The Maurice Clarett Saga Unfolds ESPN article #38. Geez, I don't even know who Dan Shanoff is. How can I. I can hardly visit the ESPN site anymore. At least this guy doesn't want any part of a sympathetic angle on Maurice. 08/10/06 Two Words For You: MO. PROBLEMS. - ESPN •FB Two Words For You: MO. PROBLEMS. By Dan Shanoff ESPN: The Daily Quicky Tom Friend can have the sympathetic angle to the latest twist to the Maurice Clarett story. I don't want it. I can't stomach it. Of all of the freaky details from his latest arrest … • Loaded gun under his legs? • AK-47 sitting shotgun? • Wearing bulletproof vest? • Half-empty bottle of vodka? • Stews in jail until trial? Here's the scariest: Clarett has a new daughter. He told Friend that he's head-over-heels in love with her. As a new dad, I can relate. That detail almost makes him sympathetic. Almost. (Maybe that's why Clarett's SUV was found with a CD of children's songs recorded by Ohio prison inmates. Whaaa?! Needless to say, you won't find that on iTunes. Let's just say they ain't the Wiggles.) Clarett's new fatherhood makes this latest episode even worse; it morphs it from mockable for its sensationalized details into virtual child abuse. If he's so in love with his new infant daughter (he gets so emotional that when he holds her he cries, he told Friend), how can he reconcile that with his latest monumental freak-out in judgment? You don't need an AK-47 or a bulletproof vest to be a good father. I'm willing to concede that perhaps Clarett felt he or his new baby were threatened by some as-yet-unproven menace (as relayed via Friend), but -- in his new, responsible role as a parent -- why not go to the cops, instead of fleeing from them? Nothing in Clarett's sorry existence makes sense, but imploding his life just when he's expected to shepherd a new one is the most senseless of all.