Another good man down...

[Fungo Squiggly]

Agree 100%. The whole wedding thing is exhausting. Spend 10% of the cost and spend 2 weeks somewhere really cool.

Yes, yes, yes. We, more specifically me, went super-cheap on the wedding. I printed our own invitations and RSVP notes, as well as bulletins. My wife made her own dress and I wore a regular suit. Fuck matching bridesmaid dresses and tuxes. The reception was in the church basement. My wife made the cakes and we did deli trays for the food.

Even with a fairly small guest list (<100 people, I think) we ended up with more cash than we started with. WIN!

 

[Ttown]

Yes, yes, yes. We, more specifically me, went super-cheap on the wedding. I printed our own invitations and RSVP notes, as well as bulletins. My wife made her own dress and I wore a regular suit. [censored] matching bridesmaid dresses and tuxes. The reception was in the church basement. My wife made the cakes and we did deli trays for the food.

Even with a fairly small guest list (<100 people, I think) we ended up with more cash than we started with. WIN!

I love it, you cheap (censored), I just had some guy I knew say he was a preacher and pretend to marry us in the back of some church, somewhere. We didn't invite anyone but the parents.

 

[BigWoof31]

Prenup. Even if you only have a collection of 1990's pennies, get a prenup.

This is a truth bomb. GET THAT SHIT DONE

 

[sepia5]

I printed our own invitations . . . .

That's a great idea. I'd recommend using these:

Sample Wedding Invitation

 

[BUCKYLE]

Sucker.

 

[The KSB]

Agree 100%. The whole wedding thing is exhausting. Spend 10% of the cost and spend 2 weeks somewhere really cool.

Congrats again Wood

I got engaged on Christmas of 98 and got married on January 16 of 99 in Niagra Falls during one of the worst blizzards I have ever experienced. Nothing like upstate New York in the winter. The only people willing to make the trek were my parents. Her friends and family were too scared of the roads and mine were too drunk to drive that far. I would still take that over a traditional wedding.

 

[Piney]

Notes for the wedding/married life:

-From what you have already said you may have a bridezilla on your hands. Stay out of her way.
-She will ask for your input, but all she really wants is for you to agree with her. Unfortunately she isn't going to tell you what she wants you to say so you have to read her mind.
-You need to live with her before you get too far into this. It isn't too late to back out if you can tell that you aren't going to be able to stand her in a few years. Better to break off the engagement than to have her chase you down with a 9 iron in a few years.
-There is a difference between getting engaged and getting married. Just because you are engaged doesn't mean you need to rush the wedding date. I got engaged in July and we didn't set a date until November. Wife wanted June of the next year, but I pushed it back to the following year since I knew there was no chance that we would be ready.
-There are battles to fight, make sure you choose the correct ones.
-I hope you have a good porn collection. You will need it in a year or two (except when she wants to get pregnant, then you will wish that you weren't having so much romanceless baby-making sex).
-I hope you aren't paying for the wedding. You will be amazed how much money goes out. If you are paying for it and she start wanting ridiculous amount of money for a dress or other crap you need to cut her off. If she doesn't see reason it's good that you find it out now.
-Don't expect more out of your friends than you would be willing to return. Nothing pisses off groomsmen more than being forced to spend a ton of money on one of their friends. Think about this before choosing a location for the wedding or bachelor party, picking a tux, or anything else that they will need to spend money on.
->$100 for a tux is too much. Your buddies will love you if you can get it under $80. My best friend got his for $50. I'm not sure about prices on bridesmaid dresses, but a sure way for her to piss off her friends is to pick a ridiculous dress that costs a fortune. My wife has been in that situation twice and it has pissed both of us off that the bride could give a shit about how much money she is making her friends spend.

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm only a couple years in. Good luck.

This should be the gospel for anyone getting married...

Highlighted the most important item. For the wedding... do you really care about flowers? invitations? cake? Fight for the important stuff... food, bar & honeymoon. She thought she 'won' enough other battles to let me have my way with what I cared about.

Married life is the same way. Be willing to let her have her way on things you really don't care about, or should care about or really stuff that isn't important. That way when you REALLY want something you are more likely to win that battle. It keeps her happy, and you get to do enough stuff to keep yourself happy.

Also, what baebuck said about not having kids right away... IS PRICELESS!!! Enjoy the first few years of married life. Plus it lets you know if you can handle kids. Cuz divorce in itself is bad, but a divorce when you have kids is even worse. If after 2 years your marriage really is rocky, don't think having a kid will solve all of your problems.

 

[BuckeyeFlorida]

Thanks for all of the quality advice you all have provided. Some of it applicable, some of it funny, but it all served a purpose!

I wouldn't say she has been Bridezilla in any sense of that word, especially when compared to those nuts cases on T.V. She's just really excited. I made her wait a long time.

I can tell you we have been dating for 7.5 years and living together for 4.5, so I think we both generally know what we are getting into with each other. The best advice is already been utilized (picking your battles), but I'll keep that right at the top of the list for future reference.

I don't know how long I can keep her biological clock at bay since she's getting older.

Congrats WOOD on the wedding... best of luck to you!

Basebuck - Currently I am the poor one in the relationship, but when I mentioned pre-nup last night in joking manner she was unamused. Perhaps not the best idea?

 

[Bleed S & G]

Only intelligent thing I've heard Kanye say:

Holler we want prenup! (We want prenup, yeaaahhhhhhh)

 

[BuckeyeFlorida]

In your opinion, which would you prefer? A winter wedding in NJ with lots of different food, open bar OR a winter Keys wedding for the same $$$, but you'll be offered less food options (but plenty of food) and an open bar?

 

[Ttown]

In your opinion, which would you prefer? A winter wedding in NJ with lots of different food, open bar OR a winter Keys wedding for the same $$$, but you'll be offered less food options (but plenty of food) and an open bar?

Crawl into a cubbyhole with a few cases of your favorite libation 2 days before the wedding. don't come out for a week or until the radioactive cloud goes away.

 

[buckeyefool]

In your opinion, which would you prefer? A winter wedding in NJ with lots of different food, open bar OR a winter Keys wedding for the same $$$, but you'll be offered less food options (but plenty of food) and an open bar?

Can't lose either way with the Open Bar.

 

[BigWoof31]

Can't lose either way with the Open Bar.

Tough call either way. Winter in NJ is hell - but could be close to casino gambling and bright lights of Atlantic City!

Key West is lots of fun with better weather - but not really much going on outside of the bars. But oh - the bars are awesome. Almost every one does a $10 all you can drink special at night.

 

[Basebuck]

In your opinion, which would you prefer? A winter wedding in NJ with lots of different food, open bar OR a winter Keys wedding for the same $$$, but you'll be offered less food options (but plenty of food) and an open bar?

Keys or NJ. That's like comparing the Bahamas and Pakistan. Give me the Key's and peanut butter sandwiches with PBR.

 

[Steve19]

Thanksgiving I asked and she said yes... :)

The ink hadn't even dried, so to speak, and the wedding planning fury had already started. Less than 4 days out and guest lists are already on paper. Man is my head spinning. I've already had to diffuse her mom, still working to figure out why my mom is upset... GEEZ!

Do things ever calm down?

Listen. Stop embarrassing yourself in front of the guys. Your arse is sunk. Would you step in front of a school of piranha in a feeding frenzy? Would you tug on Superman's cape? Do you really think that you will have any say over whether things get done in Florida or New Jersey?

Seasoned advice:

1. Practice "uh-huh". Say it right now, "uh-huh".
2. Anytime you get asked a question, respond with "what do you think?" This is very important. You can ask it during a football game and she or her mother or whatever will then talk and talk.
3. Stay alert. When you hear her take a breath, say "uh-huh".
4. Make eye contact from time to time and nod knowingly. Do it right now while looking in the mirror, nod knowingly.
5. Now, say "uh-huh".

Advanced course:

1. Look for signs of frustration. If her speech begins to slow or she rotates into your field of vision to see if you are really listening, this is a dangerous situation.
   1. Do not panic even if caught.
   2. Look into her eyes and keep smiling.
   3. Nod knowingly.
   4. Then say, "I think you might really be on to something there."
2. Master technique. Use this only if she is showing frustration or beginning to slow down and it is during an important point in the game.
   1. Look at her and then look away toward the television.
   2. Now, look back and say, "You know, the more I think about this, the more I think that you may be right. But I guess what I am wondering is, how do feel about that? "

Now, get on back to it. Put these masterful insights into practice and keep the code. Bros before...oh, nevermind...