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BREAKING NEWS - vECONOMIC CRISIS LOOMS

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Oh8ch

Oh8ch

Cognoscente of Omphaloskepsis
Staff member
...

VNN has learned that Buckeye Planet (BP) - the nation's largest site for vSports Gambling using pretend money - is on the verge of financial collapse.

The BP vCash system has been in a freefall since rumors began that Terrelle Pryor might become the starting quarterback despite 10,000 to one odds against it. Acting on a tip from an anonymous source known only as "Alan" VNN began investigating BP earlier this week.

DaddyBigBucks bookie for the Pryor bet (who only recently changed user names) was given a v$2,000,000 raise just prior to the start of the season. He and BB73 both have clauses in their contracts that guarantee generous severance packages that are to be paid up front should the vCash system fail.

Asked how he felt about triggering the potential fall of BP DaddyBigBucks replied, "A normal person might be embarrassed".

"To be honest" he went on, "The bet itself refers to Boeckman being benched. I calculated the odds relative to Bauserman. I forgot Terrelle was on the team."

Only a small handful of BP users would benefit from Pryor starting - but these benefits would be ginormous. (JWins and LJB have already scheduled lengthy and expensive RomperRoom "chats" with Deety and OSUsushichic.)

Meanwhile run of the mill users are having a hard time finding money for simple things like signature lines and bold fonts.

"Parallels to the overall US economy are striking" said Sarah Palin, candidate to become America's first VPILF. "Controls must be put in place. Frankly, the entire vBookie system has been at risk since Oh8ch lost interest a couple of years back."

Palin went on to say that she would be surprised to see Pryor start. She had expected him to see the field in a more non-traditional role, but that if anyone had their own "special package" it was clearly Thump.

Barack Obama was furious at the news. "Did we learn nothing from the SNG debacle? What will happen if BP collapses? Let's face it. These folks are using pretend money. They are already losers."

Both candidates have stated they would not support a bailout for Buckeye Planet. However, VNN was able to contact one group of investors rumored to be considering a takeover. When asked of their plans a spokesman said: "So solly, no speaky ingliss".

When asked for comment site founder Clarity - responding in binary - said simply "2673".

Asked to elaborate osugrad21 proffered "There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who do not."
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This is what happens when those who control the book also control the vprinting of the vcash.

Everyone may as well vwallpaper their rubber-walled vrooms with vcash once it's paid out.

Next you're going to report that veconomists have been making up their budget shortfalls by borrowing from MGoBlue. :shake:
 
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The money drop went horribly wrong.

2005_06_sightseeingchopper.jpg


Oh, the humanity...

Nessman1.jpg
 
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