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- Thread starter OSUsushichic
- Start date
OregonBuckeye
Semper Fi Buckeyes
OSUsushichic;1062985; said:I love Sarah Silverman.
Thanks for the link though.
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Plato: "One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
So ... fucking ... true.
So ... fucking ... true.
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Yogi Berra Quotes:
The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands.
You can't think and hit at the same time.
If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.
If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping.
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.
If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.
Never answer an anonymous letter.
90% of the game is half mental.
It's never happened in the World Series history - and it hasn't happened since.
I'm as red as a sheet.
It's not too far, it just seems like it is.
If you don't set goals, you can't regret not reaching them.
Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting.
We were overwhelming underdogs.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
You mean now? (When asked for the time.)
We have a good time together, even when we're not together.
Little League baseball is a good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets and the kids out of the house.
The future ain't what it used to be.
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Pair up in threes.
Don't get me right, I'm just asking.
I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question.
You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left.
90% of short putts don't go in.
We made too many wrong mistakes.
Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself. (After being told he looked cool.)
We're lost, but we're making great time!
If people don't want to come to the ball park, how are you going to stop them?
How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name. (Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "Bearer".)
I'd say he's done more than that. (When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.)
He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light. (On the acquisition of Rickey Henderson.)
I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn't find it.
If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
You better cut the pizza in four pieces. I'm not hungry enough to eat eight.
I don't know, I'm not in shape yet. (When asked what size cap he wanted.)
I want to thank you for making this day necessary. (On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in 1947.)
I don't remember leaving, so I guess we didn't go.
I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it. (When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.)
I usually take a two hour nap, from one to four.
Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.
It gets late early out there. (Referring to the sun conditions in left field at the stadium.)
It was hard to have a conversation with anyone - there were too many people talking.
I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.
Texas has a lot of electrical votes. (During an election campaign - after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.)
You can observe a lot just by watching.
No, you didn't wake me up. I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.
I really liked it. Even the music was good. (When asked if he liked the opera one evening.)
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
Shut up and talk.
Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" To this, Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
Carmen said "I took Tim to see Doctor Zhivago today." Yogi replied, "What the hell's wrong with him now?"
The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands.
You can't think and hit at the same time.
If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.
If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping.
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.
If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.
Never answer an anonymous letter.
90% of the game is half mental.
It's never happened in the World Series history - and it hasn't happened since.
I'm as red as a sheet.
It's not too far, it just seems like it is.
If you don't set goals, you can't regret not reaching them.
Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting.
We were overwhelming underdogs.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
You mean now? (When asked for the time.)
We have a good time together, even when we're not together.
Little League baseball is a good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets and the kids out of the house.
The future ain't what it used to be.
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Pair up in threes.
Don't get me right, I'm just asking.
I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question.
You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left.
90% of short putts don't go in.
We made too many wrong mistakes.
Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself. (After being told he looked cool.)
We're lost, but we're making great time!
If people don't want to come to the ball park, how are you going to stop them?
How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name. (Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "Bearer".)
I'd say he's done more than that. (When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.)
He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light. (On the acquisition of Rickey Henderson.)
I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn't find it.
If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
You better cut the pizza in four pieces. I'm not hungry enough to eat eight.
I don't know, I'm not in shape yet. (When asked what size cap he wanted.)
I want to thank you for making this day necessary. (On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in 1947.)
I don't remember leaving, so I guess we didn't go.
I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it. (When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.)
I usually take a two hour nap, from one to four.
Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.
It gets late early out there. (Referring to the sun conditions in left field at the stadium.)
It was hard to have a conversation with anyone - there were too many people talking.
I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.
Texas has a lot of electrical votes. (During an election campaign - after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.)
You can observe a lot just by watching.
No, you didn't wake me up. I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.
I really liked it. Even the music was good. (When asked if he liked the opera one evening.)
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
Shut up and talk.
Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" To this, Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
Carmen said "I took Tim to see Doctor Zhivago today." Yogi replied, "What the hell's wrong with him now?"
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ScriptOhio
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Why Some Athletes Can't Get Regular Jobs
The danger of having just any sports figures as role models for kids....
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
(Now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.''
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."
Ah, but they ride to the bank in a Mercedes...
The danger of having just any sports figures as role models for kids....
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
(Now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.''
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."
Ah, but they ride to the bank in a Mercedes...
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My favorite from Steve Martin was left off the earlier list:
"I think women should be placed on a pedestal....
High enough so you can see up their dress."
"I think women should be placed on a pedestal....
High enough so you can see up their dress."
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