OSUK
Sometimes lucid, mostly confused
You don't have to read into this forum on virtually any thread to find someone making a reference to porn - almost universally in a joking, dismissive manner as if it is a harmless thing to be laughed at.
I told my son to treat porn like heroin - just something he should avoid altogether - and the reasons I gave him were not moral. I had seen too many men sitting in front of me in tears whose marriages and other relationships were ruined by pornography addiction. They hated themselves and their guilt was over-whelming. These men had engaged in fantasy for so long that they could not have sex with a real woman, and they couldn't have normal non-sexual relationships with women. I knew porn is not harmless from trying to help these guys, and I mentioned that on some threads when I confronted some posters who stated, as fact, that porn was harmless. They dismissed the idea that this has real negative consequences.
This Time article (I subscribe and I can't post a link because it's not out for free yet) is something those guys should read. I've heard the same stories many times before. Basically the stories consist of men who had regular porn exposure as kids, teens, and into adulthood who found that they were unable to perform sexually with a real live woman, and who hurt women in a variety of ways because of the attitudes porn fostered in them to view women as purely sexual objects. And they sound the alarm that we need to do more to educate boys about the dangers, and do what we can to prevent exposure (no pun intended). One man said, "Quitting porn is one of the most sex-positive things people can do." Another said, "I just want to enjoy sex again and feel the desire for another person. Another said, "The Reboot Nation movement started for one reason - young guys wanting to have functioning penises. Nothing to do with morals."
The Time article does note the dearth of actual research available. It's interesting that we are a sex obsessed society, and there are tons of experts and therapists in the area, but we haven't really studied the impact of porn on people's sexual behavior. The strongest evidence is anecdotal and testimonial in nature. For guys who are struggling sexually it is pretty simple: "If you can get a boner with porn and you can't get a boner without porn, that's about as hard as evidence gets in my opinion."
Have at it.
I told my son to treat porn like heroin - just something he should avoid altogether - and the reasons I gave him were not moral. I had seen too many men sitting in front of me in tears whose marriages and other relationships were ruined by pornography addiction. They hated themselves and their guilt was over-whelming. These men had engaged in fantasy for so long that they could not have sex with a real woman, and they couldn't have normal non-sexual relationships with women. I knew porn is not harmless from trying to help these guys, and I mentioned that on some threads when I confronted some posters who stated, as fact, that porn was harmless. They dismissed the idea that this has real negative consequences.
This Time article (I subscribe and I can't post a link because it's not out for free yet) is something those guys should read. I've heard the same stories many times before. Basically the stories consist of men who had regular porn exposure as kids, teens, and into adulthood who found that they were unable to perform sexually with a real live woman, and who hurt women in a variety of ways because of the attitudes porn fostered in them to view women as purely sexual objects. And they sound the alarm that we need to do more to educate boys about the dangers, and do what we can to prevent exposure (no pun intended). One man said, "Quitting porn is one of the most sex-positive things people can do." Another said, "I just want to enjoy sex again and feel the desire for another person. Another said, "The Reboot Nation movement started for one reason - young guys wanting to have functioning penises. Nothing to do with morals."
The Time article does note the dearth of actual research available. It's interesting that we are a sex obsessed society, and there are tons of experts and therapists in the area, but we haven't really studied the impact of porn on people's sexual behavior. The strongest evidence is anecdotal and testimonial in nature. For guys who are struggling sexually it is pretty simple: "If you can get a boner with porn and you can't get a boner without porn, that's about as hard as evidence gets in my opinion."
Have at it.
