Where do our lost socks go?

[ImFrigginFly]

They couldn't have gone far. They were transported from our feet, to a laundry hamper, to a washer, to a dryer, and perhaps back to a hamper before getting sorted for replacement back in our drawers. However, these rascally, smallest pieces of clothing we wear (banana hammock wearers are in the minority for that particular detail) seem to disappear forever.

Who or what is to blame? The Sock Eating Laundry Monster? Who has all of our socks? The perpetrator either has no fashion/comfort sense or a futuristic sense of such, to be wearing unmatching socks, or even just one sock. And why socks? Every once in a while I'll find a few washed dollars in my pants pocket, why not take that? Or is that this beast's way of reimbursing us? Could this thief be, in fact, a charitable one?

In any event, I know I can not be the only one that demands answers.

Thoughts?

 

[Saw31]

Touring with the Chili Peppers...

 

[Muck]

What we know as 'socks' are the larval stage of large interdimensional creatures similar in appearance to giant terrestrial cephalopods. They survive by eating the dead skin off the bottom of our feet. Once they have injested enough food they transform into a pupal stage that is just out of phase with our reality.

You know how sometimes when you go to the bathroom at night you feel like you've stepped on something but when you flip the lights on you can't see what it was? That's the pupae waiting to hatch into the adult form.

 

[DubCoffman62]

I think they go through that same portal that lets bugs into our houses. I've had so many flies lately and I can't figure out how they get in.

 

[Muck]

I've had so many flies lately and I can't figure out how they get in.

Get rid of the dead hooker in your closet and the problem will clear itself up.

I came back to Ohio & spent a few months staying at my dad's in 93. Came home on day to find thousands of those damn chinese beetles that look like lady bugs swarming all over the kitchen ceiling. Gah. That was the first time I had ever seen one of them, let alone an infestation. To top things off the damn things gave off a noxious yellow goo when killed.

 

[Buckeneye]

There is a other dimension - a portal opened by your drier.
The heat and the spinning produces a hole in space and time.
Always takes one, maybe two socks. Never
Of the same pair. Neigh, that would be to kind to simply replace
A pair of socks. I must go through and stumble upon the mismatch
While folding laundry.

 

[DubCoffman62]

Get rid of the dead hooker in your closet and the problem will clear itself up.

I came back to Ohio & spent a few months staying at my dad's in 93. Came home on day to find thousands of those damn chinese beetles that look like lady bugs swarming all over the kitchen ceiling. Gah. That was the first time I had ever seen one of them, let alone an infestation. To top things off the damn things gave off a noxious yellow goo when killed.

Not yet, I still haven't got my money's worth yet.