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New ATM Proceedures

Discussion in 'Open Discussion (Work-safe)' started by 3yardsandacloud, Jan 15, 2004.

  1. 3yardsandacloud

    3yardsandacloud Administrator Emeritus

    My appologies in advance to any ladies reading this thread - 3yards

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances, MALE or FEMALE, and remember them when you use the machine for the first time.

    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.

    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window to machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Turn the radio down.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way up.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check make up in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
    18. Re-check make-up again.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
    23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver queuing behind.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    26. Release Parking Brake.

    Go Bucks!
     
  2. LoKyBuckeye

    LoKyBuckeye I give up. This board is too hard to understand. Staff Member

    My wife and I had to go to an ATM a few weeks ago while she was driving and I think that most of those things happened. I wonder if I'll get in trouble if I send her this joke?!?! :rofl:
     
  3. gbearbuck

    gbearbuck Herbie for President

    We don't want the ladies driving around town in the middle of winter with their windows down...

    21b) roll window up

    :biggrin:
     
  4. Brutus1

    Brutus1 Don't be penurious, donate to the BP Spring Dr.

    99 times out of 100, #7 is right on. I think it may be breast related . :biggrin:
     
  5. On a somewhat related note. My wife's driver side window doesn't roll down. Well we went to the drive thru yesterday while I was driving and I had to open the door. Man did I feel like a jacka##. Needless to say I don't think we will be taking her car again.
     

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