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Here's a Question

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DubCoffman62;1944800; said:
OK, I've cooled off and it's really strange what brought back down to Earth. I helped her of course because I knew she was in a dire straits and what she was asking for wasn't going to make me miss a meal, it never is, it's just that she nickels and dimes me so much. Anyway, I sitting in a parking lot and I noticed this bird out on the hot pavement. It looked like it was desperately thirsty, it's beak wide open like it was panting, trying to figure out how to stay alive. It then struck me that my friend was a lot like this bird, just trying desperately to stay afloat in this world. I know that she hates asking for so many favors from me but she knows that I'm the one person that's always comes through for her. When you look at the big picture it's only a little bit of money. I do wish she'd learn to take care of the little that she has but I guess that just isn't going to happen. She's a good person with a good heart but not too savvy nor shrewd with her dinero. Yes it's my fault for not telling her no but hey, that's life. And no, I don't make her pay for these favors by sacrificing her dignity.
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Are you saying that when she asks for favors, she's panting and has her beak wide open? I'm starting to understand why the money keeps changing hands.
 
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DubCoffman62;1944800; said:
I know that she hates asking for so many favors from me but she knows that I'm the one person that's always comes through for her.
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Obviously, it's your prerogative what you do with your money. Just be prepared to relive the above statement over and over again. People don't learn responsibility when they're perpetually enabled by others.
 
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muffler dragon;1944880; said:
Obviously, it's your prerogative what you do with your money. Just be prepared to relive the above statement over and over again. People don't learn responsibility when they're perpetually enabled by others.
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Yes, you're right. At some point I guess I'm going to have to let her twist in the wind.
 
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DubCoffman62;1944896; said:
I knew it had to be pretty simple.
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It really is (in principal anyways).

You know what your options are....either cut her off & risk having her resent you or continue to loan her money & keep resenting her.

Alternately you can decide that being able to help a friend is a small price to pay for their friendship & let go of the anger that you've been letting build up.
 
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Muck;1944904; said:
It really is (in principal anyways).

You know what your options are....either cut her off & risk having her resent you or continue to loan her money & keep resenting her.

Alternately you can decide that being able to help a friend is a small price to pay for their friendship & let go of the anger that you've been letting build up.
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It is. If I were to need something (other than money) she'd be the first person to help me in any way she could. I guess I get so angry because I've tried talking to her about taking better care of her money and learning to help herself rather than constantly relying on others.
 
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DubCoffman62;1944908; said:
It is. If I were to need something (other than money) she'd be the first person to help me in any way she could. I guess I get so angry because I've tried talking to her about taking better care of her money and learning to help herself rather than constantly relying on others.
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You just described three of my wifes four sisters. :lol:
 
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DubCoffman62;1944908; said:
I guess I get so angry because I've tried talking to her about taking better care of her money and learning to help herself rather than constantly relying on others.
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Well ultimately you're acting as an enabler for her. As long as she knows she has a safety net (you) she's less likely to change her behavior.

You're going to have to decide if her behavior is self destructive enough that you feel you need to cut her off in order to force her onto a better path (and potentially lose her as a friend) for her own good.
 
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Muck;1944920; said:
Well ultimately you're acting as an enabler for her. As long as she knows she has a safety net (you) she's less likely to change her behavior.

You're going to have to decide if her behavior is self destructive enough that you feel you need to cut her off in order to force her onto a better path (and potentially lose her as a friend) for her own good.
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You're right.
 
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BTW

This-thread-is-useless-without-pictures.gif
 
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