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What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?

...scratching on the lid of her coffin.

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Why didn't Superman save the World Trade Center?

...because he's a quadriplegic.

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How many male chauvenists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

...none. Let that bitch clean up in the dark.

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Why do black men cry during sex?

...pepper spray.

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A man comes home to find his girlfriend throwing his clothes on the lawn. He asks her what the problem is, and she says, "You're a pig - I want you out of my life. I found out the truth about you."

"What do you mean?" he says.

She responds, "You're a pedophile."

"Pedophile, pedophile...wow. That's a big word for a twelve-year-old."
 
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George Bush is talking to an Arab leader at the UN, about TV shows. The Arab leader mentions that his favorite show is "Star Trek", and Bush asks why. "Well, the Arab replies "I like it because the planet earth is united on the show. You see Americans, Africans, Russians, Japanese, everyone working together peacefully on the Enterprise for the good of the planet. The only thing I don't understand is why there are no Arab characters on the show..........." "That's easy," replies Bush "It's set in the future............"
 
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Q: How do you get an Italian girl pregnant?

A. Just come on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

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A fag walks into a bar and spots a huge Puerto Rican sitting on a barstool drinking a beer. The gay guy saunters over to him, leans over and whispers:
"How would you like a blow job?" The big Puerto Rican slams his mug of beer down, grabs the little faggot, drags him out into the alley and beats him to a bloody pulp. He then returns to his barstool, sits down, and begins to drink his beer again. The bartender, who has witnessed all of this from the other end of the bar, walks over and says: "Man, that guy must have really pissed you off. What exactly did he say to you?" The Puerto Rican replies: "I didn't hear all of it, but it was something about a job!"
 
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How do you know if your roommate is gay?



His dick tastes like shit.

I have a second cousin that actually told the above tasteless joke at a family gathering including several elderly women and his mom. That was WAY funnier than the joke.
 
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