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Dear Tech Support

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by LoKyBuckeye, Sep 3, 2004.

  1. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
    that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
    lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
    all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications
    such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing
    3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
    the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
    is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
    SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
    impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
    impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
    once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
    not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
    Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the
    situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
    alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE
    because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
    system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high
    maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean
    and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
    will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this
    happens the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
    additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
    Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will
    cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support
  2. BuckeyeSkins

    BuckeyeSkins Go Bucks/Hail to the Redskins!!

    Try reformatting your hard drive.
  3. ScarletInMyVeins

    ScarletInMyVeins Tanned Fat Looks Better

    I believe that there is going to be a new product on the market soon that will override wife1.0. It will be called amnesia1.0 and completely erases any damage done by wife1.0 and any of it's supporting programs.
  4. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

    this article is complete bogus. theres no way a person who enjoys these 2 things even knows what a computer is......let alone tech support. :lol:
  5. BuckeyeTillIDie

    BuckeyeTillIDie The North Remembers

    did this all start from inserting the floppy disk into the hard drive?
  6. NorthShoreBuck

    NorthShoreBuck True Madness Requires Significant Intelligence

    I have always had trouble with my network cable.

    Too many ports to plug it into.
  7. RugbyBuck

    RugbyBuck Our church has no bells.

    I employ an auxillary plug to ensure that I am providing maximum port connection and satisfactory customer service. If I could just remember to take the batteries out when going through airport security...
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2004
  8. exhawg

    exhawg Mirror Guy Staff Member

    I hear Wife 1.0 also disables USB flash devices.
  9. IronBuckI

    IronBuckI Calmer than you are.

    Does using a gigantic magnet erase Wife 1.0 from your harddrive? Or does that just create more questions, that you don't want to answer.
  10. The KSB

    The KSB 4-4-11/11-5-11

    Once I upgraded to wife 1.0 I noticed that my hard drive no longer had easy access to the audio port.
  11. BrutusBobcat

    BrutusBobcat Icon and Entertainer

    That is a common complaint I hear from my married friends, so I have avoided that upgrade.

    However, I have not been able to find a version of Girlfriend that is stable, which leaves me without any audio port access between installs. ExGirlfriend 9.0 is more trouble than it is worth for temporary port tapping, and I long ago gave up messing with OneNightStand 5.0 due to inconsistent performance and fear of viruses.

    All programs seem to have their issues, I guess.
  12. kippy1040

    kippy1040 Junior

    In the early years of my technology interest, I found that my tower was strong and the hard drive could sustain long hours correcting any floppy dics that were out of program but now since the hard drive has gone into a soft and slow mode, i find that it is time to download a new and different set of tools, to help recover any RAM that I still have left.
  13. buckeyebri

    buckeyebri 40 Days in the Hole

    I found that running Cruise Vacation 3.0 can help with Wife 1.0. It has uprgrades for Wife 1.0's user friendliness, leading to increased port availabilty.

    It should be noted that Cruise Vacation 3.0 should be used in conjunction with Grandparents 2.0. Once Grandparents 2.0 is installed it will automatically take over operations for Kids 2.5.
  14. brutusbabe

    brutusbabe owner of great buckeyes

    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> "this article is complete bogus. theres no way a person who enjoys these 2 things even knows what a computer is......let alone tech support. :lol:"Be nice, DiHard does and he is a pretty intelligent guy. (in most cases:wink2: )
  15. Sloopy45

    Sloopy45 Pimp Minister Sinister

    KSB: "Once I upgraded to wife 1.0 I noticed that my hard drive no longer had easy access to the audio port."

    I think I just peed myself reading this. Good job, KSB.

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