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My views on striking other people... Can they be reconciled?

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jlb1705

jlb1705

hipster doofus
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In light of the recent news about Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice, I began to reflect on my own reactions and philosophies regarding their situations...

I've always believed that there is never a reason for a man to strike a woman unless his safety is well and truly in danger.

I've always believed that corporal punishment of children is a justifiable and effective form of discipline when done with care and restraint.

Can those views be reconciled? How can I be morally opposed to hitting an adult woman in nearly all circumstances, but OK with hitting a child for disciplinary reasons? Does anybody else share these seemingly conflicting views, and how do you justify them? Has anybody here held both of those views, but subsequently changed their mind on corporal punishment?

I guess for me those views have been formed my by experience. I got my ass beat when I acted up as a child, but never felt that I was abused. I watched my father hit my mother and felt angry with him about the abuse and helpless to stop it. I've never really sat and reflected on these things philosophically and tried to figure out why I'm so repulsed by one thing but feel OK about the other.

Full disclosure, I am married with no children yet.

A note about this thread: If anybody turns this into a shit show or uses it to make jokes about abuse, I'll nuke the whole thing.
 
I think it is a very complex and interesting topic. Harsher views on physical abuse is overdue but now we have a generation (or two) where discipline is not handed down and everything is someone else's fault.

I would say our society still has a major problem with abuse in relationships but has gone too far away from harsh discipline for youngsters.
 
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It might not be so hard to reconcile if you were hitting the woman on her bottom to discipline or teach her a lesson... seriously. But as it stand I don't see any need to reconcile them, as they are totally different conversations. Certainly there's no real argument in favor of punching children in the face.

(I should mention I don't know any details in the AP story, don't want to seem like I'm condoning anything crazy.)
 
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I would wager to say that reconciliation isn't needed as there aren't any analogous components other than the use of force.

FWIW, when it comes to corporal punishment for children, I'm not a practioner. Not because I judge others in that means, but because we've chose other means of discipline for our children. I have spanked, but it's been all of two or three times in the lives of my kids. I feel strongly now that it was unnecessary, but it is what it is.
 
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BayBuck said:
It might not be so hard to reconcile if you were hitting the woman on her bottom to discipline or teach her a lesson... seriously. But as it stand I don't see any need to reconcile them, as they are totally different conversations. Certainly there's no real argument in favor of punching children in the face.

(I should mention I don't know any details in the AP story, don't want to seem like I'm condoning anything crazy.)
Click to expand...

Good point.
 
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jlb1705 said:
In light of the recent news about Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice, I began to reflect on my own reactions and philosophies regarding their situations...

I've always believed that there is never a reason for a man to strike a woman unless his safety is well and truly in danger.

I've always believed that corporal punishment of children is a justifiable and effective form of discipline when done with care and restraint.

Can those views be reconciled? How can I be morally opposed to hitting an adult woman in nearly all circumstances, but OK with hitting a child for disciplinary reasons? Does anybody else share these seemingly conflicting views, and how do you justify them? Has anybody here held both of those views, but subsequently changed their mind on corporal punishment?

I guess for me those views have been formed my by experience. I got my ass beat when I acted up as a child, but never felt that I was abused. I watched my father hit my mother and felt angry with him about the abuse and helpless to stop it. I've never really sat and reflected on these things philosophically and tried to figure out why I'm so repulsed by one thing but feel OK about the other.

Full disclosure, I am married with no children yet.

A note about this thread: If anybody turns this into a [Mark May] show or uses it to make jokes about abuse, I'll nuke the whole thing.
Click to expand...

I absolutely try to use every other form of discipline with my kids before even thinking about spanking them. My wife and I have talked about this topic quite a bit since our kids can get unruly. We've both decided to never spank or discipline your child in anger.

I would never hit my wife or any other woman for that matter. I might restrain someone if I needed to defend myself, but there will never come a time where a woman trying to hit me is going to make me retaliate in kind. And yes that may mean I take a bit of a beating as I'm either trying to stop her and/or pin whoever it is down, but I'm not going to cross the line.
 
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Mike80 said:
I would never hit my wife or any other woman for that matter. I might restrain someone if I needed to defend myself, but there will never come a time where a woman trying to hit me is going to make me retaliate in kind. And yes that may mean I take a bit of a beating as I'm either trying to stop her and/or pin whoever it is down, but I'm not going to cross the line.
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Once an individual strikes me, he/she no longer is entitled to not get hit back, regardless of gender. I hate the double standard. Men are supposed to treat women as absolute equals, yet should not be allowed to defend themselves in kind? Either women are equal to men or they are not.
 
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jwinslow said:
I think it is a very complex and interesting topic. Harsher views on physical abuse is overdue but now we have a generation (or two) where discipline is not handed down and everything is someone else's fault.

I would say our society still has a major problem with abuse in relationships but has gone too far away from harsh discipline for youngsters.
Click to expand...
Totally agree. Of course, corporal punishment for children should never rise to the level of injury (bruises, bleeding, etc.), but sometimes a good ol' spanking is definitely needed...
 
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The problem with parents striking children as punishment is often one of the parent being angry and out of control to some degree. How can a parent who is even just a little angry administer a "safe" amount?
Then there are many who won't even acknowledge that they have abused their children because it was done to them as children. Someone was talking to my mother in law about "beating kids" and my mother in law's comment was "I had good kids that never needed beaten"! That's not the stories I have heard from all 3 "kids". And the mother in law was particularly proud when she obtained a razor strap for use. So, there is a culture of abuse going on that is being passed down like some disease. Please, for the love of God don't hit your kids. Or animals.


And as for the hitting of women. When a major network(Fox) has a laugh about the Ray Rice video, than you have a culture of abuse against women. We need to educate everyone that women are equals in all things and should have the same respect given men.
Everyone deserves respect.
 
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Females (as adults) should never be hit. Children need to be disciplined. I don't know if I will spank my kids (don't have any), but that is not out of the question if there are no other ways to make sure they need to be raised. My dad pulled off the belt a few times and I knew I f'd up. And I was worthy of the punishment. My mom is a special needs psychologist and wanted to use words. My dad's way made a bigger impact on me.

There are too many groups trying to tell people how to properly raise kids. But let's take that to the pussification thread.
 
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MililaniBuckeye said:
Once an individual strikes me, he/she no longer is entitled to not get hit back, regardless of gender. I hate the double standard. Men are supposed to treat women as absolute equals, yet should not be allowed to defend themselves in kind? Either women are equal to men or they are not.
Click to expand...

Yeah, not gonna happen. If I cross that line, I will have failed myself.
 
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Funny thing - I actually had to give my son a whack on the butt earlier today. His sister was reading a book on the floor and he decided to do this kamikaze dive knee first towards the middle of her back after I had explicitly told him not to do so.

I wasn't even angry about it, but he did seem to not care about his safety or his sister's, and he got it for that.
 
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