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Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by OSUsushichic, Mar 2, 2005.

  1. OSUsushichic

    OSUsushichic Fired up! Ready to go!

    That is one big fuckin' lobsta! (PETA = People For Eating Tasty Animals :lol: )

    No Butter for Bubba, the 22-Pound Lobster

    Wed Mar 2, 8:37 AM ET

    By MIKE CRISSEY, Associated Press Writer

    PITTSBURGH - He could be older than Warner Bros. studio, General Motors and the Boy Scouts. He could have survived two world wars and Prohibition. He could have been dinner.

    He's Bubba, a 22-pound leviathan of a lobster pulled from the waters off Nantucket, Mass., and shipped to a Pittsburgh fish market.

    "It is overwhelming," owner Bob Wholey said. "If you see it, you will never forget it. Customers are just in awe."

    On Tuesday, Wholey gave the lobster to the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium, which will send him to an aquarium at a Ripley's Believe It or Not museum.

    Based on how long it typically takes a lobster to reach eating size — about five to seven years to grow to a pound — Bubba may be 100 years old.

    That would make the crustacean older than Warner Bros. (1907), the Boy Scouts (1910) and the states of Arizona and New Mexico (1912), not to mention the first commercial radio station (1920), television (1927) and computers (1943).

    People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent Wholey a letter asking him to work with the group to release Bubba back in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Maine.

    Another group calling itself People For Eating Tasty Animals reportedly offered Wholey a hefty price for the lobster. At Tuesday's price of $14.98 a pound, Bubba would retail for about $350.

    Bob Bayer, executive director of the University of Maine's Lobster Institute, is skeptical and estimates that Bubba is likely 50 years old, but doesn't know for sure. Warm water and plenty of food may have more to do with a lobster's size than how long it's been alive.

    "We have looked at all kinds of things to figure out if there is any way to age a lobster. I'm guessing 100 years is probably too high but I can't argue with it because you don't know," Bayer said.

    No matter his age, Bubba dwarfs a typical 1 1/2-pound lobster. He's about three feet long and took up about half a 4-foot-by-4-foot tank at Wholey's Market. A lobster sharing his tank was about as big as one of Bubba's claws.

    A handful of people who wandered by the tank Tuesday were impressed. One woman quietly said, "Wow," while a man said, "He's serious."

    Although his business is to sell seafood, Wholey says Bubba was never bound to be boiled and buttered. And he's become a little philosophical after seeing the lobster, which could be twice his 54 years.

    "I don't think you could eat something that big. ... What range of emotions does a lobster have? Greed? Lust? Love? I'm just going to give him to the zoo and hope he lives another 100 years," Wholey said.

    "If you sat down and ate this thing, wouldn't that be a bit shellfish?"
  2. Gobucki

    Gobucki I'm using the Internet!!!

    Sounds delicious!

    I have a friend that we call Lobster Boy and he weighs around 200lbs. Makes that Bubba sound pretty girly if I don't say so myself.
  3. kinch

    kinch Wash me Staff Member

    The last line of that story ruined the whole thing for me.



  4. omg! what i would pay to eat that! 22lbs! i love lobster....the tail alone must be like what? 5-1o lbs?
  5. buckeyegrad

    buckeyegrad Don't Immanentize the Eschaton Staff Member

    This story reminds me of old Pinchy. It was a sad day when Homer had to eat him, but boy was he delicious.

    Actually, that is one of my favorite Simpsons moments. It is classic to see Homer cry over the loss of his pet while he simultaneously eats Pinchy and compliments the taste.
  6. kinch

    kinch Wash me Staff Member

  7. NJ-Buckeye

    NJ-Buckeye They Hate Us cuz They Ain't Us.. Banners are good Staff Member

    " A necropsy will be performed." does that mean a team of three are boiling and eating him ???
  8. NorthShoreBuck

    NorthShoreBuck True Madness Requires Significant Intelligence

    I know someone that knows someone and they said Bubba was only 20 but he got that big doing roids. He actually lived in the discharge of a high school where is got the roids second hand.

    Wait, there are no good high school sports in Mass so roids are out of the question.
    Must have been the warm water discharge of the local nuke plant.
  9. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

  10. Alan

    Alan Banned

    Somewhow I find this entire story to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. In a pathetic sort of way for humankind.
  11. Deety

    Deety Senior

    In Pittsburgh? And:

    Does lobster go with slurpee?
  12. Thump

    Thump Hating the environment since 1994

  13. AKAK

    AKAK Well, that's like hypnotizing chickens. Staff Member Tech Admin

    Ode to Bubba

    Bubba was a lobster
    Who used to swim in the sea
    A big giant bug
    Avoiding seafood fricasse

    One day he said
    I'll swim in a trap
    Little did he know
    He was in a pile of crap

    Onward and upward
    Through the brackish sea
    Bubba Ascended
    Never again to be free

    Onto the deck
    and Down a chute
    Into a cooler
    They shoved the great brute

    Off to Pittsburgh
    Land of rusty Steel
    Waiting for a Baron
    To make him a meal

    But too fat to fulfill
    his destiny of dinner
    They pacakaged him up
    So he tried to get thinner

    Off to the Zoo
    He thought "OH Great"
    They'll feed me to the lions
    or use me as wolf bait

    Saddened by his fate
    Not able to be boiled
    Bubba gave up his crustacean Ghost
    And PETA's plan was at last Foiled
  14. Buckeyeskickbuttocks

    Buckeyeskickbuttocks Z --> Z^2 + c Staff Member

    Very moving piece, Kbuck. I'm touched. Truely.
  15. kinch

    kinch Wash me Staff Member

    I touched myself when I read it too.

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