’, with ‘abject homoeroticism’, etc.). I really am amazed the paper continues to give someone like you a forum. Lyndon Collins is offensive, but regularly has understandable points. You, however, have managed to take something generally good and positive and crap all over it. It’s like we’re fighting over whether or not Sesame Street is a good thing. Yeah, it’s not for everyone and yeah it is kind of ‘gay’ (as you put it), but the vast majority of people either love it, remember a time they loved it, or are more or less indifferent to it. It takes someone pretty special to hate something like that and you, my friend, are pretty special. Now knowing who you are, I’m certain I’ll never crack the pages of U Weekly’s sports section again for fear of momentarily glancing at something you’ve written. I know it means nothing to you, but I’m just...wow.
me again | 2007-11-19 - 01:51:47 AM (CDT)
23. I’m happy to have added to your day. Now, at least, you’ll be able to revel in the idea that you were so horribly offended by something that is - for better or for worse - a matter of opinion. Because really--isn’t that the American dream?
As a post script, I feel it necessary to clarify a few things, if for no other reason that to prevent public misunderstanding.
First, comments that assert one’s opinion are not capable of being ill-founded. Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. Offensive? Sure. I’ve been expressing my distaste for the band for years. Every so often, I’ll run across someone who was either in the band, or has a brother who is, or whatever have you. They get offended, they get over it, they walk away with a sob story. But ill-founded? My assertion that marching bands are fucking stupid is no more ill-founded than is the average Republican’s assertion that Mitt Romney kicks ass. Wait...did that help my point, or hurt it?
Second, ‘blatant homophobia’ is not what has been taking place. I never have, do not now, nor will I ever actually hold the belief that band members are any more homosexual - per capita - than the public as a whole. Want me to clarify? Fruity. Band people are fruity. Feel better?
Third, my position as a sports writer has no bearing on this discussion. Whether I am perceived to be good at my job or not (existing evidence suggests the former), this discussion is completely independent of my ability to report on sports. Frankly, if I really thought that it wasn’t, I would never have relinquished my anonymity.
Fourth, quanitfying something as ‘generally good’ is about as meaningful and reliable as saying that something is ‘generally bad’. I happen to think that human beings are ‘generally bad’, but you will never catch me trying to argue it. It doesn’t really mean anything. I already conceded that the band serves a purpose. What I said precisely was, "the music they play is an intrinsic part of the game day experience." Is the band a good thing? Sure, why not? That doesn’t mean I have to enjoy every single aspect of it.
Finally, to address the matter of whether or not losing a potential reader means anything to me, I can assure you that it does. I am not a sensationalist, as a rule. I do not subscribe to the Stephen A. Smith/Skip Bayless/Jason Whitlock School of Journalistic Philosophy. Saying something incendiary, while effective in terms of provoking discussion, really just makes you look like a shithead. Case in point, I called the band a bunch of sissies, and it undermined my central point--that they, in certain ways, take themselves a little too seriously. A quick illustration of that point: my former roommate once relayed an anecdote about how the ‘band tough guy’ supposedly knocked an opposing fan out because this fan ‘breached their ranks’. I found it ridiculous. Me calling them sissies (or homos, or whatever) is meant purely to deconstruct any reputation the band may have of being ‘tough’.
Regardless, I don’t really have any interest in convincing anyone. No proselytizing going on here. Like the band all you want. Shit--love them. The reality of my perception is that I’ve seen the band run out Script Ohio - in person - about thirty times. I saw it every home game this season. It’s not special to me. That certainly colors my perspective, but clearly you and I (since that’s what this appears to have come down to) are just fundamentally differentiated on the topic. I think marching bands are fucking stupid. Always have. I was asked to join one in high school as a percussionist, and I immediately declined. Just the kind of dude I am, I suppose. What I will say is that I respect your ability to effectively express your thoughts (as offensive and ill-founded as they may be), and I hope that your personal rancor for me does not deter you from enjoying all the other fruits of UWeekly’s raw and wonderfully unfettered content.
Respectfully yours,
V. R. Bryant | 2007-11-20 - 03:10:50 AM (CDT)
26. V.R., Sorry man but your are one dumb SOB.
You want to have a career in journalism and to be respected for your work yet you spend your downtime dragging your paper and yourself down with idotic comments by calling the band a bunch of homo’s ?
How dumb are you ?
What do you think would happen to the career of any respected sports journalist if it become known that in their downtime they go around bashing OSU institutions and making homophobic comments ?
The comments you made were inappropriate for anyone but much less an employee of UWeekly, much less on your own website.
If you did this at the Dispatch, BSB, or basically any other local media you’d be out the door.
Suppose Bob Hunter came onto this forum and called the band a bunch of fags and people got wind of it? What do you think would happen ?
Its a real shame as well because your sports section was one of the only sections of the paper that had some quality content.
zoe | 2007-11-20 - 04:29:36 AM (CDT)
27. Once again, O Holy Crusader du jour, my comments here are independent of the reporting I do on Ohio State (and other) sports. You are correct about one thing; if I worked for the Dispatch, I would have to be more careful about the type of opinions I made public. Then again, that’s part of what writing for an independent paper is all about--just ask Lyndon Collins.
But I made the conscious and calculated decision to step up and take ownership of the comments I made, knowing full well that people disagreed with me. It’s called integrity. Accountability. You like the band, I don’t. It’s as simple as that. I have just as much of a right to hate marching bands as you do to be overly-indignant about it.
So heap it on, please. I am not - despite what you seem to think - in any danger for these comments. I’ve explained my position more than adequately, and I refuse to apologize for it. I went to Ohio State, graduated, and remain involved with the university in a number of ways. I’ve seen, heard and been around the marching band for the entire time. They will be there, forever, just as goofy as they want to be, and I will be there to point it out. It’s a celebration, bitches. Enjoy yourselves.
By the way...if you’ve been enjoying the sports coverage, you should know that I’ve had multiple articles in just about every paper for the past year. So thank you for the compliment.
V. R. Bryant | 2007-11-20 - 02:23:47 PM (CDT)
28. Why would anyone hate the band ? You don’t have to love the band, or buy their cd or anything but still, hating them ? What do they hurt ?
Think about gameday without seeing script ohio ?
Whats a victory without the team gathering and playing Carmen ?
What should we have at half time ? Just silence, the Buckeye Dance Force ?
Bands are a part of a college football.
We are pretty lucky we have one of the best in the country.
brutus | 2007-11-21 - 02:28:38 AM (CDT)
29. How desperate for writers is UWeekly if they don’t mind your actions ?
Lydon Collin’s comments while often crude are made to prove extreme point are worlds apart from yours.
What social commentary were you trying to get at by saying the band is a bunch of homo’s ?
Why pick on the band of all groups as well ?
Would you have the balls to go call the men’s lacrosse or hockey team a bunch of fags ?
zoe | 2007-11-21 - 02:39:39 AM (CDT)
30. This isn’t about balls, Zoe. This about my personal opinion; a critical facet that somehow keeps escaping you people. I apologize that you suffer from whatever affliction it is that prevents you from realizing that what I say is a matter of perspective, but that’s the reality of the situation. I do not like the band--for roughly the seventh or eighth time, I just don’t dig it. Do you like ice dancing? Answer honestly. Actually, fuck all that. How about dog fighting? Do you like dog fighting? Personally, I think that people who enjoy dog fighting are completely despicable. Does that mean that there aren’t people out there who swear by it, who think that it’s the greatest thing since spiral-sliced ham? No--it doesn’t. So get over yourself. Step beyond your limits. Put yourself - if only for a moment - in someone else’s shoes.
If you really want to know (though I know you don’t), I have multiple acquaintances to whom I’ve spoken about this issue, and roughly one-third of them (yes, I counted) have agreed with my assessment--that the band is appealing in practice, but is silly as shit in theory. You want to validate Lyndon Collins? Perfect. Nothing could help my point more. His most recent article is all about the practicality of stereotypes. The prevailing stereotype of band members is that they are awkward, spastic and socially inept outside of the confines of the band itself. Every marching band is a microcosm of normal society, only with a lower ceiling. The ‘band hotties’ are average, when compared to normal folk, and the ‘band tough-guys’ (to whom I’ve already made mention) would get their shit pushed in in a real-world altercation. Some of them joined the band because they loved music. Many joined because they weren’t good at making friends the normal way. Go study a fraternity sometime--same basic concept. These so-called stereotypes, while often exaggerated, are based firmly and inexorably in truth. Chew on that, and return with something meaningful, because that, Zoe, is the epicentre of this discussion.
Now, I have to address one more issue, because the issue in question is something that you and others have clearly been dead set upon exploiting, and I cannot allow it. I’ll begin a new paragraph to make sure you dont miss or dismiss it.
If I call the band ‘gay’, it is not - nor was it ever - because I actually consider them to be any more homosexual in practice than the rest of the populace. News flash, you tottering simps: the word ‘gay’ didn’t always mean ‘homosexual’. It used to mean ‘happy and carefree’. Then it came to mean ‘homosexual’. Then, after a time, it came to mean ‘queer, abnormal, or otherwise worthy of mainstream derision’. Spend five minutes with a roomful of average high school students sometime, and you’ll see what I mean. Language adapts, and people - like me - pay attention. You can drop prone and grasp with all your fingers and toes to the top of your pathetic little soapbox, but I remain, as ever, completely sympathetic to all manners of sexual preference. Would the average homosexual endorse the new connotations of the words ‘gay’ and ‘homo? I couldn’t say. But they had better damn well get used to it, because language is unrelenting. It doesn’t give a fuck who you are or where you come from, and it damn sure doesn’t care if there are supposed to be ‘ten or fewer items’ in the express checkout as opposed to ‘ten or less’.
So keep on hiding behind my supposed bigotry. You may as well, because at this point, it’s the only leg you have left to stand on. If you want to get upset at me, do so. But only do so knowing that it’s because no matter what it is you think you have concluded about me, it is no more reasonable or constructive as what I have concluded about marching bands.
I pray (and I don’t, as a rule) that you’ve read this, Zoe. I really think that comprehending it will have made you a better person.
Forever yours,
V. R. Bryant | 2007-11-21 - 04:20:05 AM (CDT)
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