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Never choke in a restaurant in the South...

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by djtidebuck, Feb 14, 2005.

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  1. djtidebuck

    djtidebuck Hang on Sloopy

    Two hillbillies walk into a bar. while having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.

    Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

    One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"

    The woman shakes her head no.

    "Kin ya breathe?"

    The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

    The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

    The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out her mouth.

    As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to bar.

    His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there "Hind Lick Maneuver", but I ain't never seed nobody do it!"
  2. jcfiesta

    jcfiesta Rookie

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Cuz he was dead.
  3. Thump

    Thump Hating the environment since 1994

    What's up with all of these lame ass e-mail jokes getting turned into threads today?

    I think I heard this joke back in Nam.
  4. exhawg

    exhawg Mirror Guy Staff Member

    Were you stationed in Da Nang? How was the log ride?
  5. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

    why did the baby fall out of the tree?

    he was stapled to the monkey
    MililaniBuckeye likes this.
  6. BuckeyeSoldier

    BuckeyeSoldier 2 time Reigning BuckeyePlanet Poker Champion

    why did the tree fall down?

    cuz the monkey wouldnt let go.
  7. jcfiesta

    jcfiesta Rookie

    Dead monkey w/ baby stapled to it cannot grasp a tree. If you stated because monkey was attached to tree w/ spear then maybe I'd buy the tree falling line.
  8. Buckeyeskickbuttocks

    Buckeyeskickbuttocks Z --> Z^2 + c Staff Member

    British accent: How did you come to know so much about Monkeyes?
  9. jcfiesta

    jcfiesta Rookie

    I like my monkey, spank him when he's bad.
  10. Thump

    Thump Hating the environment since 1994

    This thread is going nowhere so..........

  11. Buckeyeskickbuttocks

    Buckeyeskickbuttocks Z --> Z^2 + c Staff Member

    A donny thread go nowhere?

    The hell you say.
  12. scUM Buster

    scUM Buster kick some ass

    Why did the racoon fall out of the tree?

    Because he was tappin' the monkey's ass when he died.

    Later that day...

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