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New Terrorist Threat -- Al Gebra

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by LoKyBuckeye, Jan 7, 2004.

  1. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand. Staff Member

    New Terrorist Threat -- Al Gebra

    At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
    be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while
    in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a

    At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he
    believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is
    being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
    solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
    search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y"
    and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they
    belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates
    in every country.

    "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
    every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

    When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
    wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
    given us more fingers and toes.

    "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is
    intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to
    disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to
    inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding:
    "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our
    point, and draw the line."

    President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the
    potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before
    seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in
    random facts of vertex."

    Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my
    ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they
    continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens
    around their necks."
  2. MililaniBuckeye

    MililaniBuckeye The satanic soulless freight train that is Ohio St Staff Member Tech Admin

    That's funny as Shi'ite!
  3. TSKCoug

    TSKCoug Ambassador from the Cougar Nation in Gatorland

    Great post!

    Though I will voting again for Bush in '04. You had me roaring on that post that is one of the funniest I've seen.
  4. ArtesiaBuckDog

    ArtesiaBuckDog Your next American Idol

    Why doesn't that surprise me? :lol:
  5. 3yardsandacloud

    3yardsandacloud Administrator Emeritus

    Funny stuff LoKy! :biggrin:
  6. TSKCoug

    TSKCoug Ambassador from the Cougar Nation in Gatorland


    Care to elaborate? I get the feeling that you might have more to say. If so, fire away. I'm ready.
  7. ArtesiaBuckDog

    ArtesiaBuckDog Your next American Idol

    Um....little grammar faux for George W. Bush....if I have to elaborate, it's not worth it. :lol: Not making any political statements here, just a joke.
  8. TSKCoug

    TSKCoug Ambassador from the Cougar Nation in Gatorland

    My grammatical blunders....


    You have me! I am indeed guilty of heinous gramatical high crimes! :biggrin: My crimes were aggravated by an obstinate refusal to check my posted message for correct grammar. My haste to post a congratulatory sentiment for the marvelous literary craftsmanship exhibited in the "Al-Gebra" article was my undoing. My manifest guilt was deepened by a further refusal to recognize my abhorrent sentence construction after repeatedly viewing the offending message. On this count I plea that sleep deprivation is a mitigating factor. :biggrin: So I ask the members of the jury to pardon me, excuse this faux pas, and please do not banish me from the domains of Buckeyedom. :oh: :io:

    Your humble ambassador from the Cougar Nation,

    TSKCoug :cheers:
  9. ArtesiaBuckDog

    ArtesiaBuckDog Your next American Idol

    Okay.....dude.....this kind of crap seems to happen to me a lot whenever I make a joke, so apparently I'm not doing it right. So for the record, I didn't say you were a blithering idiot with no command of the English language. In fact, I was pretty positive your grammar mistake was a typo when I originally made the joke. But I hope we can all grasp the irony in a grammar typo contained in a sentence that says one is planning on attempting to re-elect George W. Bush. Tremendously eloquent post, albeit unnecessary if you were attempting to prove any kind of a point to me as to your grammatical abilities or vocabulary. :biggrin:
  10. BuckNutty

    BuckNutty Hear The Drummer Get Wicked Staff Member Bookie

    Making friends again I see, BuckDog :lol:

    I wouldn't make fun of me, I know where you live... :lift:
  11. gbearbuck

    gbearbuck Herbie for President


    I can not believe you would post something like that... if you're going to make a joke, make it funny...

    just ribbin' ya (hey, old timers from the BN board remember when everybody got ribbed for just about anything they posted... some of those ribs were real funny stuff... just remembering the past... sorry... don't get all fired up again about the way "BN used to be")...
  12. ArtesiaBuckDog

    ArtesiaBuckDog Your next American Idol

    Qué el infierno, hombre? Geez. :lol: I must be the Grand High Jackass or something, why haven't you ever clued me in on that? :lol:

    gbear: I'm not an old-timer, but I guess I would've liked those days better 'cause I like to mess with people in good fun but all I ever seem to get for doing it is bitched at by people who apparently want to take me out to the cyber-parking lot or something. :lol: From now on, el silencio es dorado para mi. :biggrin:

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