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"i am better than your kids"

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by Mothra, Nov 4, 2004.

  1. Mothra

    Mothra The Man In The Box '14 Bowl Upsets Champ


    I am better than your kids.

    If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

    <TABLE cellSpacing=3 cellPadding=5 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Megan, age 4</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the shittiest dog I've ever seen. F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Kyle, age 8</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>You spelled America wrong asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor.F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Lisa, age 6</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit.F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Cameron, age 4</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>Terrible. F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Bryce, age 10</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>I win. When I go into work next, I'm going to surprise all my co-workers and put up pictures of myself instead of their ugly kids and their inane drawings.


    More crappy children's art work </CENTER>

    The premise: I can draw better, spell better, and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

    <TABLE cellSpacing=3 cellPadding=5 border=0><TBODY><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Jon, age 8</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Rachel, age 7</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Jason, age 6</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Seth, age 4</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm! F</TD></TR><TR><TD>[​IMG] <CENTER>Kelly, age 9</CENTER></TD><TD class=h1>This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your shit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their shit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-assed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>I can't believe how much I rule.

  2. BuckeyeNation27

    BuckeyeNation27 Goal Goal USA! Staff Member

    this is classic.....but maddox hates when people steal his shit. it probly even pisses him off if you copy and give him credit.

    btw, if you want an even better laugh, read his hate mail where people actually get pissed off about this. :lol: people are fucking stupid.
  3. bigtenbadboy

    bigtenbadboy 3rd Rate Lurker

    I about choked on the comment "I've never seen a fire truck that needed to shave". Classic.
  4. DEBuckeye

    DEBuckeye It ain't easy, bein' cheesy.

    That is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. I am literally crying here at my desk.
    :slappy: :slappy: :slappy: :slappy: :slappy:

    By the way, my boss has 4 or 5 of these pictures in his office....
  5. Buckeyeskickbuttocks

    Buckeyeskickbuttocks Z --> Z^2 + c Staff Member

    That site rocks.
  6. f8hfulsteph

    f8hfulsteph Newbie

    hate mail

    Where is the hate mail site? send to please
  7. stxbuck

    stxbuck Woody wore Sambas

    He posts it-the hate mail- on his site. Mothra has the link in his post. The entire thing is hilarious-tell him you are a huge football fan if you really want to see him go off.
  8. Bucklion

    Bucklion Throwback Staff Member Former Premier League Champ

    Oh my GAWD that is funny shit! I browsed the site a little, and came across this about the movie Braveheart (it was "5 shitty movies that everyone likes"):

    I'm sure if you're a fan of Braveheart you're probably saying "BUT MADOX YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT OF THE MOVIE, WHO CARES ABOUT CAMERA WORK LOL?" Everyone always thinks the battle scenes in this movie were awesome; even people who didn't like the movie say "...but the battle scenes were done well." What the hell do you know about battle scenes? You're a team manager for an insurance company, go manage something. People watch Mel Gibson running around with his bitch tits for a few hours and they suddenly think they're experts on swordery (swordery is like sorcery with swords).

  9. scUM Buster

    scUM Buster kick some ass

    You gotta wonder about somebody who's first post ever is to resurrect a 7 month old thread....but I've always liked Maddox humor.
  10. scarletandgrey

    scarletandgrey Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!


    Now that there is some funny shit. I need to look at some of the older stuff more often.
  11. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand.

    I've seen it before but it gets funnier every time I see it :lol:
  12. ScarletBlood31

    ScarletBlood31 Buckeye in Blacksburg

    wow... still hilarious after seeing it many times before.


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