1. PLAY BY PLAY FROM A MICHIGAN PARTY
My wife is a scrapper. Darn good if I may say. Does a lot of really creative things and totally immerses herself in a project once she gets an idea.
So it was that two years ago when she brought me her latest project made of only two colors - scarlet and gray - with our address prominently displayed, that I knew I would be hosting a Michigan party.
Nothing against parties. But I have never let anyone outside family observe my bizarre behavior during Michigan games. And more to the point, who to invite? It needed to be couples. And they bring wives. And wives rarely get it. They don't understand that while before and after the game, during the half, and to a lesser extent during commercials you can tell me about your kids, your job, and your annoying neighbors. I may even make eye contact.
And when the game is going you can still talk. Talk all you want. Talk loudly. But only talk to the TV. Talk to the talking heads, the coaches, or the players themselves. Offer suggestions. Curse the refs. Encourage the players. But don't talk to me. Just don't do it. It took my wife years to figure this one out and I am not training you.
Out of hot peppers? There will be a time out soon enough. Need to find a restroom? Wait till the half or use the carpet. Having a heart attack? Maybe you should have stayed home.
And what about kids? Sure, you can relegate them to the basement rec room. But at some point - most likely during a key drive - one of them will come running upstairs looking for a fire extinguisher or bandages and gauze.
But I got lucky. I put together the right group two years ago and the few who didn't quite understand all the rules were quickly trained. Little more than a few harsh looks and the occasional eye role were required.
So when my wife showed me this year's creation - including faux tickets indistinguishable from originals - it was this group that was invited back. Same people - same menu - same everything. We were one and oh and nothing was changing.
One lady in particular - Toni - really gets it. After our three play sequence of dropped snap, slip, slip, she left the room. Couldn't watch. Sat in a chair in the kitchen where you could barely see the TV and only if nobody was in your line of sight.
And unfortunately for her she was still there when we started our drive for the first TD. Unfortunate because that was now her seat. If things are going well you don't change them. Just as my place had become pacing in the kitchen, 20 feet from the screen, hers had become a wooden kitchen chair that had been shoved aside and was perpendicular to the action with an obstructed view. And I didn't have to tell her that was her chair - she knew.
So later in the half during a time out when my wife invited her back to the sofa, I abandoned any pretense of an inside voice and bellowed -
Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She stays where she is! If things go south again she can move, try to change the karma - but not till then. Toni nodded in agreement.
"But you have been moving" my wife replied.
"Pacing." I said. "Pacing". And I have been doing it the whole game. I do it every Michigan road game for as long as the issue is in doubt.
Then she brought up people going to the restroom, or getting up to eat. So I had to explain the rules.
2. THE RULES
During every game, and every game day, and every week leading up to a game we all do thousands of things. They aren't all the same and for the most part it doesn't really matter. But some of those things we do consciously. Purposefully.
If you don't pay attention to what sox you wear, it doesn't matter what sox you wear. But if you put on one red sock with little Santas and one gray sock with little geese and you do it to help the team, and subsequently the team wins - those become your game sox. If you wore them all week before last year's game - you wear them the week before this year's game, even to the big job interview. (If your prospective boss doesn't understand you don't want to work there anyhow.)
Toni knew when she sat in that chair it mattered. In fact she left the room in an effort to change what was happening on the field. And it worked. So that became her chair.
I was pacing. And even though it wasn't working early I knew that the problem was lack of focus - not a need to quit pacing. I always pace and it always works. Hasn't failed in over two years (I parked in the wrong spot for Illinois and was in Florida - where I had never been for a game - this past January). So it didn't matter where I paced or that while I was pacing I picked up anything edible within my reach and shoved it in my mouth - because I wasn't aware of what I was eating and the cosmic karma was undisturbed.
And why are these the rules?
Because that is the way God intended it.
Or, for our Darwinists - because that is the way things evolved. Or, for our Buddhists - it is the truth that has been revealed. Or, for those who wonder why we all can't just get along - the result of some sort of intelligent design.
In any case, those are the rules.
No other explanation is forthcoming.
3. LEBRON
Nice he thinks of himself as a part of the U (can you even IMAGINE his "one and done" year). And I found his drawn out introduction of "Chris... BEEEANIE... Wells" interesting. But what was he implying? That Chris is the man? Herbie was dead on. It would take more than a running game to beat Michigan. Something close to JT's goal of 200 rushing and 250 passing. Sorry Lebron - but it will certainly take a lot more than just Chris Beeeanie Wells to beat Michigan.
4. 10:08 MARK OF THE FIRST QUARTER
That was the first time a ball went off of Mario's hands. But it was near the end of the half before Herbie uttered the quote of the game:
"Mario Manningham makes that play EVERY SINGLE TIME."
Followed two plays later by:
"Mario Manningham makes that play... nine times out of ten."
In all I counted five catchable balls - a total that matched his five actual catches. For a net of 34 yards. A long of 10. A performance that made him arguably Michigan's player of the game on Offense.
5. AND NOW FOR A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS
At this point there is a gap in the tape. Seven minutes where I can't report on the game. Perhaps this is when Henton snuck onto the field for a snap or two. Maybe this is where Saine ran the secret play that was being set up all season by JT running him out of the backfield hither and yon. I really don't know. For these are the seven minutes that followed the first showing of the Beyonce' commercial. And it took those seven minutes for the blood to return to my brain.
I will rewatch this game if for no other reason than to find out what she was selling so I can buy some and cast my economic ballot for more of the same.
To quote Ted Knight from the old Mary Tyler Moore Show "Every woman in the free world should have a dress like that."
6. A NASTY SEQUENCE
Bobbled snap.
Slip.
Slip.
Three play sequence results in 4th and 28. We punt. Michigan drives for a field goal (they had 8 first downs in the game and four were on that drive - two others were on PI calls).
The doubts began to creep in.
After Earle beat him in his last game at OSU Bo - surprisingly - made statements to the effect that as bad as it hurts to lose, this one didn't hurt that bad. Even he appreciated the vindication of Earl's firing (coaching fraternity and all that).
So I started to think about LLLLLoyd. He does have integrity. He doesn't embarrass the Big Ten - at least not off the field. He does deserve better than to go out a loser - to finish with four straight L's in The Game and a losing record overall.
And I thought about all those young men who came back. Who passed up the NFL. Who fought through injuries. Who came back from the losses. Who wanted this game so desperately. Those young men who - regardless of what we like to say out loud - are much like our own young men and who would have to live with that 0-4 record for the rest of their lives unless we - who knew the pain and whose cupboards were so full - spared them this one crumb.
And I thought to myself'......
........Fuck Michigan!
7. BACK COME THE BUCKEYES
Things had already started to change. Michigan's deepest penetration of the game came on their longest play of the game - a 12 yard run by Hart. Up to that point Michigan had not been stopped for negative yards on any of their 11 plays. But on four of the next six they were. And in their last 12 plays of the first half they threw 5 incompletions and were stopped for negative yards 4 times. The DL had planted their flag in the middle of the LOS.
A 56 yard drive capped by Whaley blowing his man away as Beanie buried Englemon gave us the lead.
That was when - recognizing Toni's predicament - I raced to the basement during a TO for red duct tape (no other color would do). With it I marked off the area for her line of sight. No one was allowed to stand in that area while a play was being run. She had to stay in her chair - but she could darn well watch the game.
8. ANTI TRESSEL BALL
If you are one of the few who still doesn't appreciate Tresselball I hope you got to see the Oregon game on Thursday. Mike Stoops went into the second half with an inferior team and a big lead and gave Oregon every opportunity to come back. Pass after pass. Turnover after darn near turnover. Couldn't button it up. Driving me frickin crazy. A game we needed them to win and he didn't know how to lock it away. Had JT been coaching that game there would have been 4 less possession for each team in the second half.
Our guy has a clue. That is why I was shocked when ......
9. JUST BEFORE THE HALF
"Go downfield. Throw the ball downfield".
Admit it. You said it too. Not much time on the clock. Our D was looking good. Let's give it a try - maybe get three. Wouldn't a 7 point lead be nice at the half? Put them on their heels?
And then he did it. Violated his own rules. And paid the price.
"Don't listen to us you fool! We don't know what we are talking about. Play Tresselball for God's sake! Don't blame us. You are the coach!"
Stupid Tressel. Always crossing us up and shit.
So here was Michigan with a chance. The ball at our 34. Time for three passes. Time for three incompletions. Time for a missed FG. Time had run out on Michigan. They just didn't know it.
10. HALFTIME
Here is an easy trivia question. When is the last time LLLLLLoyd Carr beat JT in the battle of adjustments at half time?
LLLLLLoyd is obviously announcing his retirement on Monday. Some are speculating that he will quit coaching before the bowl game.
However, I have it on good authority - from an unnamed inside source - that he actually quit coaching before the OSU game.
His biggest mistake this season was beating Illinois.
Had he lost that game they fall to fourth behind Wisky. He still goes to a bowl, but a garbage bowl. One he can win.
As the second place team they play a real opponent - one from the SEC no less. Another lump for the Big Ten.
But at least they end one streak. After losing their last two games of the season for three straight years - this year they can lose their last three.
11. THE PHONES ARE RINGING FOR ME AND MY PALS
I have two brothers and a good friend who call me regularly during games. Or they did until the DVR craze put us all a little behind via the pause button (the first thing we now say when the other answers is "are you live"?). But they know that for Michigan I will stay live and the green light is on.
So just into the third quarter I am surprised to hear the phone ring when Michigan has the ball. One second later my cell begins to ring as well. Then I remember that we paused for about two minutes to start the second half. Something is coming. I know it. (I do NOT answer either phone of course.)
So when the punt comes back for a TD I know the flag somehow must be against Michigan. It is not. What the hell?
Then comes the run.
Make that The Run.
Make that The Run Two - The Sequel to 2006.
I'm confused at first. Why are they replaying last year's game?
Ankle. Thumb. Knee. Hamstring How much would he play this week? Speculation that Boom Herron might have to take the red shirt off.
Twenty-first carry of the game (21st of a season high 39).
Reads, Cuts, Power and Speed.
Archie. Eddie. Beanie.
Yes, I know who Keith Byars is. But I am calling it now.
David Francis. 1962. 186 yards. Most ever by a Buckeye against Michigan.
Until Saturday. 222 by a Sophomore.
For all their glory and all their wonderful moments in S&G their best performances in THE Game were:
Archie - 163
Keith - 115
Eddie - 104
Those last two combined are 3 yards short of Beanie's 222. Boeckman threw 13 passes Saturday - two in the second half. Herbie was wrong. Lebron was right.
No longer must we say he will be one of our all time greats. He has arrived.
12. WIT AND WISDOM OF MIKE HART
"I'd rather lose to Appalachian St. than Ohio State".
He ought to know.
13. THEY CAME BACK
They could have gone, but they came back.
They wanted to win the NC.
They wanted to win the Big Ten.
They wanted to beat Ohio State.
So they came back.
They came back to lose to a lower division school.
They came back to lose four regular season games.
They came back to finish unranked.
They came back to force their coach into an awkward retirement speech.
They came back to prove that their brash statements about what would happen if they played us again were nothing more than the hot air that inflates Mike Hart's ego.
They came back to go 0-4 against the Buckeyes.
They have that. They will always have that.
Till the day they die.
14. DEFENSE
Not to blow my own horn (especially since it is so hard on my back) but I think I nailed it better than Herbie last week:
What a team effort. Good old fashioned smash mouth Big Ten football.
Here is another trivia question. Who led the team in solo tackles this season?
Laurinaitis lead the team in total tackles. No surprise there. But he was second on the team in solos with 39. Second by a lot.
First was Marcus Freeman. With 60. Twenty-one more than the oft described "best defensive player in the country". Eight of those came Saturday.
And Saturday I saw some of the most well executed pass interference plays you will ever see. Don't make those plays and who knows? Don't argue the calls. We were not going to let them beat us deep and they didn't. Michigan's two longest gains of the day were the two PI calls. There are no Yards after catch on a PI call. As lost as the DBs were against Illinois they were magnificent Saturday. Yards after catch? Forgedaboudit. When your longest pass play is 10 yards you know the coverage is solid and the scheme is on target.
And of course there was pressure. Gholston was a man possessed. First sack on Jake Long all season. Three official and several more that were close. Thirty four tackles on the season and thirteen were sacks. Hard to watch that game and imagine he was not the player of the game. But for Beanie......
But he wasn't alone. There was Denlinger. There was Larimore. But when you rewatch look for a play that ended at the 3:18 mark of the second quarter. Henne got the ball off, so no sack even though Gholston hit him just after the release. But don't watch Gholston. Watch Heyward pushing Jake Long all the way back to the QB and landing him on his butt into Henne at the same time Gholston was getting there. Absolutely manhandled him. If he stays healthy this kids is first team AA next year.
Ninety one yards. Three and out after three and out. And they not only stopped Hart's body - but by game's end they even slowed his mouth. After one of his few solid runs in the fourth quarter he looked up at the defender as though to jaw - then simply turned and walked away. It took four years, but he finally understands.
Michigan ran 29 plays in the second half. Fourteen were incomplete passes and seven were rushes or sacks for negative yardage.
15. TIME FOR A JOKE
A Michigan joke and a Blonde joke rolled into one:
ImageShack - Hosting :: img4304qm6.jpg
16. NUMBERS? YOU WANT NUMBERS? I GOT YOUR NUMBERS.
NINETY ONE
Ninety one yards.
With an offense that features FIVE players projected to be drafted in the top eight at their positions (a list which does not include Arrington).
In a game that had been circled, underscored and highlighted for an entire year.
In your Head Coaches final game.
At home.
Ninety one yards.
Nine less than one hundred.
Eight less than the number of bottles of beer on the wall.
Fifty six less than the RPMs of Mike Hart's mouth.
One hundred thirty one less than Beanie Wells shoved in your face.
Ninety One.
FIFTEEN
Fifteen yards net rushing.
That is one Shawn Crable personal foul.
That is as many yards as failed Michigan third down conversions.
Fifteen squared is only three more than the two hundred and twenty two that Beanie put between your tackles. (To appreciate the power of squares - the square of Beanie's yards is 49,284.)
ONE
One. The number of timeouts LLLLLLoyd took with him as a souvenir. That is how sound a statement OSU made. When other teams were trying onside kicks to trigger miracle comebacks LLLLLLoyd just said "screw it". I can't take any more. I will just take my one time out, my 10% commission on the sale of Gold Pants from Zales, and head off into the sunset.
TWELVE
Twelve yards. Longest play of the game for Michigan. Longest run of the day for a player who had spurned the NFL to prove that if he played OSU again the outcome would be different.
Beanie had FIVE carries of twelve yards or longer and one carry that was more than five times twelve.
TEN
Ten yards. Longest completion by a four year starter in his final game against the opponent he spurned the NFL to defeat.
And my favorite two numbers.
ONE POINT FIVE AND ONE POINT SEVEN
1.5 - Michigan netted one point five yards per offensive play. There is a number you can turn into a rug. That is this year's game tattoo. 1.5. A number even CW couldn't defend.
1.7 - The average number of wins over Michigan by Jim Tressel in ANY two year period since he came to Ohio State is 1.7 or better.
You want numbers. We got numbers. 14-3? That's just the start of the numbers we got.
17. ALL HAIL TRESSEL
This wasn't my first game of Tresselball. I knew JT had sized them up and determined the game was won after the second TD. But that wasn't enough to stop the pacing - or to allow Toni out of her self imposed exile.
In the fourth quarter OSU had five possessions and Michigan four. Michigan's only first down was on a PI call. OSU's only first downs came on their final drive.
Yet not until Beanie rolled for his final 17 yards - making LLLLLLoyd's final time out irrelevant - did I take Toni by the and, lead her to the sofa, and plop my own fat ass in the Barcalounger.
We put the ball on the ground three times. We were intercepted once and were minus one on turnovers. We netted 30.8 yards per punt for our worst performance of the season. We had 50 yards passing.
Yet we dominated as much as in any Michigan game I can recall.
So when JT elected to take a knee on the final play it was a statement louder than Woody's "Because they wouldn't let me go for three." spoken of 40 years earlier. And beneath the meager final score of 14-3 lay a sounder drubbing than the 50-14 tally of that long ago day.
18. PERSPECTIVE
I am sure my perpetual ramblings on perspective get old. But the perspective we get from experience is what enables us to understand what is right in front of us.
The Carr era is over. The Tressel era is not. Wins may come tougher. But they will come. I worked in an industry where process was at a premium. Tressel is a man of process. He is about doing the right things, the small things, and doing them consistently. And when the right people meet the right processes good things happen.
None of that is changing in Columbus any time soon. We may lose some juniors. But where are we lacking in depth? We may lose some coaches. The line is long of folks waiting to apply.
Illinois will get stronger under Zook. MSU will get stronger under Dantonio. Michigan should get stronger under a new coach (nobody should be hoping they continue their current trend). And that is all good. The biggest problem I have with this season is that it was too easy. Too few challenges - not too many.
We will lose some games. Even some that we shouldn't. Welcome to College Football. But there are some hellacious football teams coming to Columbus Ohio. And in the mean time if you are still hung up on the NC and can't celebrate 11-1 find a new sport. This was a great year. NC or no - this was one hell of a year.
Someday the Tressel era will end. But not yet.
Savor it.
My wife is a scrapper. Darn good if I may say. Does a lot of really creative things and totally immerses herself in a project once she gets an idea.
So it was that two years ago when she brought me her latest project made of only two colors - scarlet and gray - with our address prominently displayed, that I knew I would be hosting a Michigan party.
Nothing against parties. But I have never let anyone outside family observe my bizarre behavior during Michigan games. And more to the point, who to invite? It needed to be couples. And they bring wives. And wives rarely get it. They don't understand that while before and after the game, during the half, and to a lesser extent during commercials you can tell me about your kids, your job, and your annoying neighbors. I may even make eye contact.
And when the game is going you can still talk. Talk all you want. Talk loudly. But only talk to the TV. Talk to the talking heads, the coaches, or the players themselves. Offer suggestions. Curse the refs. Encourage the players. But don't talk to me. Just don't do it. It took my wife years to figure this one out and I am not training you.
Out of hot peppers? There will be a time out soon enough. Need to find a restroom? Wait till the half or use the carpet. Having a heart attack? Maybe you should have stayed home.
And what about kids? Sure, you can relegate them to the basement rec room. But at some point - most likely during a key drive - one of them will come running upstairs looking for a fire extinguisher or bandages and gauze.
But I got lucky. I put together the right group two years ago and the few who didn't quite understand all the rules were quickly trained. Little more than a few harsh looks and the occasional eye role were required.
So when my wife showed me this year's creation - including faux tickets indistinguishable from originals - it was this group that was invited back. Same people - same menu - same everything. We were one and oh and nothing was changing.
One lady in particular - Toni - really gets it. After our three play sequence of dropped snap, slip, slip, she left the room. Couldn't watch. Sat in a chair in the kitchen where you could barely see the TV and only if nobody was in your line of sight.
And unfortunately for her she was still there when we started our drive for the first TD. Unfortunate because that was now her seat. If things are going well you don't change them. Just as my place had become pacing in the kitchen, 20 feet from the screen, hers had become a wooden kitchen chair that had been shoved aside and was perpendicular to the action with an obstructed view. And I didn't have to tell her that was her chair - she knew.
So later in the half during a time out when my wife invited her back to the sofa, I abandoned any pretense of an inside voice and bellowed -
Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She stays where she is! If things go south again she can move, try to change the karma - but not till then. Toni nodded in agreement.
"But you have been moving" my wife replied.
"Pacing." I said. "Pacing". And I have been doing it the whole game. I do it every Michigan road game for as long as the issue is in doubt.
Then she brought up people going to the restroom, or getting up to eat. So I had to explain the rules.
2. THE RULES
During every game, and every game day, and every week leading up to a game we all do thousands of things. They aren't all the same and for the most part it doesn't really matter. But some of those things we do consciously. Purposefully.
If you don't pay attention to what sox you wear, it doesn't matter what sox you wear. But if you put on one red sock with little Santas and one gray sock with little geese and you do it to help the team, and subsequently the team wins - those become your game sox. If you wore them all week before last year's game - you wear them the week before this year's game, even to the big job interview. (If your prospective boss doesn't understand you don't want to work there anyhow.)
Toni knew when she sat in that chair it mattered. In fact she left the room in an effort to change what was happening on the field. And it worked. So that became her chair.
I was pacing. And even though it wasn't working early I knew that the problem was lack of focus - not a need to quit pacing. I always pace and it always works. Hasn't failed in over two years (I parked in the wrong spot for Illinois and was in Florida - where I had never been for a game - this past January). So it didn't matter where I paced or that while I was pacing I picked up anything edible within my reach and shoved it in my mouth - because I wasn't aware of what I was eating and the cosmic karma was undisturbed.
And why are these the rules?
Because that is the way God intended it.
Or, for our Darwinists - because that is the way things evolved. Or, for our Buddhists - it is the truth that has been revealed. Or, for those who wonder why we all can't just get along - the result of some sort of intelligent design.
In any case, those are the rules.
No other explanation is forthcoming.
3. LEBRON
Nice he thinks of himself as a part of the U (can you even IMAGINE his "one and done" year). And I found his drawn out introduction of "Chris... BEEEANIE... Wells" interesting. But what was he implying? That Chris is the man? Herbie was dead on. It would take more than a running game to beat Michigan. Something close to JT's goal of 200 rushing and 250 passing. Sorry Lebron - but it will certainly take a lot more than just Chris Beeeanie Wells to beat Michigan.
4. 10:08 MARK OF THE FIRST QUARTER
That was the first time a ball went off of Mario's hands. But it was near the end of the half before Herbie uttered the quote of the game:
"Mario Manningham makes that play EVERY SINGLE TIME."
Followed two plays later by:
"Mario Manningham makes that play... nine times out of ten."
In all I counted five catchable balls - a total that matched his five actual catches. For a net of 34 yards. A long of 10. A performance that made him arguably Michigan's player of the game on Offense.
5. AND NOW FOR A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS
At this point there is a gap in the tape. Seven minutes where I can't report on the game. Perhaps this is when Henton snuck onto the field for a snap or two. Maybe this is where Saine ran the secret play that was being set up all season by JT running him out of the backfield hither and yon. I really don't know. For these are the seven minutes that followed the first showing of the Beyonce' commercial. And it took those seven minutes for the blood to return to my brain.
I will rewatch this game if for no other reason than to find out what she was selling so I can buy some and cast my economic ballot for more of the same.
To quote Ted Knight from the old Mary Tyler Moore Show "Every woman in the free world should have a dress like that."
6. A NASTY SEQUENCE
Bobbled snap.
Slip.
Slip.
Three play sequence results in 4th and 28. We punt. Michigan drives for a field goal (they had 8 first downs in the game and four were on that drive - two others were on PI calls).
The doubts began to creep in.
After Earle beat him in his last game at OSU Bo - surprisingly - made statements to the effect that as bad as it hurts to lose, this one didn't hurt that bad. Even he appreciated the vindication of Earl's firing (coaching fraternity and all that).
So I started to think about LLLLLoyd. He does have integrity. He doesn't embarrass the Big Ten - at least not off the field. He does deserve better than to go out a loser - to finish with four straight L's in The Game and a losing record overall.
And I thought about all those young men who came back. Who passed up the NFL. Who fought through injuries. Who came back from the losses. Who wanted this game so desperately. Those young men who - regardless of what we like to say out loud - are much like our own young men and who would have to live with that 0-4 record for the rest of their lives unless we - who knew the pain and whose cupboards were so full - spared them this one crumb.
And I thought to myself'......
........Fuck Michigan!
7. BACK COME THE BUCKEYES
Things had already started to change. Michigan's deepest penetration of the game came on their longest play of the game - a 12 yard run by Hart. Up to that point Michigan had not been stopped for negative yards on any of their 11 plays. But on four of the next six they were. And in their last 12 plays of the first half they threw 5 incompletions and were stopped for negative yards 4 times. The DL had planted their flag in the middle of the LOS.
A 56 yard drive capped by Whaley blowing his man away as Beanie buried Englemon gave us the lead.
That was when - recognizing Toni's predicament - I raced to the basement during a TO for red duct tape (no other color would do). With it I marked off the area for her line of sight. No one was allowed to stand in that area while a play was being run. She had to stay in her chair - but she could darn well watch the game.
8. ANTI TRESSEL BALL
If you are one of the few who still doesn't appreciate Tresselball I hope you got to see the Oregon game on Thursday. Mike Stoops went into the second half with an inferior team and a big lead and gave Oregon every opportunity to come back. Pass after pass. Turnover after darn near turnover. Couldn't button it up. Driving me frickin crazy. A game we needed them to win and he didn't know how to lock it away. Had JT been coaching that game there would have been 4 less possession for each team in the second half.
Our guy has a clue. That is why I was shocked when ......
9. JUST BEFORE THE HALF
"Go downfield. Throw the ball downfield".
Admit it. You said it too. Not much time on the clock. Our D was looking good. Let's give it a try - maybe get three. Wouldn't a 7 point lead be nice at the half? Put them on their heels?
And then he did it. Violated his own rules. And paid the price.
"Don't listen to us you fool! We don't know what we are talking about. Play Tresselball for God's sake! Don't blame us. You are the coach!"
Stupid Tressel. Always crossing us up and shit.
So here was Michigan with a chance. The ball at our 34. Time for three passes. Time for three incompletions. Time for a missed FG. Time had run out on Michigan. They just didn't know it.
10. HALFTIME
Here is an easy trivia question. When is the last time LLLLLLoyd Carr beat JT in the battle of adjustments at half time?
LLLLLLoyd is obviously announcing his retirement on Monday. Some are speculating that he will quit coaching before the bowl game.
However, I have it on good authority - from an unnamed inside source - that he actually quit coaching before the OSU game.
His biggest mistake this season was beating Illinois.
Had he lost that game they fall to fourth behind Wisky. He still goes to a bowl, but a garbage bowl. One he can win.
As the second place team they play a real opponent - one from the SEC no less. Another lump for the Big Ten.
But at least they end one streak. After losing their last two games of the season for three straight years - this year they can lose their last three.
11. THE PHONES ARE RINGING FOR ME AND MY PALS
I have two brothers and a good friend who call me regularly during games. Or they did until the DVR craze put us all a little behind via the pause button (the first thing we now say when the other answers is "are you live"?). But they know that for Michigan I will stay live and the green light is on.
So just into the third quarter I am surprised to hear the phone ring when Michigan has the ball. One second later my cell begins to ring as well. Then I remember that we paused for about two minutes to start the second half. Something is coming. I know it. (I do NOT answer either phone of course.)
So when the punt comes back for a TD I know the flag somehow must be against Michigan. It is not. What the hell?
Then comes the run.
Make that The Run.
Make that The Run Two - The Sequel to 2006.
I'm confused at first. Why are they replaying last year's game?
Ankle. Thumb. Knee. Hamstring How much would he play this week? Speculation that Boom Herron might have to take the red shirt off.
Twenty-first carry of the game (21st of a season high 39).
Reads, Cuts, Power and Speed.
Archie. Eddie. Beanie.
Yes, I know who Keith Byars is. But I am calling it now.
David Francis. 1962. 186 yards. Most ever by a Buckeye against Michigan.
Until Saturday. 222 by a Sophomore.
For all their glory and all their wonderful moments in S&G their best performances in THE Game were:
Archie - 163
Keith - 115
Eddie - 104
Those last two combined are 3 yards short of Beanie's 222. Boeckman threw 13 passes Saturday - two in the second half. Herbie was wrong. Lebron was right.
No longer must we say he will be one of our all time greats. He has arrived.
12. WIT AND WISDOM OF MIKE HART
"I'd rather lose to Appalachian St. than Ohio State".
He ought to know.
13. THEY CAME BACK
They could have gone, but they came back.
They wanted to win the NC.
They wanted to win the Big Ten.
They wanted to beat Ohio State.
So they came back.
They came back to lose to a lower division school.
They came back to lose four regular season games.
They came back to finish unranked.
They came back to force their coach into an awkward retirement speech.
They came back to prove that their brash statements about what would happen if they played us again were nothing more than the hot air that inflates Mike Hart's ego.
They came back to go 0-4 against the Buckeyes.
They have that. They will always have that.
Till the day they die.
14. DEFENSE
Not to blow my own horn (especially since it is so hard on my back) but I think I nailed it better than Herbie last week:
What a team effort. Good old fashioned smash mouth Big Ten football.
Here is another trivia question. Who led the team in solo tackles this season?
Laurinaitis lead the team in total tackles. No surprise there. But he was second on the team in solos with 39. Second by a lot.
First was Marcus Freeman. With 60. Twenty-one more than the oft described "best defensive player in the country". Eight of those came Saturday.
And Saturday I saw some of the most well executed pass interference plays you will ever see. Don't make those plays and who knows? Don't argue the calls. We were not going to let them beat us deep and they didn't. Michigan's two longest gains of the day were the two PI calls. There are no Yards after catch on a PI call. As lost as the DBs were against Illinois they were magnificent Saturday. Yards after catch? Forgedaboudit. When your longest pass play is 10 yards you know the coverage is solid and the scheme is on target.
And of course there was pressure. Gholston was a man possessed. First sack on Jake Long all season. Three official and several more that were close. Thirty four tackles on the season and thirteen were sacks. Hard to watch that game and imagine he was not the player of the game. But for Beanie......
But he wasn't alone. There was Denlinger. There was Larimore. But when you rewatch look for a play that ended at the 3:18 mark of the second quarter. Henne got the ball off, so no sack even though Gholston hit him just after the release. But don't watch Gholston. Watch Heyward pushing Jake Long all the way back to the QB and landing him on his butt into Henne at the same time Gholston was getting there. Absolutely manhandled him. If he stays healthy this kids is first team AA next year.
Ninety one yards. Three and out after three and out. And they not only stopped Hart's body - but by game's end they even slowed his mouth. After one of his few solid runs in the fourth quarter he looked up at the defender as though to jaw - then simply turned and walked away. It took four years, but he finally understands.
Michigan ran 29 plays in the second half. Fourteen were incomplete passes and seven were rushes or sacks for negative yardage.
15. TIME FOR A JOKE
A Michigan joke and a Blonde joke rolled into one:
ImageShack - Hosting :: img4304qm6.jpg
16. NUMBERS? YOU WANT NUMBERS? I GOT YOUR NUMBERS.
NINETY ONE
Ninety one yards.
With an offense that features FIVE players projected to be drafted in the top eight at their positions (a list which does not include Arrington).
In a game that had been circled, underscored and highlighted for an entire year.
In your Head Coaches final game.
At home.
Ninety one yards.
Nine less than one hundred.
Eight less than the number of bottles of beer on the wall.
Fifty six less than the RPMs of Mike Hart's mouth.
One hundred thirty one less than Beanie Wells shoved in your face.
Ninety One.
FIFTEEN
Fifteen yards net rushing.
That is one Shawn Crable personal foul.
That is as many yards as failed Michigan third down conversions.
Fifteen squared is only three more than the two hundred and twenty two that Beanie put between your tackles. (To appreciate the power of squares - the square of Beanie's yards is 49,284.)
ONE
One. The number of timeouts LLLLLLoyd took with him as a souvenir. That is how sound a statement OSU made. When other teams were trying onside kicks to trigger miracle comebacks LLLLLLoyd just said "screw it". I can't take any more. I will just take my one time out, my 10% commission on the sale of Gold Pants from Zales, and head off into the sunset.
TWELVE
Twelve yards. Longest play of the game for Michigan. Longest run of the day for a player who had spurned the NFL to prove that if he played OSU again the outcome would be different.
Beanie had FIVE carries of twelve yards or longer and one carry that was more than five times twelve.
TEN
Ten yards. Longest completion by a four year starter in his final game against the opponent he spurned the NFL to defeat.
And my favorite two numbers.
ONE POINT FIVE AND ONE POINT SEVEN
1.5 - Michigan netted one point five yards per offensive play. There is a number you can turn into a rug. That is this year's game tattoo. 1.5. A number even CW couldn't defend.
1.7 - The average number of wins over Michigan by Jim Tressel in ANY two year period since he came to Ohio State is 1.7 or better.
You want numbers. We got numbers. 14-3? That's just the start of the numbers we got.
17. ALL HAIL TRESSEL
This wasn't my first game of Tresselball. I knew JT had sized them up and determined the game was won after the second TD. But that wasn't enough to stop the pacing - or to allow Toni out of her self imposed exile.
In the fourth quarter OSU had five possessions and Michigan four. Michigan's only first down was on a PI call. OSU's only first downs came on their final drive.
Yet not until Beanie rolled for his final 17 yards - making LLLLLLoyd's final time out irrelevant - did I take Toni by the and, lead her to the sofa, and plop my own fat ass in the Barcalounger.
We put the ball on the ground three times. We were intercepted once and were minus one on turnovers. We netted 30.8 yards per punt for our worst performance of the season. We had 50 yards passing.
Yet we dominated as much as in any Michigan game I can recall.
So when JT elected to take a knee on the final play it was a statement louder than Woody's "Because they wouldn't let me go for three." spoken of 40 years earlier. And beneath the meager final score of 14-3 lay a sounder drubbing than the 50-14 tally of that long ago day.
18. PERSPECTIVE
I am sure my perpetual ramblings on perspective get old. But the perspective we get from experience is what enables us to understand what is right in front of us.
The Carr era is over. The Tressel era is not. Wins may come tougher. But they will come. I worked in an industry where process was at a premium. Tressel is a man of process. He is about doing the right things, the small things, and doing them consistently. And when the right people meet the right processes good things happen.
None of that is changing in Columbus any time soon. We may lose some juniors. But where are we lacking in depth? We may lose some coaches. The line is long of folks waiting to apply.
Illinois will get stronger under Zook. MSU will get stronger under Dantonio. Michigan should get stronger under a new coach (nobody should be hoping they continue their current trend). And that is all good. The biggest problem I have with this season is that it was too easy. Too few challenges - not too many.
We will lose some games. Even some that we shouldn't. Welcome to College Football. But there are some hellacious football teams coming to Columbus Ohio. And in the mean time if you are still hung up on the NC and can't celebrate 11-1 find a new sport. This was a great year. NC or no - this was one hell of a year.
Someday the Tressel era will end. But not yet.
Savor it.
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kick ass read
