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to hell with Christmas

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The KSB

The KSB

4-4-11/11-5-11
My mother won a free fully decorated artificial Christmas tree at some sort of auction and decides to give the damn thing to my wife, because we "need" one. Well the damn thing makes it to my door without me knowing anything about it. So when the delivery guy shows up at my door with this shrink wrapped monstrosity the first thing I tell him is to take it back 'cause nobody in my house ordered it. Well, apparently the guy wasn't too happy about working on Sunday and copped an attitude with me. He tells me that he's just going to leave the stupid thing in my yard and I can do with it what I want to. So I tell him maybe I want to shove it up his ass. About this time my wife pokes her head out the door and yells to my daughter that our Christmas tree is here. So this smug jerk delivery guy puts on the big shit eating grin and drops the damn tree on the ground and walks off. So now I have to figure out a way of getting this piece of crap in my house. The damn thing must have weighed about a figging ton but I finally managed to get it in my house. I had told my 4 year old daughter to go to her room so as to avoid hearing "Daddy words." Well she must have snuck back out to watch because once I finally got the stupid thing in the house and set up and the shrink wrap pulled off she walks up behind me and says in a loud excited voice that the whole house could hear "That's the most beautiful cocksucker I've ever seen." :shake:
 
Great story, especially with your daughter's reaction. I remember delivering those bastard things at a furniture store I worked at while in undergrad (at Kent State). We used to be able to only get two into the truck at a time and had to deliver two dozen in a day. After the first year the boss jacked up the delivery price because they were so hard to deliver and we had to send two ladies out to each house afterward to fix everything we broke in transit. There just is no good way to move those things.
 
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I'm pissed because only 1/2 of the lights strung on my porch work. The red and green lights work just fine, but the orange and blue lights on the string do not turn on. All of the wires seem plugged in the same-no obvious problem, plus it is not one of those things where 1 one busted light shorts out the string. Any amateur electrical engineers out there?

Kent-good story-i'd be laughing my ass off if I were the delivery guy too......
 
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stx - sounds like your problem is that you're using gay-ass christmas lights (not that there's anything wrong with that). :biggrin:

Try just using the clear lights, those are the best. Orange and blue are the colors of Syracuse, not christmas.
 
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fake trees suck! you have to get the real tree and get the sap all over your hands and spend 4 days washing it off, then the wifey has to vacuum the floor everday to get the needles up, fake trees suck! Nothing like walking into the house and smelling the pine from a real tree, that air spray shit is just that, shit!

fake trees suck
 
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