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The Talk

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by buckiprof, Mar 3, 2004.

  1. buckiprof

    buckiprof 21st Century Buckeye Man Staff Member

    My oldest boy is 9 (soon to turn 10) and it is time that we sit down and have "The Talk". I am asking any of you who have kids and have given "the talk" for any advice on this. (Unfortunately, I can't fall back on what my father said to me since by the time he got around to it I was already knowledgeable in that area.) So any advice, do's or dont's, that anyone has from experience would be welcome.

    Thanks.
     
  2. gbearbuck

    gbearbuck Herbie for President

    No kids, and like you, my dad was a bit late with "the talk"... (the talk is the birds and bees right)...

    I think in 5th grade most schools dedicate a day or two to sex ed... I don't know what age equals what grade, however he might already have a bit of knowledge as is...

    I would let him know that boys and girls have different body parts, and they are designed to be used to create little babies. I'd also let him know about some of the diseases that can be translated.
     
  3. 3yardsandacloud

    3yardsandacloud Administrator Emeritus

    The Talk goes something like this:

    "Son, Michigan sucks! Always has, always will. There is no debate, no argument, this is a simple fact of life ... don't try and complicate it. Accept it, embrace it, and move on."

    Although, I think you should be having this "talk" much sooner than the age of 10. :biggrin:


    Um, not too sure about the other "talk" ... I'm guessing a strip club is out of the question at 10 years of age?






    Sorry buckiprof, hopefully someone else has some real world experiences to share with you. I haven't crossed that bridge with my son yet.
     
    Deety likes this.
  4. BrutusBobcat

    BrutusBobcat Icon and Entertainer

    I'm 34 with no kids, and never had "the talk" from my own father, but what I'd imagine I would do is start off explaining the importance of love, committment, respect and companionship, and the importance of two people carefully choosing one another to share parenting. I don't know what your religous or spritual beliefs are, but if that is important to you, I would also incorporate what your faith teaches. If you're a Christian, both Jesus and Paul have some very powerful and moving things to say about marraige.

    After laying out a good framework of values, then I'd brush over the biological details while trying not to turn red. :tongue2: If you get an "Ew! That's gross!" you've probably divulged too much. :wink:

    Good luck!
     
  5. MililaniBuckeye

    MililaniBuckeye The satanic soulless freight train that is Ohio St Staff Member Tech Admin

    Just be honest and forthright with your son. Hopefully he's had some sex ed in school which will make it far easier for your talk. If he hasn't, you can make use of the web (and not porn sites!) to look up any "anatomically correct" medical graphics you'd need, very much like those used in sex ed classes. If he's almost 10, chances are good that he's already "played doctor" with a girl around his age, so any graphics of female genitalia (aka "poon") should not freak him out.
     
  6. buckiprof

    buckiprof 21st Century Buckeye Man Staff Member

    3yards - Besides, "dada", I tried to ensure that the 1st words my boys spoke were "Boo Michigan" So that talk has been covered since conception. My wife has already frowned upon trips to a strip club or viewing porno as part of what I called a "field trip".

    gbear - You are right about 5th grade doing some sex ed. He will be in 5th grade next year so I wanted to have the talk before he heard stuff at school from teachers.
     
  7. sears3820

    sears3820 Sitting around in my underwear.... Staff Member

    My dad had "The Talk" with me when I was 15, which was way too late as I had already graduated from humping my hand and had my sights set on couch cushions and empty cardboard toothpaste boxes with warmed up lunch meat inside.


    EDIT: J/K about the toothpaste boxes
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2004
    The KSB and Jagdaddy like this.
  8. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand. Staff Member

    Get a stack of singles and head off to the local strip club... just kidding.

    I'm several years off from having to do this with my boys but my advice would be to be confident when talking to him. Try not to feel embarrassed about having "The Talk". If he can feel that you're comfotable with the topic he will be more likely to come to you with questions rather than go running to freinds or others.
     
  9. ScarletNGry

    ScarletNGry Moderator Staff Member

    Not sure that this will help you any but here goes. My wife and I have decided that instead on letting that whole area of life go until they get to "that age", we would instead try to not hide anything from them and answer questions as they come. Now of course we are not graphic seeing as my children right now are 5 and 2 (both girls mind you) but my 5 year old is familiar with the names of the genital areas of both male and female. I am sure it will be different with a boy (my son is due any day) and when that first question about babies and "what are they doing on TV dad" comes from his mouth, I hope to do the same with him.

    So anyways, I guess I would say to just be honest and don't get too cutesy with terms. Call everything what it is and explain to him that he will have to be responsible for certain actions taken. Definately explain that there are nasty infections and everything else out there. I would just try to guide him into understanding boys and girls are different and always ask questions about anything he is not sure about. Oh yeah, and be ready to answer some personal questions as kids tend to always want to compare answer to mommy and daddy. So if you answer does not add up, it just makes for more explaining later.

    I am not a professional by any means and I will have to ask for help myself I am sure when they get to that age, but I hope this is just going to help when it finally gets to that time in their lives.
     
  10. 3yardsandacloud

    3yardsandacloud Administrator Emeritus


    :lol: Excellent buckiprof. Maybe your wife would OK just you taking a "fact finding" mission out in the "field" so to speak. This is your son and you don't want to skimp on the information. He deserves the best and most well rounded knowledge a father can provide. :biggrin:

    Anyway, good luck with the "Talk", I'd be interested to know what your son's reaction will be.

    Sears, the thoughts in your head seem to be turning into text on a computer screen all across the planet (BuckeyePlanet) ... are you aware of this phenomenon? WAY too much info. :shake: :wink:
     
  11. sears3820

    sears3820 Sitting around in my underwear.... Staff Member

    I'll tone it down a notch.

    But anyone out there who says he hasn't tried to hump his davenport is a liar.
     
  12. 3yardsandacloud

    3yardsandacloud Administrator Emeritus

    :lol: :lol: Ah, just kidding you Sears. The warmed lunch meat is funny (and sick). So is anytime you can work the word "davenport" into a post.
     
  13. BuckNutty

    BuckNutty Hear The Drummer Get Wicked Staff Member Bookie

    All this "talk" talk got me thinking. Am I the only who never learned the birds and bees from my parents? Maybe they just figured it was my brothers' job? I don't recall ever discussing it, although I did have HBO in my bedroom when I was a kid :wink:

    3yards, keep your comments to yourself please! :biggrin: :p
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2004
  14. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand. Staff Member

    You're not alone Nutty. I never heard it from my parents. My dad told me he going to give me the talk one time but for some reason he never did. I hope he doesn't plan on doing it anytime soon.... I mean I have two kids (with a third on the way), it's a little late :biggrin:
     
  15. buckeyebri

    buckeyebri Embrace the Hate

    I never got the "talk" either. My dad just said to me if there was anything I wanted to know or if I had questions about anything I should just ask.

    So do you think 13 was too young to ask for money for a pack of condoms???

    I just have one daughter, who is almost 13. I have been explaining things to her in much different terms than I think I would a son.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2004

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