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OSUsushichic

Fired up! Ready to go!
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are this year's winners:


1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of simply getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: "It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer."

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of them all:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
 
In traffic court a couple of years ago, a guy was trying to lie his way out of DUI for taking someone's keys off of the bar, trying every car util he found a fit (not a big bar) and getting caught spinning donuts in the parking lot. Every time the judge caught him in a lie, the guy claimed to be "dismoralized" by the situation. I laughed so hard, I got reprimanded and forced to sit in the front of the courtroom. It was a truly "dismoralizing" experience.
 
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RugbyBuck said:
Not exactly a new word, but a great line from one of a buddy's clients: "I knew I had the right to remain silent. I just didn't have the ability."
I obviously don't know where that line came from first, but I do know that stand-up comedian Ron White has been using that in his act for quite a while. He is one of the redneck comics in Jeff Foxworthy's little group. I have his DVD "They call me Tater Salad", it's pretty damn funny. He uses that line in the story he tells about getting arrested outside after getting thrown out of a bar.
 
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3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Somebody totally stole that from a Far Side comic. Somebody owes Gary Larson a case of beer.

"The bozone layer: shielding the rest of the solar system from the Earth’s harmful effects." [The cartoon had an atmospheric layer composed entirely of clowns]
- Gary Larson, "The Far Side"

By the way, I thought that was also the new name for Bucknuts?:2004:
 
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