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Sleeping on the couch...AKA Pissed off wife

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by The KSB, Jul 5, 2004.

  1. The KSB

    The KSB 4-4-11/11-5-11


    Warning: Do not try this at home!!!

    Now before I start let me explain that I have a very beautiful wife. She's tall, relatively thin (about 125 - 135 I would guess), and brunette. But she has given birth and it has had its effect. Also my wife has no sense of humor about certain things, her looks being at the top of that list. I take her and our daughter to the beach and we're having a great time. After a couple of hours two fine young blond women who resemble the woman pictured above set up shop right beside us. I can tell that my wife isn't pleased at all with this. She gets kind of quiet and starts walking around with her belly sucked in (I thought only guys did that). After a while I figure I would have some fun with this. Both of the girls next to us are blonde so I ask my wife "Have you ever thought about dying your hair blonde?" NO!! she snapped back. I figured I better drop it for a while. After about a half hour or so I notice the finer of the two young ladies beside us has a blue thong on that was amazing. So I ask my wife "Have you ever thought about getting a blue bikini? Her face turned about three shades of red and she asks "Why do you all of a sudden like blue, is there a reason you'd like to share?" Since my daughter was with us I figured I'd better drop it. Unfortunately, It was already too late. Long story short, she got pissed. I tried to tell her that I was just joking. That just seemed to piss her off more and now I'm camping out on the couch and she's not talking to me. At least I'll be able to catch up on recruiting.
  2. OilerBuck

    OilerBuck Sweet Crude


    Can't live with em...
    Chaff like crazy without em.
  3. osugrad21

    osugrad21 Capo Regime Staff Member

    Reason #36876487687637687628768 why I refuse to get married...The loss of public commentary on little blue thongs is too much
  4. BoxCar_Willie

    BoxCar_Willie The World's Favorite Hobo

    sounds like something that I would do. Good luck getting out of the dog house!!

    You ever move to Arizona?
  5. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

    My wife has no sense of humor. I keep telling her that I need to get her one for her birthday or Christmas.... she doesn't find that funny either. When we fight she leaves and sleeps in the guest room and I get to stay in our bedroom... but then I get the silent treatment for a day or so :lol:

    good luck KSB
  6. ashlandbuck

    ashlandbuck Banned

    I'll get the silent treatment from time to time. When I first figure out she's mad and giving me the silent treatment I'll ask her what's the matter. She'll give me the infamous high toned "nothing", which should be followed by the sound of a Rattlesnake's rattle because I'm backing away at that point.

    In all honesty, I've got a fantastic wife that loves OSU football.
    Ya can't ask for much more than that. :biggrin2:


    Your post reminds me of the "Cheers" episode in which they are sitting around the bar talking and Norm says:
    Women, can't live with'em...and......pass the beer nuts.
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2004
  7. BrutusBobcat

    BrutusBobcat Icon and Entertainer

    That's almost as stupid as some of the things I've said to girlfriends. lol

    One of the worst was one night in bed when the ex was nagging me about something and I accidentally called her "mom". It was a total slip, and to make things even worse, I started laughing so hard that I was crying, and kept laughing for a full five minutes.

    Another time, she's getting undressed (this is a gal who wore nothing but Victoria's Secret stuff) and for some reason, she's got these granny panties on that are definitely NOT VS. So I blurt out, "Damn! Those are some BIG panties!" "WHAT did you say?!?!" "Oh shit. I'm in trouble, aren't I?", followed by me laughing hysterically again.

    Never wound up on the couch, though. :wink:
  8. jlb1705

    jlb1705 hipster doofus Bookie

    Kudos to you, KSB. It may suck to be camping out in the living room, but at least you have maintained a certain degree of dignity and manhood in pissing off your wife, which is more than can be said for a certain best friend of mine. That guy pawned he balls when he got married. He gets in trouble for wearing the wrong t-shirt and tells his wife "he's sorry" every other sentence. He's now the "proud" owner of a chihuahua.

    Let's face it, in this situation, it simply would've been wrong for you to not do what you did. You don't get an opportunity like that every day. You acted like an asshole, and I respect you for it. If it takes something like that to get your wife to kick you out of bed, it sounds like you have a pretty good wife and a healthy relationship.
  9. Brutus1

    Brutus1 Don't be penurious, donate to the BP Spring Dr.

    His name wouldn't be LouisHMartinez, would it ?

    :oh: :io:
  10. FKAGobucks877

    FKAGobucks877 The Most Power-Drunk

    I don't know. I've only been married a little over three years, but I have yet to sleep on the couch. The way I figure it, it's my damn bed, in my damn room, in my damn house. She can get as pissed at me as she wants, but the day she tries locking me out of my bedroom is the day I kick in the bedroom door. If she's too pissed to sleep with me, she can have the couch.
  11. coxew

    coxew Newbie

    That's exactly how I feel. I bought the damn bed and am paying 75% of the mortgage and expenses. Why would I sleep on the couch? My wife and I actually had a nice fight a couple months ago, about a month before our wedding, and she spent the night downstairs.
  12. buckeyebri

    buckeyebri 40 Days in the Hole

    My wife and I have been married for 15 years and of course have had our share of disagreements. I'm like FKA, I still sleep in my own bed. At this point most disagreements just go away after awhile.

    The worst it ever got was the one time I told my wife if she didn't like the way things were, there was the door. That one took awhile to come back from, if you know what I mean.

    I screwed up pretty good this weekend. I was working in the garage and accidentaly knocked some stuff over which hit my wife's new Grand Prix and put a small crease in it. She is very particular about her vehicles. Not that I think it is that bad, but it is going to cost me $400 to fix it.

    Kind of all reminds me of the Seinfeld episode about having hand.
  13. gregorylee

    gregorylee I'd rather be napping!!

    It's things like this that inspired me to build a 4' x 6' dog house. Well, having a dog that is really big was another reason. :wink:
  14. NorthShoreBuck

    NorthShoreBuck True Madness Requires Significant Intelligence


    You need to get your wife some friends.
    My wife has a lot of friends and they have husbands that make me look like a boy scout, OK not that good, but still better than they look. If she starts on me I always remind her that she could be married to so and so.

    I do like the way you posed your questions. Too bad neither of them had big phoney boobs! I could only imagine that question and answer.
  15. DEBuckeye

    DEBuckeye It ain't easy, bein' cheesy.

    This thread is a marriage counselor's hell- or heaven perhaps, given the money to be made getting couples through these incidents. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    I haven't had a couch-inducing fight with my wife yet, but I had some good ones with an old girlfriend a while back. Once she asked if she had "knobby knees" and I replied (truthfully) "yeah, sort of". The worst was when I actually fell for the "do I look fat" question. Any guy knows not to answer that question EVER, but I wasn't thinking and said "maybe a little". :shake:

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