While the sales and marketing force (i.e. the mall Santas) are (for the time being) still in this country, the design and manufacturing of the toys has for some time been off-shored to the North Pole where elves are willing to work for subhuman wages and are often expected to work bizarre hours (while the shoemaker sleeps, etc.) for very little pay (candycanes and cookies) under extreme conditions (minus 50 windchill with 82% humidity). The elves are expected to work 365 days a year and work straight through the holidays with no overtime pay all the while crowded into one big workshop. What's more they're glad to do it so they don't have to work for even more abusive corporations like Keebler that make them work with open flame ovens inside an Oak tree.
How can we compete with that? That would never be allowed by OSHA in this country.
Santa also has dual-redundant backup list-checking software which was written and maintained by Indian elves. That's right, your personal information (i.e. naughty/nice moments, when you're sleeping/when you're awake, etc.) are all being sent across an unsecured network between the North Pole and Bangalore where they are stored on a database that can be accessed by who knows who. Don't even get me started on the crazy sled and reindeer leasing agreement Santa signed with CSI (Caribou Systems International).
At any rate, I suggest we boycott the outsourcing of Christmas by turning the fire up high or boarding up our chimneys... better yet, just do something 'naughty' and you'll get a valuable heating source which can be turned into a diamond.
Merry Christmas,
BitB
