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Got a headache? It could be a knife in your head.

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by LoKyBuckeye, Mar 7, 2005.

  1. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

    Knife in skull proves a headache
    From correspondents in Warsaw
    March 07, 2005

    Lost ... where's the bread knife? HOSPITAL staff treating a retired teacher for a headache in Poland found a 12.5cm blade in his head.

    Polish doctors had X-rayed Leonard Woronowicz, 61, to see if he had cracked his skull in a fall while doing some repairs in his kitchen four days earlier.
    Instead they found the blade just below his right ear. It had snapped off at the handle.

    "I thought they might give me an aspirin. Instead they pulled a 5inch knife blade out of my head," he said.

    Mr Woronowicz said the knife must have been among tools scattered on the floor. He did not realise it was missing until he needed to cut some bread.

    "Despite carefully searching the room I could only find the handle. But I forgot about it as my headaches got worse over the next few days."

  2. osugrad21

    osugrad21 Capo Regime Staff Member

    Must resist Pollack jokes...much too easy...muuust reeesist.
  3. Deety

    Deety Senior

    No, come on, let's hear 'em. :biggrin:

  4. osugrad21

    osugrad21 Capo Regime Staff Member

    I thought it was Deetyski
  5. Deety

    Deety Senior

    When we ruled Poland in the 1600s, yes, but then we joined the add-a-consonant program. It's sort of like the witness protection program, only it doesn't actually hide you; just makes people less likely to yell out your name in a crowd. If I hyphenated my parents' names, I would have an even 11 letters on each side. Whee!

    Also Italian, capische?

    Deety"Extra Credit On Every Spelling Bee"zczyk

    P.S. Maybe I should get these migraines checked after all...
  6. osugrad21

    osugrad21 Capo Regime Staff Member

    Hmm Polish eh...I was going to ask about your sausage skills but then I realized what a loaded question that really is around here :roll2:
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2005
  7. Deety

    Deety Senior

    Must resist sausage jokes...much too easy...muuust reeesist.
  8. osugrad21

    osugrad21 Capo Regime Staff Member

    Touche' Miss Deetycyzkski
  9. Oh8ch

    Oh8ch Cognoscente of Omphaloskepsis Staff Member

    As requested - a polish sausage joke:

    A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage."

    The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

    The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something." If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"

    The clerk says, "Well, no."

    With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?"

    The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
  10. Deety

    Deety Senior

    Maybe I did your comedy act for you...
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2005
  11. Oh8ch

    Oh8ch Cognoscente of Omphaloskepsis Staff Member


    I think the post script to this one is now as follows -

    The guy tells the clerk, "Well then can I buy a saw to cut my polish sausage? I had a good knife, but all I can find is the handle."
  12. osugrad21

    osugrad21 Capo Regime Staff Member

    Wow Oh8...tough crowd tonight I guess
  13. Deety

    Deety Senior

    I'm still waiting on your Pollack jokes...
  14. BIATCHabutuka

    BIATCHabutuka out of chaos comes playoffs

    well, if we are going to go with people's heritage and race tonight....

    i got a guy at work that is real life mexican, as in born and raised in mexico and then moved to california and then to ohio. everyone at work has a nickname (mine is canine due to dogs well known love for me). greg is now only known as taco. he even signs his name as taco on his paperwork and what not.

    recently i hired a black guy and an asian guy to work on taco's shift. i am not really looking forward to hearing their nicknames. both of them seem pretty cool though at least.

    other good real life workplace nicknames....

    i got a 330 pound guy working for me, his nickname is D-cups.

    i got a yosemite sam look a like working here too. too easy on the nickname there. why he wears his facial hair like that being a short little red headed dude is beyond me. very excitable guy too.

    i got a guy known as the plastic surgeon.

    i got a guy that takes about as much time as possible on every job, he really milks it out. his nickname, dairy farmer.

    the guys at work crack me up everyday, but officially i am totally unaware of any such goings on. fortunately, most everyone there has a really good sense of humor and nobody takes anything personal.
  15. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

    you got a problem with me? say it to my face punk.

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