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mental health hotline

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by chille37, Feb 14, 2005.

  1. chille37

    chille37 Freshman

    Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline. Please choose from any one of the following options.


    If you are an obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; stay on the line while we trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 984764132184.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep. Or after the beep. Or before the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you.

    Have a nice day.
    <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
  2. exhawg

    exhawg Mirror Guy Staff Member

    That's a lot better on the radio when you can listen to it.
  3. chille37

    chille37 Freshman

    I agree, but funny none the less.
  4. exhawg

    exhawg Mirror Guy Staff Member

  5. chille37

    chille37 Freshman

    that's funny shit. I laugh every time.
  6. exhawg

    exhawg Mirror Guy Staff Member

    Me to, my girlfriend wants to give it to her psych prof.
  7. jcfiesta

    jcfiesta Rookie

    Damn Hawg, that would piss me off. Does she let you have other chicks?
  8. exhawg

    exhawg Mirror Guy Staff Member

    No, damnit.
  9. chille37

    chille37 Freshman

  10. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to jcfiesta again.


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