Favorite old school "saying"

[Ghost Recon]

I'm off like a prom dress

I'm off like a pair of wet panties

 

[iambrutus]

i'm out like the fat kid in dodge ball

i love you like a fat kid loves cake

 

[Saw31]

She's so ugly, you gotta tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

 

[scarletandgrey]

She so ugly it looks liek she ate a stick of dynamite for breakfast

 

[scarletandgrey]

Sweating like a cucumber in a gay bar

 

[LoKyBuckeye]

"useless as tits on a worm"

 

[scarletandgrey]

"useless as tits on a worm"

Useless as bret favre in a football game.....J/K

 

[LoKyBuckeye]

 

[Ginn & Juice]

I'm out like Muhammad Ali in Jenga

 

[GoBucks89]

My drill sergeant in basic training once said:
"What's the matter with you? You're sweating like a pregnant nun!"

Also:
"We're going to go through them like crap through a goose."

 

[gbcosu]

For a fat person...
If they went to haul ass it would take them two trips.

Bad Luck.....
I could fall into a barrel of titties and come out sucking a dick

 

[iambrutus]

I'm out like Muhammad Ali in Jenga

thank you, now the people that sit on the other side of the wall, asked why i just spit water every where! thats funny shit

 

[tyrus]

I am going to act like a broken rubber and head out.
............................horse shit and hit the trail.
............................baby and head out.

 

[FookMichiganTGJ]

your a day late and a dollar short

 

[Jaxbuck]

Lower than a snakes gut in a tire rut

Uglier than homemade soap

sweating like a fag eating a hot dog

to bust on a guy taking a piss: "he's got 5 fingers on it and pissing all over 3 of them."

for traffic light situations: "there's only 1 shade of green you fucking retard."

to emphasize how fine a woman is: "finer than frayed frogs hair"

harder than chineese arithmitic

more chins than chinatown

confused as a hungry baby in a titty bar

confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market

worn out as a cucumber in a convent

I could rattle of hundreds but they just come to me in conversation. My grandfather was the funniest guy in the world for this kind of shit, it was literally how he spoke and he knew them all.